[{"_1":2,"_3":-5,"_4":-5},"loaderData",{"_5":6,"_7":8},"actionData","errors","root",{"_137":-5,"_138":-5,"_139":140,"_141":142,"_143":144},"routes/clips.$id.$slug",{"_9":10,"_11":12},"clip",{"_13":14,"_15":16,"_17":-5,"_18":19,"_20":-5,"_21":22,"_23":24,"_25":26,"_27":28,"_29":30,"_31":32,"_33":34,"_35":36,"_37":38,"_39":40,"_41":-5,"_42":-5,"_43":-5,"_44":45,"_46":-5,"_47":48,"_49":50,"_51":-5},"canonicalUrl","https://howleaderslead.com/clips/2486/surround-yourself-with-people-who-will-call-you-out","id",2486,"title","Surround yourself with people who will call you out","subtitle","transcript","WEBVTT\n\n1\n00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.020\nI think to be great, you need to have people around you that aren't scared to\n\n2\n00:00:08.020 --> 00:00:08.680\ntell you\n\n3\n00:00:08.680 --> 00:00:11.640\nwhen you are going astray.\n\n4\n00:00:11.640 --> 00:00:16.860\nAnd for me, that could be when I'm getting overly ambitious and setting\n\n5\n00:00:16.860 --> 00:00:18.680\nunrealistic goals.\n\n6\n00:00:18.680 --> 00:00:23.360\nThat could be where my desire to trust is being overwhelmed by my desire to\n\n7\n00:00:23.360 --> 00:00:24.120\ncontrol.\n\n8\n00:00:24.120 --> 00:00:27.120\nThat could be a whole host of issues.\n\n9\n00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:31.220\nBut listen, no matter what you do, if you believe in hospitality, you need to\n\n10\n00:00:31.220 --> 00:00:31.680\nrecognize\n\n11\n00:00:31.680 --> 00:00:33.360\nthat it's a team sport, right?\n\n12\n00:00:33.360 --> 00:00:37.200\nIt doesn't matter how hospitable anyone individual it is.\n\n13\n00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:40.840\nIt's the hospitality of every person on the team that defines your success.\n\n14\n00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:45.240\nAnd if you agree that it's a team sport, then you need to play the game like\n\n15\n00:00:45.240 --> 00:00:46.120\nyou're a part\n\n16\n00:00:46.120 --> 00:00:50.720\nof the team, not that you're some solo artist there.\n\n17\n00:00:50.720 --> 00:00:57.260\nWhen you lead a team, it doesn't mean that people on the team don't get to lead\n\n18\n00:00:57.260 --> 00:00:57.680\nyou\n\n19\n00:00:57.680 --> 00:00:58.680\nsometimes.\n\n20\n00:00:58.680 --> 00:01:02.840\nGreat leaders know when to follow and that only happens if you create the kind\n\n21\n00:01:02.840 --> 00:01:03.920\nof relationships\n\n22\n00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:07.240\nwhere people can trust them the fact that they can call you out.\n\n23\n00:01:07.240 --> 00:01:10.440\nAnd that's something that you'll appreciate.\n\n24\n00:01:10.440 --> 00:01:11.920\nWe all need those truth tellers out.\n","pretty_transcript","start_time",903000,"end_time",971939,"keywords","Accountability, ambition, control, team, truth tellers","slug","surround-yourself-with-people-who-will-call-you-out","origin","cms","mux_playback_id","3Eh4T1011qHcnzjR5EemiqHSFxsmR01V3QxA01uwym01bPk","mux_asset_id","D3UChpLQhhpc7lLspaV5AOdfWX501TwTyX01G00JS5bapY","leader_id",186,"episode_id",337,"updated_at","2025-02-26T20:12:10.000000Z","meta_title","meta_description","og_image_media_id","web_url","https://www.howleaderslead.com/clips/2486/surround-yourself-with-people-who-will-call-you-out","og_image_url","leader",{"_13":36,"_101":102,"_103":104,"_105":106,"_25":107,"_108":109,"_62":110,"_59":110,"_111":112,"_69":113,"_39":114,"_115":-5,"_41":-5,"_42":-5,"_43":-5,"_116":117,"_89":118,"_44":119,"_120":121,"_122":123,"_46":-5,"_124":125,"_126":127,"_93":128,"_51":-5},"episode",{"_13":38,"_15":52,"_27":53,"_17":54,"_55":56,"_18":57,"_20":58,"_59":60,"_61":-5,"_62":60,"_63":-5,"_64":65,"_66":67,"_68":-5,"_69":-5,"_70":71,"_72":73,"_74":-5,"_35":36,"_39":75,"_41":-5,"_42":-5,"_43":-5,"_76":77,"_78":79,"_80":81,"_82":83,"_84":-5,"_85":-5,"_86":87,"_88":-5,"_89":-5,"_46":-5,"_90":91,"_92":-5,"_93":-5,"_51":-5},"og_image_media","Make people feel seen","make-people-feel-seen","Learn how to make people seen and understood—and why that’s key to creating the kind of trust you need to lead well. Plus, all kinds of advice on how to build a strong, healthy team.","summary","

As leaders, how we make people feel is SO important.

This week, learn how to make the people you serve feel seen and understood. It’s the power of “unreasonable hospitality,” a term that helped Will Guidara make his restaurant, Eleven Madison Park, the #1 restaurant in the world in 2017.

You don’t have to be in the hospitality industry to find lots of takeaways here to help your business rise to the top.

You’ll also learn:

Why you should tell people what you’re good at
How to give criticism
The big risk you take by thinking you need to be perfect all the time
Two keys to building a learning culture

","WEBVTT\n\n1\n00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.000\nInvest the time to get to know the people that work for you.\n\n2\n00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:10.560\nYou can't lead a group that isn't willing to follow you, and one of the best\n\n3\n00:00:10.560 --> 00:00:16.000\nways to get people to follow you is if they trust you, and it is so much easier\n\n4\n00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:20.000\nfor people to trust you if they know you and feel known by you.\n\n5\n00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:29.360\nWelcome to How Leaders Lead, where every week you get to listen in while I\n\n6\n00:00:29.360 --> 00:00:32.000\ninterview some of the very best leaders in the world.\n\n7\n00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:35.790\nI break down the key learning so that by the end of the episode, you'll have\n\n8\n00:00:35.790 --> 00:00:40.000\nsomething simple you can apply as you develop into a better leader.\n\n9\n00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:43.000\nThat's what this podcast is all about.\n\n10\n00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:47.130\nToday's guest is Will Gudera, the former owner of the legendary New York\n\n11\n00:00:47.130 --> 00:00:53.000\nrestaurant, Eleven Madison Park, and he's also a best-selling author.\n\n12\n00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:58.470\nUnder Will's leadership, Eleven Madison Park received three Michelin stars, and\n\n13\n00:00:58.470 --> 00:01:04.930\nin 2017, they were named number one on the list of the world's 50 best\n\n14\n00:01:04.930 --> 00:01:06.000\nrestaurants.\n\n15\n00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:09.000\nThat is one heck of a feat.\n\n16\n00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:14.310\nNow, you don't get that kind of recognition unless your food is incredible, but\n\n17\n00:01:14.310 --> 00:01:19.610\nwhat's really set the restaurant apart is their level of service and how they\n\n18\n00:01:19.610 --> 00:01:21.000\ntake care of customers.\n\n19\n00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:26.970\nWill calls it unreasonable hospitality, and I gotta say, I just love that idea\n\n20\n00:01:26.970 --> 00:01:33.250\nbecause as leaders taking care of people and making them feel valued and seen,\n\n21\n00:01:33.250 --> 00:01:37.000\nwell, it's a key part of how you build trust on your team.\n\n22\n00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:42.150\nWhether you're running a restaurant or running a business, you'll find lots of\n\n23\n00:01:42.150 --> 00:01:46.000\ntakeaways here to help you and your team rise to the top.\n\n24\n00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:57.200\nSo here's my conversation with my good friend, and soon to be yours, Will Guder\n\n25\n00:01:57.200 --> 00:01:58.000\na.\n\n26\n00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:04.800\nI want to know why you say that a hot dog helped Eleven Madison Park become the\n\n27\n00:02:04.800 --> 00:02:10.970\nnumber one restaurant in the world. Don't you do like five star gourmet\n\n28\n00:02:10.970 --> 00:02:15.000\neverything hot dog? You gotta explain this to me.\n\n29\n00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:21.240\nThe hot dog moment really was a breakthrough moment in the evolution of the\n\n30\n00:02:21.240 --> 00:02:27.680\nrestaurant, and perhaps more specifically me identifying how we could make our\n\n31\n00:02:27.680 --> 00:02:31.000\nimpact on the world of restaurants.\n\n32\n00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:34.960\nWe had these aspirations to become the number one restaurant in the world, but\n\n33\n00:02:34.960 --> 00:02:39.000\nwhen you really take a moment and think about it, that idea is kind of absurd.\n\n34\n00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:44.560\nHow do you say one restaurant is the best restaurant in the world? What that\n\n35\n00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:49.180\naward really symbolizes is that a restaurant is having the greatest impact on\n\n36\n00:02:49.180 --> 00:02:52.000\nthe world of restaurants at any given time.\n\n37\n00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:58.650\nAnd when I looked at the restaurants that had accomplished that before us, they\n\n38\n00:02:58.650 --> 00:03:03.740\nwere all run by chefs, chefs who were extraordinarily talented, who were\n\n39\n00:03:03.740 --> 00:03:08.000\nunreasonable in pursuit of the product they served relentless and pursued of\n\n40\n00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:08.000\nthe sourcing of the restaurant.\n\n41\n00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:12.080\nAnd so the sourcing of ingredients or the techniques, they were innovating all\n\n42\n00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:13.000\nof this stuff.\n\n43\n00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:16.730\nAnd I realized that for us to become number one, our impact would come in a\n\n44\n00:03:16.730 --> 00:03:22.480\nvery different way. We would make it through choosing to be unreasonable and\n\n45\n00:03:22.480 --> 00:03:26.000\npursuit of people and relentless in pursuit of the one thing that will never\n\n46\n00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:33.080\nchange, which is our human desire to feel seen, to feel cared for, to feel\n\n47\n00:03:33.080 --> 00:03:34.000\nwelcomed.\n\n48\n00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:38.250\nSo unreasonable hospitality became our call to arms. That was the language I\n\n49\n00:03:38.250 --> 00:03:41.000\nused to articulate the impact I wanted to make.\n\n50\n00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:45.500\nYeah, but the hot dog, you got to tell me about this hot dog, okay? How does a\n\n51\n00:03:45.500 --> 00:03:47.000\nhot dog fit into all this?\n\n52\n00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:49.640\nYou know, sometimes you come up with these big ideas, these words that symbol\n\n53\n00:03:49.640 --> 00:03:52.340\nize everything you want to achieve, and then you look at those words and you\n\n54\n00:03:52.340 --> 00:03:56.010\nrealize you have no idea what they mean and you just need to trust in the fact\n\n55\n00:03:56.010 --> 00:04:00.000\nthat as you pursue them, they will reveal themselves to you along the way.\n\n56\n00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:04.670\nThey really began to reveal themselves to me through the hot dog. And so there\n\n57\n00:04:04.670 --> 00:04:06.000\nwas a lunch service.\n\n58\n00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:09.300\nAbout a year and a half after I wrote those words in a cocktail napkin for the\n\n59\n00:04:09.300 --> 00:04:13.000\nfirst time, the servers were busier than they were meant to be.\n\n60\n00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:16.750\nI was out in the dining room helping them. I was clearing tables. And I found\n\n61\n00:04:16.750 --> 00:04:21.000\nmyself clearing appetizers from a table of four foodies.\n\n62\n00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:26.560\nThere were Europeans on vacation to New York City just to go to great\n\n63\n00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:28.690\nrestaurants. They'd been to some of the best restaurants in New York. This was\n\n64\n00:04:28.690 --> 00:04:29.000\ntheir last meal.\n\n65\n00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:32.170\nThey were on their way to the airport right after lunch to head back home. And\n\n66\n00:04:32.170 --> 00:04:35.930\nwhile I was clearing their table, I overheard them talking and they were going\n\n67\n00:04:35.930 --> 00:04:38.000\non and on about what a great trip it was.\n\n68\n00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:41.180\nNow the amazing meals they had. And now they were out of Lev Madison Park, but\n\n69\n00:04:41.180 --> 00:04:44.000\nthen one woman jumped in and said, \"Yeah, but you know, we never had.\n\n70\n00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:51.100\nWe never just stopped at one of the street carts and got a hot dog.\" David, you\n\n71\n00:04:51.100 --> 00:04:51.730\nknow that moment in a cartoon where the animated light bulb goes off over the\n\n72\n00:04:51.730 --> 00:04:54.000\ncharacter's head. You know they've had a good idea.\n\n73\n00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:57.230\nAs calmly as I could, I walked back into the kitchen and ran outside of the hot\n\n74\n00:04:57.230 --> 00:05:01.000\ndog cart in front of the restaurant. Bonna hot dog ran back inside.\n\n75\n00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:05.880\nThen came the hard part, convincing my fancy chef to serve it in our fancy\n\n76\n00:05:05.880 --> 00:05:07.000\nrestaurant.\n\n77\n00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:10.940\nBut I told him it was important to me. And we cut the hot dog up into four\n\n78\n00:05:10.940 --> 00:05:15.200\nperfect pieces, put one on each plate, added a little swish of ketchup and\n\n79\n00:05:15.200 --> 00:05:20.000\nmustard and a perfect little scoop of sauerkraut and relish to each plate.\n\n80\n00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:25.200\nThen before their final savory course, which at the time was our signature\n\n81\n00:05:25.200 --> 00:05:30.000\nhoney lavender glazed muscovy duck that had been dry aged for two weeks.\n\n82\n00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:36.220\nI brought out what we in New York called a dirty water dog to their table. And\n\n83\n00:05:36.220 --> 00:05:40.700\nmy gosh, listen, I had been serving food my entire life. Millions of dollars\n\n84\n00:05:40.700 --> 00:05:44.000\nworth, foie gras caviar, wagyu beef, lobster, truffles.\n\n85\n00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:52.970\nI never had seen anyone react like they did to the $2 hot dog. And that moment,\n\n86\n00:05:52.970 --> 00:05:59.000\nthat was a coming of age for me where my gosh, I realized that I'd been looking\n\n87\n00:05:59.000 --> 00:05:59.000\nat my business and I'd been looking at my business.\n\n88\n00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:03.870\nAnd the entirely wrong way. And that hot dog became our new true north one that\n\n89\n00:06:03.870 --> 00:06:08.470\nwe dissected and unbacked in order to figure out the roadmap that could allow\n\n90\n00:06:08.470 --> 00:06:12.000\nus to start delivering experiences like that all the time.\n\n91\n00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:17.790\nI just love that. And, you know, there's so much will that I want to talk about\n\n92\n00:06:17.790 --> 00:06:21.000\non that journey that you had to get to number one.\n\n93\n00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:26.140\nBut first, I'd like to go back to the beginning. You said you wanted to be\n\n94\n00:06:26.140 --> 00:06:30.330\nnumber one, you know, and a lot of times you become what you think you are. And\n\n95\n00:06:30.330 --> 00:06:37.000\nso you had this but tell us how you, you've learned this power of speaking\n\n96\n00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:38.000\nthings into existence.\n\n97\n00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:42.510\nI'm very blessed in a number of ways and one of the reasons why I think I'm the\n\n98\n00:06:42.510 --> 00:06:46.000\nmost blessed is the relationship I have with my dad.\n\n99\n00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:51.190\nMy dad is my hero, my dad, my best friend, my greatest mentor and everything in\n\n100\n00:06:51.190 --> 00:06:56.370\nbetween. And gosh, if by the end of this, I'm sure I will have quoted him many,\n\n101\n00:06:56.370 --> 00:07:01.110\nmany times because he's given me so much of the wisdom that I've carried\n\n102\n00:07:01.110 --> 00:07:02.000\nthrough my career.\n\n103\n00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:06.820\nWhen I was a kid, he gave me a paperweight and on it, it said, what would you\n\n104\n00:07:06.820 --> 00:07:10.000\nattempt to do if you knew you could not fail.\n\n105\n00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:14.110\nAnd he would always challenge me at varying intervals. He still does to this\n\n106\n00:07:14.110 --> 00:07:18.170\nday over the course of my life and my career to ask that question, answer it\n\n107\n00:07:18.170 --> 00:07:19.000\nhonestly.\n\n108\n00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:23.000\nAnd whatever the answer is, no matter how audacious to try to do that.\n\n109\n00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:26.870\nAnd he always says that so many people are scared to say their most audacious\n\n110\n00:07:26.870 --> 00:07:30.670\ngoals out loud for fear that if they do and don't achieve them, they'll let\n\n111\n00:07:30.670 --> 00:07:33.000\nthemselves and those around them down.\n\n112\n00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:36.720\nBut if you don't have that confidence, that conviction to dream your biggest\n\n113\n00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:40.000\ndreams out loud, it's very unlikely you'll ever achieve them.\n\n114\n00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:46.470\nThat's my dad. But I also witnessed it firsthand through my mom who when I was\n\n115\n00:07:46.470 --> 00:07:50.270\nfour, she was diagnosed with brain cancer based on the radiation treatment she\n\n116\n00:07:50.270 --> 00:07:52.000\nreceived throughout the removal of the virus.\n\n117\n00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:56.850\nThroughout the removal of the tumor, she ultimately was rendered into becoming\n\n118\n00:07:56.850 --> 00:07:58.000\na quadriplegic.\n\n119\n00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:03.000\nShe was meant to live maybe until I was 10 or 11.\n\n120\n00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:10.000\nBut my mom was completely determined to see me graduate from college.\n\n121\n00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:17.000\nA decade or more longer than how she was supposed to live.\n\n122\n00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:21.900\nAnd I turned 10 and everyone got nervous and she kept on living 12 kept on\n\n123\n00:08:21.900 --> 00:08:24.000\nliving 14 kept on living.\n\n124\n00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:29.000\nDavid, she passed away five hours after I graduated from college.\n\n125\n00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:30.000\nWow.\n\n126\n00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:33.000\nAnd so like, you know, these things can feel trite.\n\n127\n00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:36.000\nThis idea that you can talk things into existence.\n\n128\n00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:40.420\nIf you believe in something, if you say it out loud often enough, it can come\n\n129\n00:08:40.420 --> 00:08:41.000\ntrue.\n\n130\n00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:45.000\nI mean, listen, people say stuff like this, but.\n\n131\n00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:53.580\nA, I can say with confidence watching her that against all odds, it can be true\n\n132\n00:08:53.580 --> 00:08:54.000\n.\n\n133\n00:08:54.000 --> 00:09:01.000\nAnd I can also say that it certainly will not be true if you don't say it often\n\n134\n00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:03.000\nand if you don't believe enough in yourself.\n\n135\n00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:05.000\nThat's really powerful stuff.\n\n136\n00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:09.000\nAnd, you know, so you do graduate from college.\n\n137\n00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:13.350\nYou go to Cornell and you have this hope of one day owning a restaurant in New\n\n138\n00:09:13.350 --> 00:09:14.000\nYork City.\n\n139\n00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:21.000\nEarly on in your career, what was the failure that you learned the most from?\n\n140\n00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:26.000\nI mean, gosh, I had so many failures along the way to the Madison Park.\n\n141\n00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:31.990\nOne of the things that I will constantly be navigating in terms of my\n\n142\n00:09:31.990 --> 00:09:39.660\npersonality is my OCD tendencies and my desire to control every single little\n\n143\n00:09:39.660 --> 00:09:43.000\ndetail of my environment and ensure that every thing is as per the way.\n\n144\n00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:46.000\nThe thing is as perfect as humanly possible, right?\n\n145\n00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:47.000\nI'm very anal retentive.\n\n146\n00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:48.000\nI'm a perfectionist.\n\n147\n00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:50.000\nThat should come as no surprise.\n\n148\n00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:52.000\nYou don't get a Michelin three star restaurant.\n\n149\n00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:56.180\nIf you aren't maniacal about the details and as controlling as possible and\n\n150\n00:09:56.180 --> 00:09:58.000\nensuring their excellence.\n\n151\n00:09:58.000 --> 00:10:05.210\nAnd yet intellectually and emotionally, I understand that the greatest leaders\n\n152\n00:10:05.210 --> 00:10:11.010\nare those that lead with trust and empower their team and give them the\n\n153\n00:10:11.010 --> 00:10:12.000\nresponsibility that encourages them to be able to help them.\n\n154\n00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:14.000\nAnd that encourages them to become more responsible.\n\n155\n00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:20.050\nThat mission command will always exceed mission control, that setting a goal\n\n156\n00:10:20.050 --> 00:10:23.810\nand then empowering your team to collectively determine the best way to achieve\n\n157\n00:10:23.810 --> 00:10:25.000\nit is right, right?\n\n158\n00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:31.000\nI know that, but there's tension between trust and control.\n\n159\n00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:32.000\nThey're not friends.\n\n160\n00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:37.500\nAnd many times over the course of my career, I fell off that razor sharp line\n\n161\n00:10:37.500 --> 00:10:41.000\nbetween them in one direction or the other.\n\n162\n00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:46.160\nI think the best example is halfway through our evolution at the restaurant, we\n\n163\n00:10:46.160 --> 00:10:52.120\ndebuted this new groundbreaking menu, which was going to be of about and for\n\n164\n00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:53.000\nNew York.\n\n165\n00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:56.000\nEvery ingredient was going to be sourced from New York.\n\n166\n00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:01.000\nEvery course was going to tell a part of the story of the history of New York.\n\n167\n00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:02.000\nAll of that.\n\n168\n00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:07.420\nAnd I became so determined that every guest here, exactly what I wanted them to\n\n169\n00:11:07.420 --> 00:11:12.690\nhear about each course and not a thing more that I ended up writing scripts for\n\n170\n00:11:12.690 --> 00:11:17.000\nthe entire team to memorize in order to describe the food.\n\n171\n00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:22.000\nI made them use my words to describe something.\n\n172\n00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:25.000\nAnd so we debuted the menu as a big deal.\n\n173\n00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:35.000\nThe New York Times Food Critic came that same day, dined with us. I was hiding\n\n174\n00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:35.000\nin the barista station watching him because the New York Times Food Critic, you\n\n175\n00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:35.000\n're never supposed to watch them, but everyone does.\n\n176\n00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:37.000\nIt's this big cat mouse game.\n\n177\n00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:40.000\nI think we nailed every single detail.\n\n178\n00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:42.000\nWe got it all just perfect on his way out the door.\n\n179\n00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:44.000\nHe actually looked at me.\n\n180\n00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:46.000\nWe locked eyes that never happens.\n\n181\n00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:49.000\nI took it as a sign that we crushed it.\n\n182\n00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:52.000\nA couple days later, an article came out.\n\n183\n00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:54.000\nIt wasn't a formal review.\n\n184\n00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:56.000\nIt was a warning shot.\n\n185\n00:11:56.000 --> 00:12:01.130\nAnd he said at the New York Medicine Park, the words fail the food and went on\n\n186\n00:12:01.130 --> 00:12:06.350\nto talk about how the team at 11 Madison Park so famously human and always\n\n187\n00:12:06.350 --> 00:12:11.750\ncapable of bringing their most fully realized selves to the table sounded like\n\n188\n00:12:11.750 --> 00:12:14.000\nactors and the best line.\n\n189\n00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:20.000\nHe felt like the entire meal felt like a seder hosted by Presbyterians.\n\n190\n00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:24.000\nWe had put all of this work into making this meal perfectly.\n\n191\n00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:29.140\nAnd then me, the leader of a restaurant that had 160 people working at it\n\n192\n00:12:29.140 --> 00:12:33.000\nthrough a decision I made, I messed it all up.\n\n193\n00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:39.970\nMessed it up because one, I was doing things that went against the very core\n\n194\n00:12:39.970 --> 00:12:45.190\nvalues I told everyone on the team I believed in, that I trusted them to be\n\n195\n00:12:45.190 --> 00:12:46.000\nthemselves.\n\n196\n00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:53.060\nAnd that, well, instead of allowing them to be themselves, I made them into\n\n197\n00:12:53.060 --> 00:12:56.490\nactors, rehearsing, or reciting a script that someone else had written on their\n\n198\n00:12:56.490 --> 00:12:57.000\nbehalf.\n\n199\n00:12:57.000 --> 00:13:05.000\nThat was a hard moment, although it gave way to incredible season.\n\n200\n00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:09.810\nListen, what I think a lot of leaders do when they make a mistake is that\n\n201\n00:13:09.810 --> 00:13:15.210\nleaders have this expectation that their teams want them to be perfect or think\n\n202\n00:13:15.210 --> 00:13:19.000\nthat they are perfect, which could not be further from the truth.\n\n203\n00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:22.940\nHuman beings are inherently imperfect and any person that pretends to be\n\n204\n00:13:22.940 --> 00:13:27.060\nperfect has an inability to fully gain the trust of those around them because\n\n205\n00:13:27.060 --> 00:13:30.000\nit's clear that they're not telling the whole story.\n\n206\n00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:33.860\nAnd too many leaders, when they make a mistake, think that if they just pretend\n\n207\n00:13:33.860 --> 00:13:38.000\nit didn't happen, the people won't notice it did and they'll forget about it.\n\n208\n00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:42.100\nBut every time a leader makes a big mistake and doesn't own up to that mistake,\n\n209\n00:13:42.100 --> 00:13:48.100\nthe trust that they so desperately need from their team slowly and consistently\n\n210\n00:13:48.100 --> 00:13:49.000\nerodes.\n\n211\n00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:53.660\nAnd after that happened, I called an all-staff meeting instead in front of 180\n\n212\n00:13:53.660 --> 00:13:59.000\npeople and apologized and said that I messed up, that was my fault.\n\n213\n00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:02.130\nAnd I was going to make many more mistakes in the future, but I was going to\n\n214\n00:14:02.130 --> 00:14:04.000\ntry never to make that mistake again.\n\n215\n00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:10.340\nYou've got this OCD quality, this you like to control, like that can easily get\n\n216\n00:14:10.340 --> 00:14:12.000\nin the wood will.\n\n217\n00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:19.000\nOkay. How do you catch yourself when you see that creeping back in?\n\n218\n00:14:19.000 --> 00:14:25.860\nI think the best answer is that I've learned not to rely on just me to catch\n\n219\n00:14:25.860 --> 00:14:27.000\nmyself.\n\n220\n00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:31.050\nI talk in the book about a woman who worked for me for a really long time named\n\n221\n00:14:31.050 --> 00:14:35.000\nLaura Wagstaff, who worked for me for 15 or so years.\n\n222\n00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:40.820\nAnd she was the first person who played this role in my life, but I ended up\n\n223\n00:14:40.820 --> 00:14:46.700\nempowering people either very, very specifically, like in words, I give you\n\n224\n00:14:46.700 --> 00:14:52.040\npermission to do this, or just organically through building a strong enough\n\n225\n00:14:52.040 --> 00:14:55.000\nrelationship with them that they felt comfortable to do so.\n\n226\n00:14:55.000 --> 00:15:01.000\nTo call me out before I had the wherewithal to recognize it myself.\n\n227\n00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:09.140\nI think to be great, you need to have people around you that aren't scared to\n\n228\n00:15:09.140 --> 00:15:12.000\ntell you when you are going astray.\n\n229\n00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:18.030\nAnd for me, that could be when I'm getting overly ambitious and setting\n\n230\n00:15:18.030 --> 00:15:20.000\nunrealistic goals.\n\n231\n00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:24.270\nThat could be where my desire to trust is being overwhelmed by my desire to\n\n232\n00:15:24.270 --> 00:15:25.000\ncontrol.\n\n233\n00:15:25.000 --> 00:15:28.000\nThat could be a whole host of issues.\n\n234\n00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:32.580\nBut listen, no matter what you do, if you believe in hospitality, you need to\n\n235\n00:15:32.580 --> 00:15:35.000\nrecognize that it's a team sport, right?\n\n236\n00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:39.810\nIt doesn't matter how hospitable any one individual it is. It's the hospitality\n\n237\n00:15:39.810 --> 00:15:42.000\nof every person on the team that defines your success.\n\n238\n00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:46.290\nAnd if you agree that it's a team sport, then you need to play the game like\n\n239\n00:15:46.290 --> 00:15:52.000\nyou're a part of the team, not that you're some solo artist there.\n\n240\n00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:58.400\nWhen you lead a team, it doesn't mean that people on the team don't get to lead\n\n241\n00:15:58.400 --> 00:16:00.000\nyou sometimes.\n\n242\n00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:03.850\nGreat leaders know when to follow and that only happens if you create the kind\n\n243\n00:16:03.850 --> 00:16:07.870\nof relationships where people can trust them the fact that they can call you\n\n244\n00:16:07.870 --> 00:16:09.000\nout.\n\n245\n00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:12.000\nAnd that's something that you'll appreciate.\n\n246\n00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:15.000\nWe all need those truth tellers out there.\n\n247\n00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:20.590\nI've heard you say, pick the person you want to work for, not the company you\n\n248\n00:16:20.590 --> 00:16:22.000\nwant to work for.\n\n249\n00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:24.000\nWhy do you give that advice?\n\n250\n00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:28.860\nListen, I think mentorship is everything. I don't think you're ever too young\n\n251\n00:16:28.860 --> 00:16:33.000\nto be a mentor. I don't think you're ever too old to have a mentor.\n\n252\n00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:38.720\nI think we all need to be and have mentors in order to grow to our fullest\n\n253\n00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:40.000\npotential.\n\n254\n00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:46.120\nAnd especially, I say that the most often to kids that are just getting into\n\n255\n00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:47.000\ntheir careers, right?\n\n256\n00:16:47.000 --> 00:16:50.270\nBecause you graduate from school and depending on what industry you're in, you\n\n257\n00:16:50.270 --> 00:16:52.000\neither want to work for Apple\n\n258\n00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:57.000\nor you want to work for Nike or whatever the top performing company is.\n\n259\n00:16:57.000 --> 00:17:02.030\nBut when you work for a great company, I don't care how good the company is,\n\n260\n00:17:02.030 --> 00:17:05.000\nthere are great people and there are less great people.\n\n261\n00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:09.480\nAnd if you work for a mediocre leader in a great company, you are going to\n\n262\n00:17:09.480 --> 00:17:12.000\nreceive that mediocre leadership.\n\n263\n00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:17.260\nI would always rather work for a great leader at a mediocre company than a\n\n264\n00:17:17.260 --> 00:17:19.000\nmediocre leader at a great company.\n\n265\n00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:23.590\nBecause that is the person who is going to teach you, inspire you and guide\n\n266\n00:17:23.590 --> 00:17:25.000\nyour development.\n\n267\n00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:31.880\nLet's fast forward to 2011 and you buy 11 Madison Park from your mentor who was\n\n268\n00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:33.000\nDanny Meyer.\n\n269\n00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:39.000\nWalk us through that moment. What was it that made you say, \"Okay, it's time?\"\n\n270\n00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:42.000\nI mean, in part it was circumstantial.\n\n271\n00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:46.000\nI had been approached to open my own restaurant down the street as a part of\n\n272\n00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:50.000\nthis big new hotel and it was going to be a very big deal in the city.\n\n273\n00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:53.000\nAnd this was my moment to become an entrepreneur.\n\n274\n00:17:53.000 --> 00:17:56.990\nYet at the same time, I had not finished the work I was trying to do at 11\n\n275\n00:17:56.990 --> 00:17:58.000\nMadison Park.\n\n276\n00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:00.000\nWe weren't even close to number one at that point.\n\n277\n00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.000\nAnd I put a lot of work into that restaurant. I wasn't ready to let it go.\n\n278\n00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:07.570\nAnd so I approached Danny and said, \"Hey, I'd love to open my own restaurant\n\n279\n00:18:07.570 --> 00:18:10.000\nover there and continue working with you here.\"\n\n280\n00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:13.000\nI believed that I could do both.\n\n281\n00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:16.000\nAnd he said, \"No.\"\n\n282\n00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:24.210\nWhich I get now. He explained it then that being partners in one restaurant and\n\n283\n00:18:24.210 --> 00:18:29.000\ncompetitors in another just down the street would open us up to more attention\n\n284\n00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:31.000\nthan our relationship needed to bear.\n\n285\n00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:34.750\nAnd I said, \"Well, listen, I don't want to leave this restaurant, but I'm ready\n\n286\n00:18:34.750 --> 00:18:36.000\nto be an entrepreneur.\n\n287\n00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:40.120\nAnd so if that's the case, I love you, but I'm going to leave and I'm going to\n\n288\n00:18:40.120 --> 00:18:41.000\ngo do that.\"\n\n289\n00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:45.000\nAnd he said, \"How about you buy the restaurant instead?\"\n\n290\n00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:49.240\nBecause he believed in the spirit of what we were trying to do and understood\n\n291\n00:18:49.240 --> 00:18:53.050\nthat the restaurant accomplishing its goals was more important than if he owned\n\n292\n00:18:53.050 --> 00:18:54.000\nit when it did.\n\n293\n00:18:54.000 --> 00:19:01.820\nNow, why I said yes when he offered me the chance to do that is a totally\n\n294\n00:19:01.820 --> 00:19:05.000\ndifferent story because David, I had no idea what I was doing.\n\n295\n00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.000\nI was an employee up until that point.\n\n296\n00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:12.350\nI didn't know anything about securing debt or raising money or setting up human\n\n297\n00:19:12.350 --> 00:19:17.860\nresources departments or financial departments looking into accounting and all\n\n298\n00:19:17.860 --> 00:19:20.000\nthat everything was new to me.\n\n299\n00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:25.000\nBut I said yes and trusted in the fact that I'd figure it out along the way.\n\n300\n00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:31.000\nI think that's something that so many people early in their careers don't do.\n\n301\n00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:36.900\nThey think about all that they need to know and become so overwhelmed by it\n\n302\n00:19:36.900 --> 00:19:40.000\nthat they never just give it a shot.\n\n303\n00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:43.980\nI talk about this all the time that nobody knows what they're doing until they\n\n304\n00:19:43.980 --> 00:19:45.000\nstart doing it.\n\n305\n00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:50.230\nAnd if you want to be an entrepreneur, you just need to believe in the fact\n\n306\n00:19:50.230 --> 00:19:53.000\nthat you're going to make a ton of mistakes.\n\n307\n00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:57.520\nAnd the path that Danny would always say, the path to success is paved with\n\n308\n00:19:57.520 --> 00:19:59.000\nmistakes well handled.\n\n309\n00:19:59.000 --> 00:20:03.000\nAnd that you're going to work your ass off and figure it out along the way.\n\n310\n00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:07.190\nWhen did you first believe you had it in you to become the number one\n\n311\n00:20:07.190 --> 00:20:09.000\nrestaurant in the world?\n\n312\n00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:12.000\nI mean, I think that's something about youthful exuberance.\n\n313\n00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:16.160\nWe debuted on the list of the 50 best restaurants in the world in last place at\n\n314\n00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:18.000\nnumber 50.\n\n315\n00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:27.810\nAnd the anger I felt coming in last place fueled my conviction to come in first\n\n316\n00:20:27.810 --> 00:20:28.000\n.\n\n317\n00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:32.330\nAnd that night I decided that we would become number one and I believed it with\n\n318\n00:20:32.330 --> 00:20:34.000\nevery ounce of my being.\n\n319\n00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:38.000\nI was young, much younger than I am now when we began that process.\n\n320\n00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:42.000\nI mean, this was 14 years ago.\n\n321\n00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:44.000\nBut it goes right back to what we started this conversation around.\n\n322\n00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:47.000\nYou need to believe in the fact that you can talk things into existence.\n\n323\n00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:50.250\nAnd honestly, maybe the first time I said it, I didn't totally believe it, but\n\n324\n00:20:50.250 --> 00:20:52.000\nthe 20th time I said it,\n\n325\n00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:55.000\nI started believing it and the 100th time I said it, I completely believed it.\n\n326\n00:20:55.000 --> 00:21:01.000\nWhat was it that you decided in your journey to being number one?\n\n327\n00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:05.270\nWhat was it that you decided you were going to be famous for that no one else\n\n328\n00:21:05.270 --> 00:21:06.000\ncould do?\n\n329\n00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:10.000\nWell, that's exactly it. Unreasonable hospitality.\n\n330\n00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:12.000\nI believe a lot in superpowers.\n\n331\n00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:17.400\nI think it's important to look at yourself and have the vulnerability to say\n\n332\n00:21:17.400 --> 00:21:19.000\nout loud what you're great at.\n\n333\n00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:26.000\nI think a lot of people think that when you say out loud to those around you\n\n334\n00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:27.000\nwhat your superpowers are,\n\n335\n00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:29.000\nthat it's a display of cockiness.\n\n336\n00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:31.690\nI actually believe it's a display of humility because the moment you say to a\n\n337\n00:21:31.690 --> 00:21:32.000\ngroup,\n\n338\n00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:35.000\n\"I'm really good at this. You're inviting everyone around you to say,\n\n339\n00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:37.000\n\"Wait a minute, really? Are you?\"\n\n340\n00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:40.190\nWhen I looked at the restaurants that had become number one before us, they\n\n341\n00:21:40.190 --> 00:21:41.000\nwere all run by chefs.\n\n342\n00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:43.000\nI was the dining room guy.\n\n343\n00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:47.970\nI was the one that derived significant and genuine pleasure out of bestowing\n\n344\n00:21:47.970 --> 00:21:50.000\ngraciousness upon others.\n\n345\n00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.030\nIf they made their mark through the product, I knew that I could make my mark\n\n346\n00:21:54.030 --> 00:21:56.000\nthrough how I made people feel.\n\n347\n00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:58.000\nThat was my unique skill.\n\n348\n00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:04.160\nAnd the path to number one was just being as unreasonable in pursuit of that as\n\n349\n00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:07.000\nall of them were in pursuit of the food.\n\n350\n00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:10.000\nTell us about your dream-weaver role.\n\n351\n00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:16.600\nSo after the hot dog story, after that happened, athletes always go to the\n\n352\n00:22:16.600 --> 00:22:18.000\ntapes and they've had a bad game\n\n353\n00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:19.000\nto see what they did wrong.\n\n354\n00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:21.420\nThey don't often enough go to the tapes and they've had a good game to see what\n\n355\n00:22:21.420 --> 00:22:24.000\nthey did right to make sure they keep on doing that thing.\n\n356\n00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:27.930\nI went to the tapes and there were three things that went into that hot dog\n\n357\n00:22:27.930 --> 00:22:29.000\nmoment happening.\n\n358\n00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:35.090\nI needed to be present to be fully focused on that table such that I could pick\n\n359\n00:22:35.090 --> 00:22:36.000\nup on that cue.\n\n360\n00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:37.000\nThat's one.\n\n361\n00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:40.420\nNumber two, if you want to be the best, you better take what you're doing\n\n362\n00:22:40.420 --> 00:22:45.000\nseriously, but also you need to stop taking yourself so seriously.\n\n363\n00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:48.240\nI think far too many people, especially in customer service, let's self-enpost\n\n364\n00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:51.670\nstandards get in the way of them giving the people around them the things that\n\n365\n00:22:51.670 --> 00:22:53.000\nwill bring them the most joy.\n\n366\n00:22:53.000 --> 00:23:01.500\nAnd three, it was centered on this idea that hospitality is about making people\n\n367\n00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:05.000\nfeel seen and the best way to do that is not to treat them like commodities\n\n368\n00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.670\nbut unique individuals that the most significant gestures are bespoke to the\n\n369\n00:23:09.670 --> 00:23:12.000\nperson receiving those gestures.\n\n370\n00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:16.000\nI would say that unreasonable hospitality, one size fits one.\n\n371\n00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:20.360\nSo we had this hot dog as our new true north, being present, don't take\n\n372\n00:23:20.360 --> 00:23:24.000\nyourself too seriously, one size fits one, that was the road map.\n\n373\n00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:25.000\nAnd then it was the team.\n\n374\n00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:32.580\nI gave them permission and resources to go out into the dining room and come up\n\n375\n00:23:32.580 --> 00:23:34.000\nwith gestures of their own.\n\n376\n00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:38.000\nNow, that said, I'm going to land the plane on this answer momentarily.\n\n377\n00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:41.910\nToo many leaders make the mistake of coming up with great ideas, giving their\n\n378\n00:23:41.910 --> 00:23:46.380\nteam permission to do something, but not following up those ideas or those\n\n379\n00:23:46.380 --> 00:23:51.120\npermissions with the resources that make them actionable, that make them easy\n\n380\n00:23:51.120 --> 00:23:53.000\nenough for their team to deploy.\n\n381\n00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:57.390\nAnd we didn't have someone just sitting around in the restaurant waiting to go\n\n382\n00:23:57.390 --> 00:23:59.000\nrun errands for people.\n\n383\n00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:02.390\nAnd so we added the position, the dream waiver, whose only role was to be there\n\n384\n00:24:02.390 --> 00:24:07.140\nevery night during dinner service to help everyone else on the team bring their\n\n385\n00:24:07.140 --> 00:24:08.000\nideas to life.\n\n386\n00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:12.940\nAnd the creative agency of the people in the dining room matched with the\n\n387\n00:24:12.940 --> 00:24:17.880\ncapacity of the dream waiver created the kind of gestures that came to be known\n\n388\n00:24:17.880 --> 00:24:20.000\nas legends within our industry.\n\n389\n00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:23.000\nTell us about your one inch rule.\n\n390\n00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:27.880\nThe one inch rule means that if you're going to do something, anything, follow\n\n391\n00:24:27.880 --> 00:24:32.630\nit through till the final inch that you're not done with anything until you're\n\n392\n00:24:32.630 --> 00:24:35.000\ncompletely done with that thing.\n\n393\n00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.230\nIt's called a one inch rule in the restaurant, because we pick a lot of stuff\n\n394\n00:24:39.230 --> 00:24:43.030\nup and we put a lot of stuff down and you can agonize over a plate of food\n\n395\n00:24:43.030 --> 00:24:44.000\nforever.\n\n396\n00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:48.630\nBut if the person delivering it to the table loses focus when that plate is one\n\n397\n00:24:48.630 --> 00:24:53.180\ninch away from the table and they drop it a little too hard, that perfectly\n\n398\n00:24:53.180 --> 00:24:58.130\nplaced garnish can stumble off and will undo hours and hours and hours of\n\n399\n00:24:58.130 --> 00:25:00.000\neffort to make it perfect.\n\n400\n00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.510\nBut it's also a philosophical ideal that whatever you do, you need to be fully\n\n401\n00:25:04.510 --> 00:25:08.780\nfocused on that thing until you're completely done with it and before you\n\n402\n00:25:08.780 --> 00:25:11.000\nchoose to move on to the next thing.\n\n403\n00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:15.680\nI think there's this flawed belief system out there that multitasking is the\n\n404\n00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:18.000\nmost efficient approach to take.\n\n405\n00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:23.170\nIn fact, I believe focusing on one thing at a time is much more efficient, not\n\n406\n00:25:23.170 --> 00:25:28.010\nonly in our ability to emotionally connect with others, but also to get our\n\n407\n00:25:28.010 --> 00:25:29.000\ndetails as a result.\n\n408\n00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:33.000\nIs it possible to get your details as excellent as humanly possible?\n\n409\n00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:38.120\nYou know, you're kind of like a coach in the sense of, you know, coach before\n\n410\n00:25:38.120 --> 00:25:39.000\nthe game.\n\n411\n00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:44.660\nIt has this, you know, pregame motivational speech and you actually set up pre\n\n412\n00:25:44.660 --> 00:25:49.860\nmeal meetings with your team and you've really viewed those pre meal meetings\n\n413\n00:25:49.860 --> 00:25:52.000\nas a real game changer.\n\n414\n00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:57.000\nWalk me through what you do in one of those meetings and the intent behind it.\n\n415\n00:25:57.000 --> 00:26:00.380\nAnd those of you who haven't worked in restaurants is the 30 minute meeting\n\n416\n00:26:00.380 --> 00:26:03.680\nthat we have most restaurants do it right before we unlock the doors and start\n\n417\n00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:05.000\nserving people dinner.\n\n418\n00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:08.000\nMost restaurants do it. Unfortunately, a lot of them waste it.\n\n419\n00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:12.370\nThey waste it by talking about things that could be so clearly communicated via\n\n420\n00:26:12.370 --> 00:26:16.000\nan email and new menu item, a new one by the glass, whatever.\n\n421\n00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:22.130\nI believe that meeting, that daily huddle should be where you talk about the\n\n422\n00:26:22.130 --> 00:26:25.000\nwhy and the how just as much, if not more than the what.\n\n423\n00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:28.120\nIt's an opportunity for a leader to share moments of inspiration, things that\n\n424\n00:26:28.120 --> 00:26:31.060\nthey've seen out in the world that they've been touched by that they want to\n\n425\n00:26:31.060 --> 00:26:35.630\nshare with the people that work for them and also an opportunity for that same\n\n426\n00:26:35.630 --> 00:26:38.000\nleader to invite the people on their team to do the same.\n\n427\n00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:42.130\nI think a pre meal a daily huddle is wasted if a leader only talks about things\n\n428\n00:26:42.130 --> 00:26:45.000\nthat will make their team better at their jobs.\n\n429\n00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.180\nThat's an opportunity to talk to your team about things that will make them\n\n430\n00:26:49.180 --> 00:26:52.000\nbetter as people in life beyond just the work.\n\n431\n00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:56.000\nGive me a story that you used to inspire your team to get going.\n\n432\n00:26:56.000 --> 00:27:00.000\nI mean, it could be anything, man.\n\n433\n00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:05.670\nIf I were doing a pre meal, so I'll tell you one right now, I've started a\n\n434\n00:27:05.670 --> 00:27:09.000\nnewsletter called \"Premill\" because I miss \"Premill\".\n\n435\n00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:12.890\nNow, every two weeks I send out a virtual pre meal through a newsletter and I\n\n436\n00:27:12.890 --> 00:27:15.000\nwas just working on one a moment ago.\n\n437\n00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:23.220\nI was there with my kid and when you're a parent and you're shopping with your\n\n438\n00:27:23.220 --> 00:27:27.000\nkid, it can be a very emotionally traumatic experience, right?\n\n439\n00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:31.970\nYou have your list to get through and your kid just wants every single dessert\n\n440\n00:27:31.970 --> 00:27:34.000\non the shelves and they don't want to be there.\n\n441\n00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:39.290\nSo when a trader jows actually had the capacity to look through the lens of\n\n442\n00:27:39.290 --> 00:27:44.460\nsingle parents at the grocery store with their kids for long enough to address\n\n443\n00:27:44.460 --> 00:27:47.000\nthat moment with graciousness and hospitality.\n\n444\n00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:51.940\nAnd at every trader jows, there's a couple stuffed animals hidden in the store,\n\n445\n00:27:51.940 --> 00:27:55.000\nnot within arm's rank, but they're around the store.\n\n446\n00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.050\nAnd if a kid finds one of those stuffed animals, when they get to the cashier,\n\n447\n00:27:59.050 --> 00:28:02.870\nthey tell the cashier and the cashier gives them a sweet treat out of this\n\n448\n00:28:02.870 --> 00:28:05.000\ntreasure chest is what they call it.\n\n449\n00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.000\nThey did some simple pattern recognition at Trader Joe's.\n\n450\n00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:12.980\nThey identified that this was a recurring moment, a nagging problem for some of\n\n451\n00:28:12.980 --> 00:28:15.000\ntheir customers and they treated it.\n\n452\n00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.820\nThey addressed it with creativity, playfulness, intention, ingenuity and made\n\n453\n00:28:19.820 --> 00:28:24.000\nthe experience for the parents and the kids so much better for it to the point\n\n454\n00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:24.000\nthat they had to do.\n\n455\n00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:28.010\nAnd so when they get to the grocery store, they're going to get to the grocery\n\n456\n00:28:28.010 --> 00:28:31.000\nstore and they're going to get to the grocery store.\n\n457\n00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:35.740\nAnd they're going to get to the grocery store and they're going to get to the\n\n458\n00:28:35.740 --> 00:28:37.000\ngrocery store.\n\n459\n00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:41.740\nAnd they're going to get to the grocery store and they're going to get to the\n\n460\n00:28:41.740 --> 00:28:43.000\ngrocery store.\n\n461\n00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:46.940\nAnd they're going to get to the grocery store and they're going to get to the\n\n462\n00:28:46.940 --> 00:28:48.000\ngrocery store.\n\n463\n00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:51.950\nAnd they're going to get to the grocery store and they're going to get to the\n\n464\n00:28:51.950 --> 00:28:53.000\ngrocery store.\n\n465\n00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:59.000\nWe'll be back with the rest of my conversation with Will Gadera in just a\n\n466\n00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:00.000\nmoment.\n\n467\n00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:05.990\nAll this talk about service has me thinking about Alan Mulally, the former CEO\n\n468\n00:29:05.990 --> 00:29:07.000\nof Ford.\n\n469\n00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:10.000\nIn his words, the purpose of life is to serve.\n\n470\n00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:16.000\nAnd when you live that way, it changes everything about how you lead.\n\n471\n00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:23.000\nAnd I would really focus on serving. I mean, it's the ultimate in living is to\n\n472\n00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:23.000\nserve.\n\n473\n00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:25.000\nAnd you can serve everywhere in your life.\n\n474\n00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:28.940\nAnd once you decide you want to serve, then you start thinking about yourself\n\n475\n00:29:28.940 --> 00:29:31.000\non how you do that too.\n\n476\n00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:34.000\nAnd you also ask for advice on how you can serve.\n\n477\n00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:37.000\nSo back to your lifelong learning and continuous improvement.\n\n478\n00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:39.000\nYou start thinking about this all the time.\n\n479\n00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:42.000\nYou start gathering feedback in a positive way.\n\n480\n00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:45.000\nYou start asking people, \"What can I do?\"\n\n481\n00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.000\n\"Whatever your job is, what can I do to help more? Be more effective?\"\n\n482\n00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:53.590\nBut the thing that allows you to do that is if you have decided that the\n\n483\n00:29:53.590 --> 00:29:56.000\npurpose of your life is to serve.\n\n484\n00:29:56.000 --> 00:30:01.000\nAnd then when you move to the greater good, wow.\n\n485\n00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:06.000\nI mean, this is all about human dignity, human beings, humanity.\n\n486\n00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:11.000\nSo great question. And it would be service.\n\n487\n00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:16.120\nAnd then everything that would go into that, including your lifelong continuous\n\n488\n00:30:16.120 --> 00:30:18.000\nimprovement to serve at the highest level.\n\n489\n00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:24.870\nGo back and listen to my entire conversation with Alan, episode 146, here on\n\n490\n00:30:24.870 --> 00:30:26.000\nHow Leaders Lead.\n\n491\n00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:34.340\nYou've got to get your team excited about going to work when you do these\n\n492\n00:30:34.340 --> 00:30:37.000\npremium meetings.\n\n493\n00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:42.000\nHow do you as a leader get yourself up so that you can go into that meeting\n\n494\n00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:45.000\nand have the right attitude that you're going to need to have?\n\n495\n00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.000\nI mean, I'm inherently passionate about the work.\n\n496\n00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:52.000\nSo I never need to get myself fired up about the work.\n\n497\n00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:55.000\nI just need to make sure that my gas tank is full.\n\n498\n00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:58.000\nIf my gas tank is full, I will be ready to do the work.\n\n499\n00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:01.000\nAnd we talk about this in hospitality all the time, right?\n\n500\n00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:05.580\nLike if you are in the business of serving others, think of it like a metaph\n\n501\n00:31:05.580 --> 00:31:07.000\norical water pitcher.\n\n502\n00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:11.000\nYou can't constantly pour water out of your pitcher into other people's glasses\n\n503\n00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:11.000\n.\n\n504\n00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:14.030\nIf you don't figure out how to refill your pitcher, you're going to run out of\n\n505\n00:31:14.030 --> 00:31:15.000\nwater very quickly.\n\n506\n00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:20.440\nAnd so from different people find their oxygen or their gas or their water in\n\n507\n00:31:20.440 --> 00:31:21.000\ndifferent ways.\n\n508\n00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:27.000\nFor me, I like a little time alone at home ordering takeout Chinese food\n\n509\n00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:32.280\nand binge watching terrible television. If I can give myself that every once in\n\n510\n00:31:32.280 --> 00:31:33.000\na while,\n\n511\n00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:35.000\nthat's enough to keep me in the game.\n\n512\n00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:38.000\nI think it's something that a lot of people don't do well.\n\n513\n00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:44.000\nYoung leaders, they think that success is determined only by their output.\n\n514\n00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:48.690\nAnd they start to burn out pretty quickly because they don't remember that they\n\n515\n00:31:48.690 --> 00:31:49.000\nneed to feed themselves\n\n516\n00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:52.000\nif they want to turn around and feed others.\n\n517\n00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:56.950\nYou know, why do you make such a big deal about continual teaching and learning\n\n518\n00:31:56.950 --> 00:31:58.000\nwith your team?\n\n519\n00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:02.770\nBecause this seems to be a major, major driver in how you think about working\n\n520\n00:32:02.770 --> 00:32:05.000\nwith your teammates.\n\n521\n00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.650\nYou know, I'd always say that we're not out there saving lives, but that doesn\n\n522\n00:32:09.650 --> 00:32:12.000\n't mean that our work doesn't matter.\n\n523\n00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:16.000\nI believe that what we do for a living really does matter.\n\n524\n00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:19.000\nWe can impact people in the most beautiful ways.\n\n525\n00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:20.000\nWe can help them celebrate.\n\n526\n00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:22.000\nWe can give them the grace to forget.\n\n527\n00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:25.200\nWe can inspire kindness in the world by being really kind to everyone that\n\n528\n00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:26.000\ncomes through our doors.\n\n529\n00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:33.000\nBut I think that if you want to be great, you need to make sure that the extent\n\n530\n00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:35.000\nto which you're impacting the people on your team\n\n531\n00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:40.970\nis as if not more significant than the ways in which you're impacting your\n\n532\n00:32:40.970 --> 00:32:42.000\ncustomers.\n\n533\n00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:48.560\nAnd so I've always believed that if you come to work for me, the only way that\n\n534\n00:32:48.560 --> 00:32:52.000\nI can keep the value proposition intact\n\n535\n00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:57.500\nis if I ensure that you are leaving a better person than you came, more\n\n536\n00:32:57.500 --> 00:33:01.000\neducated, more mature, more professional, all of that.\n\n537\n00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:03.000\nAnd so I think education does everything.\n\n538\n00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:06.000\nYou said appropriately that I've always focused on teaching and learning\n\n539\n00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:09.000\nbecause what I don't mean when I say that\n\n540\n00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:12.600\nis that it's one or two people at the top of the hierarchy's role to teach\n\n541\n00:33:12.600 --> 00:33:14.000\neveryone everything.\n\n542\n00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:18.220\nI think it's their role to create a culture of teaching and learning where\n\n543\n00:33:18.220 --> 00:33:20.000\npeople are expected to learn first,\n\n544\n00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:23.900\nbut then find something they're passionate about and turn around and teach it\n\n545\n00:33:23.900 --> 00:33:25.000\nto everyone else.\n\n546\n00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:27.000\nKnowledge is like a bank account.\n\n547\n00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:31.110\nIf only a couple people are making deposits and everyone's making withdrawals,\n\n548\n00:33:31.110 --> 00:33:33.000\nyou're going to run out of money real fast.\n\n549\n00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:37.150\nBut if you have an entire company of people learning and teaching one another\n\n550\n00:33:37.150 --> 00:33:43.000\nconstantly, the extent to which you grow together is limitless.\n\n551\n00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:49.000\nYou know, feedback is also a great opportunity to invest in your people.\n\n552\n00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:53.000\nLet's say I'm working for you and I don't meet your high standards.\n\n553\n00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:56.980\nYou know, how would you give me the gift of feedback so that I would not only\n\n554\n00:33:56.980 --> 00:34:01.000\nhear what you had to say, I want to do something about it?\n\n555\n00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:04.000\nI have rules for feedback.\n\n556\n00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:06.000\nOne, give it consistently.\n\n557\n00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:08.920\nIf something's important to you, every time someone falls short of that\n\n558\n00:34:08.920 --> 00:34:11.000\nexpectation, it needs to be addressed.\n\n559\n00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:17.000\nYou can't be looked at as the person that only gives constructive criticism\n\n560\n00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:20.490\nwhen you're in a bad mood because then people misinterpret what you're actually\n\n561\n00:34:20.490 --> 00:34:21.000\ntrying to convey.\n\n562\n00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:25.000\nTwo, criticize the behavior, not the person.\n\n563\n00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:32.930\nIf you come in with a wrinkled shirt and when I tell you to go back into the\n\n564\n00:34:32.930 --> 00:34:37.000\nlocker room and iron your shirt, I call you a jerk along the way.\n\n565\n00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:41.000\nWell, I've just completely gone against everything I believe in, right?\n\n566\n00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:42.000\nBecause you're a great guy.\n\n567\n00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:44.000\nYou just need to fix the behavior.\n\n568\n00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:47.700\nAnd if I don't think you're a good person anymore, you shouldn't be on the team\n\n569\n00:34:47.700 --> 00:34:48.000\n.\n\n570\n00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:52.000\nThree, criticizing private, not in public.\n\n571\n00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:56.430\nFeedback, like any form of communication, only fully lands when people's guards\n\n572\n00:34:56.430 --> 00:34:58.000\nare down and they're open to receiving it.\n\n573\n00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:02.430\nThe moment you criticize someone publicly, a wall of shame goes up and they're\n\n574\n00:35:02.430 --> 00:35:05.000\nnever going to fully receive the message you're trying to deliver.\n\n575\n00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.070\nHow do you do that in a hustle-bustle environment of a restaurant where things\n\n576\n00:35:09.070 --> 00:35:11.000\nare happening and you see this?\n\n577\n00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:14.000\nI mean, how do you have that private moment?\n\n578\n00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:18.190\nWell, I think you can address things succinctly in one moment and then more at\n\n579\n00:35:18.190 --> 00:35:20.000\nlength at the end of the night.\n\n580\n00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.000\nThe more feedback you give, the more normalized it becomes.\n\n581\n00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:30.570\nI think it's only those that don't give a lot of feedback who find themselves\n\n582\n00:35:30.570 --> 00:35:34.660\nin a situation where it's such a big deal when you give feedback that it needs\n\n583\n00:35:34.660 --> 00:35:37.000\nto become this whole lengthy conversation.\n\n584\n00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:42.510\nIf I'm constantly praising you and criticizing you, each one of those doses of\n\n585\n00:35:42.510 --> 00:35:46.000\nfeedback could be as short as a three-second conversation.\n\n586\n00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:51.000\nI can just pull you aside and whisper into your ear, \"Hey, you did that wrong.\n\n587\n00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:53.000\nHey, great job. You did that right.\"\n\n588\n00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:59.000\nThe more you do it, the less of a thing it has to be when you do it.\n\n589\n00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:05.400\nYou seem like a pretty chilled out guy and I'm curious, have you ever lost it\n\n590\n00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:09.000\nwhen you're trying to get somebody's attention?\n\n591\n00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:10.000\n100%.\n\n592\n00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:11.000\nYes.\n\n593\n00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:15.000\nAnd I've lost it with and without intention.\n\n594\n00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:18.400\nWhen I say without intention, there's times when I've started yelling about\n\n595\n00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:22.490\nsomething where I probably inadvertently did start to criticize the bahorson\n\n596\n00:36:22.490 --> 00:36:24.000\ninstead of the behavior.\n\n597\n00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:28.720\nIn those cases, I always try to come in the next day and apologize, not for the\n\n598\n00:36:28.720 --> 00:36:33.000\nmessage I was trying to deliver, but the way in which I delivered it.\n\n599\n00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:38.470\nThat said, there's times when I've yelled on purpose and I believe, \"Well, you\n\n600\n00:36:38.470 --> 00:36:43.490\nknow what? You said lost it. So I'm going to be really specific with my answer\n\n601\n00:36:43.490 --> 00:36:44.000\nhere.\n\n602\n00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:49.100\nI think that you can raise your voice without losing control of your emotions.\n\n603\n00:36:49.100 --> 00:36:52.000\nAnd sometimes I think that's necessary.\n\n604\n00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:55.730\nEveryone's read this book, \"The Love Languages,\" right? The five love languages\n\n605\n00:36:55.730 --> 00:36:59.230\n, the too many people are showing love in the way they want to receive it, not\n\n606\n00:36:59.230 --> 00:37:03.000\nin the way that the person needs to or wants to receive it.\n\n607\n00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:07.330\nI've always talked about tough love languages as another way in which we need\n\n608\n00:37:07.330 --> 00:37:09.000\nto think about feedback.\n\n609\n00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:13.500\nYou might need a gentle hand and that's the way that you receive it and someone\n\n610\n00:37:13.500 --> 00:37:19.570\nelse, if I gave them that same loving, contemplative dose of feedback, it would\n\n611\n00:37:19.570 --> 00:37:21.000\nland on deaf ears.\n\n612\n00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:25.600\nYou need to get to know your people well enough to know how they are going to\n\n613\n00:37:25.600 --> 00:37:30.000\nreally hear something and then deliver it to them in that exact way.\n\n614\n00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:35.000\nYou know, you celebrate and catch people when they're doing the right things.\n\n615\n00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.000\nWhat does recognition look like on a Will Gudera team?\n\n616\n00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:44.940\nWell, if criticism should never be in public and always in private, I believe\n\n617\n00:37:44.940 --> 00:37:50.610\nthat recognition and praise should be or can be in public and more often than\n\n618\n00:37:50.610 --> 00:37:52.000\nnot should be.\n\n619\n00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:56.500\nI think praise can be addictive because we love hearing we've done something\n\n620\n00:37:56.500 --> 00:38:03.120\nwell, but it becomes even more addictive when we feel just the celebration and\n\n621\n00:38:03.120 --> 00:38:05.000\nsupport of the people around us once we receive it.\n\n622\n00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.240\nNot to mention the fact that it's encouraging to others in the sense that they\n\n623\n00:38:09.240 --> 00:38:13.000\nwant to work harder in order to one day receive that public praise.\n\n624\n00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:18.340\nBut I also like to find every opportunity I can when receiving external\n\n625\n00:38:18.340 --> 00:38:24.310\nvalidation or affirmation to point the spotlight on the people or the person or\n\n626\n00:38:24.310 --> 00:38:28.000\npeople that were involved in creating that success.\n\n627\n00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:32.840\nI think that we should leverage as much affirmation for the people who work\n\n628\n00:38:32.840 --> 00:38:36.930\nwith us as humanly possible. When I was not the boss, I would find every\n\n629\n00:38:36.930 --> 00:38:41.000\nopportunity I could to get Danny Meyer to tell someone on my team that they did\n\n630\n00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:41.000\na great job.\n\n631\n00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:45.650\nI think a lot of bosses feel a sense of insecurity that if the people who work\n\n632\n00:38:45.650 --> 00:38:50.700\nfor them receive praise from someone above them in the hierarchy, that it's\n\n633\n00:38:50.700 --> 00:38:54.000\ngoing to disempower them in some way, shape, or form.\n\n634\n00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:57.720\nBut if you really want to be a great leader, finding as many ways as humanly\n\n635\n00:38:57.720 --> 00:39:01.680\npossible for the people who work for you to receive praise and affirmation will\n\n636\n00:39:01.680 --> 00:39:03.000\nonly make you better.\n\n637\n00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:06.000\nDo you have a personal recognition award?\n\n638\n00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:12.000\nOh yeah, for sure. My company then, before I sold it, was called Make It Nice.\n\n639\n00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:16.000\nAnd so we had a Made Nice award. Every single month someone in the kitchen,\n\n640\n00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:18.000\nsomeone in the dining room would receive that.\n\n641\n00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:22.360\nIt was basically like an employee of the month, except repackaged and rebranded\n\n642\n00:39:22.360 --> 00:39:26.000\nso that it didn't feel cheesy and to the contrary, it felt cool.\n\n643\n00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:30.710\nAnd by the way, there's something there, right? Like, we see these things,\n\n644\n00:39:30.710 --> 00:39:35.460\nemployee of the month, and they feel so dumb because they've been treated with\n\n645\n00:39:35.460 --> 00:39:39.990\nsuch, I don't know, malaise over the years that we don't think they're good\n\n646\n00:39:39.990 --> 00:39:41.000\nideas.\n\n647\n00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:48.000\nFinding regular rhythms of praise is always a good thing for an organization.\n\n648\n00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:53.250\nSo you have this goal of becoming the number one restaurant in the world. You\n\n649\n00:39:53.250 --> 00:39:56.640\nsay it out loud every day. You believe it every day. You wake up going to work\n\n650\n00:39:56.640 --> 00:39:59.000\nevery day, say we're going to make it happen.\n\n651\n00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:03.000\nDescribe the moment when it actually happened.\n\n652\n00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:10.920\nIt was one of the best moments of my life. You know, I think when you set\n\n653\n00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:13.880\nimpossible goals and you say it over and over and over again, you believe it's\n\n654\n00:40:13.880 --> 00:40:18.600\ngoing to come true, but I don't know that you're ever fully prepared for how\n\n655\n00:40:18.600 --> 00:40:21.000\ngood it will feel when it one day does.\n\n656\n00:40:21.000 --> 00:40:26.000\nI stood up, gave my wife a long kiss in the mouth.\n\n657\n00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:31.000\nI'm sure she'd love that.\n\n658\n00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:36.000\nAnd gave a speech kind of articulating the pride I felt.\n\n659\n00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:41.340\nAnd I think that's the one thing that's so great about being a leader of a big\n\n660\n00:40:41.340 --> 00:40:47.000\nteam. It's that you can feel pride in the least prideful way.\n\n661\n00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:52.630\nIt's not an illustration of self celebration. You're feeling pride of the work\n\n662\n00:40:52.630 --> 00:40:56.000\nthat an entire group of people did together.\n\n663\n00:40:56.000 --> 00:41:01.140\nYou know, along with all you did at 11 Madison Park, you're also the host of\n\n664\n00:41:01.140 --> 00:41:04.000\nthe Welcome Conference. Tell us about it.\n\n665\n00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:08.860\nSo the Welcome Conference, I started a long time ago now. And I started it\n\n666\n00:41:08.860 --> 00:41:13.160\nbecause I was finding myself on the stages of these chef conferences all over\n\n667\n00:41:13.160 --> 00:41:14.000\nthe world.\n\n668\n00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:17.950\nThese conferences where a bunch of chefs would come together and share ideas\n\n669\n00:41:17.950 --> 00:41:21.000\nand inspire one another and connect to form community.\n\n670\n00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:24.630\nAnd in doing so with these like-minded professionals from across the globe\n\n671\n00:41:24.630 --> 00:41:29.000\nspending time together, the craft of cooking evolved.\n\n672\n00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:33.000\nAnd yet, each one of them, I was the only dining room person.\n\n673\n00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:36.000\nBut here's the deal. I believe that hospitality is a craft.\n\n674\n00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:41.950\nI believe it's a muscle that can be strengthened, but no craft evolves at the\n\n675\n00:41:41.950 --> 00:41:46.040\nspeed it can if you don't have a community of passionate people together\n\n676\n00:41:46.040 --> 00:41:49.000\ncollectively pushing it forward.\n\n677\n00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:53.640\nAnd so I started the Welcome Conference to do just that, to get together people\n\n678\n00:41:53.640 --> 00:41:58.000\nwho are passionate about hospitality so that we could evolve the craft.\n\n679\n00:41:58.000 --> 00:42:10.050\nAnd it started in this little basement auditorium like 12 years ago. And now it\n\n680\n00:42:10.050 --> 00:42:10.460\n's an annual event at Lincoln Center that brings together some of the brightest\n\n681\n00:42:10.460 --> 00:42:11.000\nminds and hospitality inside and outside of the restaurant business.\n\n682\n00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:16.260\nYou've had some phenomenal guests, Seth Meyers, Alan Malley, Simon Sennake. And\n\n683\n00:42:16.260 --> 00:42:22.000\nI understand that your dad actually spoke at one of the conferences one year.\n\n684\n00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:27.000\nTell us about the gift you gave him as a thank you.\n\n685\n00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:32.850\nYou've done a deep dive. My dad did a talk. His talk was called \"Inversity is a\n\n686\n00:42:32.850 --> 00:42:35.000\nTerrible Thing to Waste.\"\n\n687\n00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:37.890\nWe don't have the budget to pay some of these people anywhere close to what\n\n688\n00:42:37.890 --> 00:42:40.990\nthey should make with the amount of wisdom they're delivering to the people in\n\n689\n00:42:40.990 --> 00:42:42.000\nthe auditorium.\n\n690\n00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:46.880\nAnd so instead, we do this gifting ceremony the night before the conference for\n\n691\n00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:48.000\nall the speakers.\n\n692\n00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:52.140\nAnd we spend months and months and months on these gifts. This is the gift I\n\n693\n00:42:52.140 --> 00:42:53.000\ngot for my dad.\n\n694\n00:42:53.000 --> 00:42:59.870\nMy dad's a big Patriots fan. Big Patriots fan. And I forget what year this was,\n\n695\n00:42:59.870 --> 00:43:02.000\nbut this is before I was really into football.\n\n696\n00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:06.560\nAnd I called him halfway through the Super Bowl. I got home for dinner, turned\n\n697\n00:43:06.560 --> 00:43:09.000\nit on, and the Patriots were getting their butts kicked.\n\n698\n00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:11.200\nAnd I called him and I was like, \"Dad, what's going on with your team? They're\n\n699\n00:43:11.200 --> 00:43:12.000\ngetting their butts kicked.\"\n\n700\n00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:14.000\nAnd he's like, \"Don't call me during the Super Bowl.\"\n\n701\n00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:18.810\nAnd I was like, \"It's halftime.\" He's like, \"Well, shut up!\" And he hangs up at\n\n702\n00:43:18.810 --> 00:43:19.000\nme.\n\n703\n00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:23.990\nFirst time in my life, my dad has told me to shut up. Patriots led by Tom Brady\n\n704\n00:43:23.990 --> 00:43:27.000\nhave one of the biggest best comebacks in Super Bowl history.\n\n705\n00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:32.320\nTurn around and win that game. I call my dad back afterwards. And he screens my\n\n706\n00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:33.000\ncall.\n\n707\n00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:36.000\nHe doesn't want to hear my voice since I gave him a hard time at halftime.\n\n708\n00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:40.000\nAnd instead, he texts me and he goes, \"That's how it's done.\"\n\n709\n00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:47.000\nSo I managed to somehow pull this off where I got a football from that game\n\n710\n00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:53.260\nsigned by Tom Brady to my dad that said, \"Frank, that's how it's done, Tom\n\n711\n00:43:53.260 --> 00:43:54.000\nBrady.\"\n\n712\n00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:56.000\nI love it.\n\n713\n00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:59.000\nWhat's your dad thinking that?\n\n714\n00:43:59.000 --> 00:44:03.550\nA ball to my dad from Tom Brady signed with the words my dad said about Tom\n\n715\n00:44:03.550 --> 00:44:05.000\nBrady, which I thought was really fun.\n\n716\n00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:10.000\nI love it, obviously. I mean, I regained his love with that gift.\n\n717\n00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:12.000\nI should say that.\n\n718\n00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:13.000\nThat's funny.\n\n719\n00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:16.860\nYou know, this has been so much fun. I want to have some more with a lightning\n\n720\n00:44:16.860 --> 00:44:18.000\nround of questions. Are you ready for this?\n\n721\n00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:20.000\nFor sure.\n\n722\n00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:25.000\nWhat's one word others would use to best describe you?\n\n723\n00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.000\nOh, I'm loyal.\n\n724\n00:44:29.000 --> 00:44:33.000\nWhat would you say is the one word that best describes you?\n\n725\n00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:35.000\nPlayful?\n\n726\n00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:37.000\nWho would play you in a movie?\n\n727\n00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:39.000\nAdam Sandler.\n\n728\n00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:46.000\nWhat's your favorite movie about a restaurant or a chef?\n\n729\n00:44:46.000 --> 00:44:50.700\nOh, I don't like any movies about restaurants or chefs, but the TV show The\n\n730\n00:44:50.700 --> 00:44:56.040\nBear, I think, is the best on screen depiction of my world, and I think it's\n\n731\n00:44:56.040 --> 00:44:57.000\nbeautifully done.\n\n732\n00:44:57.000 --> 00:45:03.000\nIf you could be one person for a day beside yourself, who would it be?\n\n733\n00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:15.030\nOh, some, probably the drummer from Dave Matthews Band in the late 90s. I\n\n734\n00:45:15.030 --> 00:45:18.200\nplayed the drums and I would have loved to have played the drums in a big band\n\n735\n00:45:18.200 --> 00:45:20.000\nin their heyday.\n\n736\n00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:23.000\nWhat's your biggest pet peeve?\n\n737\n00:45:23.000 --> 00:45:27.000\nMy biggest pet peeve is people who are impolite.\n\n738\n00:45:27.000 --> 00:45:33.630\nMy biggest pet peeve, like within that right now, is people who don't respond\n\n739\n00:45:33.630 --> 00:45:36.000\nto an email.\n\n740\n00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:40.980\nNot like a random email that you sent without invitation, but if you and I have\n\n741\n00:45:40.980 --> 00:45:45.100\na conversation and we say we're going to follow up and I send you an email and\n\n742\n00:45:45.100 --> 00:45:49.070\nthen you just never respond, I feel like that is becoming increasingly\n\n743\n00:45:49.070 --> 00:45:52.000\nnormalized in society where people aren't acting\n\n744\n00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:56.840\nwith the level of civility that we used to be accustomed to, and I think it's\n\n745\n00:45:56.840 --> 00:45:58.000\ndeplorable.\n\n746\n00:45:58.000 --> 00:46:02.000\nLet's pretend you're celebrating one of your milestone birthdays.\n\n747\n00:46:02.000 --> 00:46:07.000\nYou know, where would you go for dinner and what are you ordering?\n\n748\n00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:13.000\nI am going to a restaurant called Rayo's in East Harlem in New York.\n\n749\n00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:14.000\nLove it.\n\n750\n00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:20.610\nI'm getting meatballs and I'm bringing a bottle of really old, beautiful burr\n\n751\n00:46:20.610 --> 00:46:21.000\nolo.\n\n752\n00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:25.000\nAnd you're going to sing my girl after you've had your dessert at the bar.\n\n753\n00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:26.000\nThere you go.\n\n754\n00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:27.000\nThere you go.\n\n755\n00:46:27.000 --> 00:46:28.000\nThere you go.\n\n756\n00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:29.000\nThat is a good one.\n\n757\n00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:32.000\nWhat's one of your daily rituals, something you never miss?\n\n758\n00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:34.000\nI mean, I have two.\n\n759\n00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:36.000\nI hate working out.\n\n760\n00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:38.000\nI hate working out.\n\n761\n00:46:38.000 --> 00:46:41.260\nAnd yet I know that I need to, and a friend of mine a long time ago gave me\n\n762\n00:46:41.260 --> 00:46:45.390\nthis advice because he really believes in push-ups and in a multitude of ways\n\n763\n00:46:45.390 --> 00:46:49.380\nhe goes, just promise me that you'll never go a day for the rest of your life\n\n764\n00:46:49.380 --> 00:46:50.000\nwithout doing one push-up.\n\n765\n00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:53.000\nAnd I was like, I can promise you that.\n\n766\n00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:55.560\nAnd the thing about that is, is the moment you're down to the ground doing one\n\n767\n00:46:55.560 --> 00:46:59.000\npush-up, it's very rare that you don't do a bunch more.\n\n768\n00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:05.290\nAnd so very rarely, if ever, does a day go by that I don't do at least one push\n\n769\n00:47:05.290 --> 00:47:06.000\n-up.\n\n770\n00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:07.000\nThat's great.\n\n771\n00:47:07.000 --> 00:47:08.000\nYou know, there's a great book.\n\n772\n00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:10.000\nI think it's Tiny Habits.\n\n773\n00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:11.000\nIt's all about that.\n\n774\n00:47:11.000 --> 00:47:15.000\nIf you do that one push-up, you'll end up doing 10, 20, 30, 40, 50.\n\n775\n00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:18.000\nIf I turned on the radio in your car, what would I hear?\n\n776\n00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:21.870\nOh, right now I have a two and a half year old, so you'd probably hear the Mo\n\n777\n00:47:21.870 --> 00:47:23.000\nana soundtrack.\n\n778\n00:47:23.000 --> 00:47:27.000\nWhat's something about you that few people would know?\n\n779\n00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:33.570\nI am a very extroverted person in the world, but very few people would know\n\n780\n00:47:33.570 --> 00:47:38.000\nthat, yeah, sometimes I just need space and time alone.\n\n781\n00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:42.000\nAnd that's actually the thing that re-energizes me.\n\n782\n00:47:42.000 --> 00:47:44.000\nWell, we're out of the lightning round now.\n\n783\n00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:45.000\nThat was a very good job.\n\n784\n00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.000\nI just got a few more questions and we'll wrap this up.\n\n785\n00:47:49.000 --> 00:47:51.000\nSo, Will, I was intrigued.\n\n786\n00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:52.000\nYou build this business.\n\n787\n00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:54.000\nYou become number one in the world.\n\n788\n00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:58.000\nYet you sold your share of 11 Madison Park to your co-owner.\n\n789\n00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:00.000\nWhy did you get out?\n\n790\n00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.000\nI mean, simply put, the relationship wasn't the same anymore.\n\n791\n00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:08.000\nI think as we grew, we had different priorities.\n\n792\n00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:13.000\nMy dad always says, ask yourself what right looks like and do that.\n\n793\n00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:17.000\nOur definitions of what right looked like were no longer the same.\n\n794\n00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:25.990\nAnd I've always just operated on this belief system that you need to love\n\n795\n00:48:25.990 --> 00:48:27.000\neverything about what you do.\n\n796\n00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:29.000\nOtherwise, you need to start doing something else.\n\n797\n00:48:29.000 --> 00:48:35.000\nAnd when it was no longer the same with my partner, I didn't love it as much.\n\n798\n00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:42.000\nAnd also, I just believe in the idea of second chapters.\n\n799\n00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:45.000\nI was in a place where I could have just continued running that company\n\n800\n00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:47.000\nand opening more restaurants for the rest of my life\n\n801\n00:48:47.000 --> 00:48:50.000\nand that would have singularly defined my career.\n\n802\n00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:55.000\nAnd so, I saw this opportunity to move on and pursue my second chapter\n\n803\n00:48:55.000 --> 00:49:01.020\nand also just recognize that the first chapter was no longer going to be what\n\n804\n00:49:01.020 --> 00:49:02.000\nit had been.\n\n805\n00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:07.000\nHow long as a leader, Will, should you work at making it right\n\n806\n00:49:07.000 --> 00:49:10.000\nbefore you move on to that next chapter?\n\n807\n00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:15.000\nWell, I think you should work as long as humanly possible,\n\n808\n00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.000\nas long as it feels like there's a chance for success.\n\n809\n00:49:19.000 --> 00:49:27.000\nBut I also think that you can't conflate persistence with pushing endlessly\n\n810\n00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:30.000\nfor a result that will never come about.\n\n811\n00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:33.000\nI actually think that happens at the expense of those that work for you.\n\n812\n00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:37.000\nYou know, you've been on this incredible ride the past couple of years\n\n813\n00:49:37.000 --> 00:49:42.000\nand you have a best-selling book, unreasonable hospitality.\n\n814\n00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:45.000\nI've written a few books myself and when they're over,\n\n815\n00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:47.000\nyou know, you kind of look back and you go,\n\n816\n00:49:47.000 --> 00:49:51.000\n\"I wish I would have said this or wish I would have told that story.\"\n\n817\n00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:56.640\nWhat's a favorite story or leadership lesson that you wish you would have put\n\n818\n00:49:56.640 --> 00:49:57.000\nin that book?\n\n819\n00:49:57.000 --> 00:49:59.000\nOr did you get it all down?\n\n820\n00:49:59.000 --> 00:50:02.000\nWell, I believe in practices, right?\n\n821\n00:50:02.000 --> 00:50:04.000\nI talk about the push-up practice.\n\n822\n00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:06.000\nOne of the practices I developed when I started writing the book\n\n823\n00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:09.810\nwas in my phone, I had a notes app, and every single time something would occur\n\n824\n00:50:09.810 --> 00:50:10.000\nto me,\n\n825\n00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:14.000\nI'd put it into that notes app, and then when I'd sit down to write,\n\n826\n00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:19.000\nI'd look at what I'd put in there since the last time I wrote to see what still\n\n827\n00:50:19.000 --> 00:50:20.000\nfelt like a good idea\n\n828\n00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:23.000\nwith, you know, with a bit of space.\n\n829\n00:50:23.000 --> 00:50:25.000\nAnd most of the things I put down ended up in the book.\n\n830\n00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:31.000\nWhen I was done and I submitted the book, I didn't stop that practice.\n\n831\n00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:33.000\nIt would have been foolish, too, almost irresponsible,\n\n832\n00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:36.510\nbecause once you get a good practice going, you should keep it going for as\n\n833\n00:50:36.510 --> 00:50:37.000\nlong as humanly possible.\n\n834\n00:50:37.000 --> 00:50:43.760\nSo I have probably half a book's worth in this phone just waiting to be written\n\n835\n00:50:43.760 --> 00:50:44.000\n.\n\n836\n00:50:44.000 --> 00:50:49.000\nAt the end of my audiobook, I added a couple there after the credits.\n\n837\n00:50:49.000 --> 00:50:55.530\nAnd one of the ones I talked about there was this whole idea of when you are a\n\n838\n00:50:55.530 --> 00:50:56.000\nleader,\n\n839\n00:50:56.000 --> 00:51:01.720\nmaking sure that you take a hard look at yourself and ask whether you are the\n\n840\n00:51:01.720 --> 00:51:02.000\nplayer\n\n841\n00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:05.000\nor whether you are the coach.\n\n842\n00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:10.780\nBecause I've seen far too many leaders struggle with success because they can't\n\n843\n00:51:10.780 --> 00:51:12.000\nstop being a player\n\n844\n00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:17.200\nand start to fully become the coach, where they are still putting themselves on\n\n845\n00:51:17.200 --> 00:51:18.000\nthe field\n\n846\n00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:24.000\nand in doing so, resulting with an inability to fully lead the team.\n\n847\n00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:28.560\nAnd I came across this because I was giving advice to a guy who runs a\n\n848\n00:51:28.560 --> 00:51:29.000\nrestaurant\n\n849\n00:51:29.000 --> 00:51:32.000\nand none of my words were landing, but he was a big baseball fan\n\n850\n00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:35.710\nand I realized if I used a baseball metaphor, it would actually finally hit\n\n851\n00:51:35.710 --> 00:51:37.000\nhome.\n\n852\n00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:39.000\nAnd because, listen, here's the reality.\n\n853\n00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:43.000\nA baseball team can win the World Series without their star pitcher,\n\n854\n00:51:43.000 --> 00:51:46.000\nbut they'll never win the World Series without their coach.\n\n855\n00:51:46.000 --> 00:51:51.440\nAnd eventually, you need to decide what role you are in and fully embrace that\n\n856\n00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:52.000\nrole.\n\n857\n00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:57.000\nYou know, you've recently launched a new hospitality group called Thank You.\n\n858\n00:51:57.000 --> 00:52:01.000\nWhat's the big problem you're trying to solve with that company?\n\n859\n00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:06.000\nSo what we do is, and I mean, this is the entire thesis of the book.\n\n860\n00:52:06.000 --> 00:52:10.000\nThe book is effectively about two things, about being creative and intentional\n\n861\n00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:15.720\nin pursuit of relationships and setting forth the world that I don't care what\n\n862\n00:52:15.720 --> 00:52:16.000\nbusiness you're in,\n\n863\n00:52:16.000 --> 00:52:21.160\nyou can make the choice to be in the hospitality industry simply by being as\n\n864\n00:52:21.160 --> 00:52:22.000\nunreasonable\n\n865\n00:52:22.000 --> 00:52:25.000\nabout how you make people feel as you are whatever product you're selling.\n\n866\n00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:30.560\nThe agency is there to help people outside of restaurants and hotels make that\n\n867\n00:52:30.560 --> 00:52:31.000\nchoice\n\n868\n00:52:31.000 --> 00:52:38.000\nto be an on-call think tank, working partner, to help them through whether it's\n\n869\n00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:39.000\nexperience, design,\n\n870\n00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:44.000\nor gathering and gifting strategies, whatever it is, to help people be more\n\n871\n00:52:44.000 --> 00:52:45.000\nconsistent\n\n872\n00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:50.000\nand disciplined in making investments into their relationship capital accounts.\n\n873\n00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:55.000\nThe caveat is that we only work with companies from whom I believe I can learn\n\n874\n00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:56.000\nsomething as well.\n\n875\n00:52:56.000 --> 00:53:01.000\nAnd so I think there's a lot of appetite and interest out there because I just\n\n876\n00:53:01.000 --> 00:53:01.000\nbelieve\n\n877\n00:53:01.000 --> 00:53:05.190\nwe're in a time right now, David, we're like, whether it's the digital\n\n878\n00:53:05.190 --> 00:53:07.000\ntransformation of phones and AI\n\n879\n00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:12.000\nor the hangover following COVID with hybrid and remote work\n\n880\n00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:16.000\nand our collective remembering of our need for connection.\n\n881\n00:53:16.000 --> 00:53:21.000\nAll of these things, hospitality is the secret ingredient and the answer\n\n882\n00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:24.000\nand I think people are really starting to understand that.\n\n883\n00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:29.230\nThe last question for you, Will, imagine you're having coffee with someone who\n\n884\n00:53:29.230 --> 00:53:31.000\nwants to become a better leader.\n\n885\n00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:35.000\nWhat's the one thing you tell them that they just got to do?\n\n886\n00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:40.000\nInvest the time to get to know the people that work for you.\n\n887\n00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:42.000\nYou can read a bunch of books.\n\n888\n00:53:42.000 --> 00:53:47.400\nYou can have a bunch of strategies and a lot of those strategies are going to\n\n889\n00:53:47.400 --> 00:53:48.000\nbe instrumental\n\n890\n00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:51.000\nin helping you be a more effective leader.\n\n891\n00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:56.810\nBut at the end of the day, you can't lead a group that isn't willing to follow\n\n892\n00:53:56.810 --> 00:53:57.000\nyou\n\n893\n00:53:57.000 --> 00:54:01.000\nand one of the best ways to get people to follow you is if they trust you\n\n894\n00:54:01.000 --> 00:54:06.820\nand it is so much easier for people to trust you if they know you and feel\n\n895\n00:54:06.820 --> 00:54:09.000\nknown by you.\n\n896\n00:54:09.000 --> 00:54:14.600\nAnd that only happens if you invest the time to pursue your relationships with\n\n897\n00:54:14.600 --> 00:54:15.000\nthem.\n\n898\n00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:19.000\nThat's some great advice there and I think you're right on the money.\n\n899\n00:54:19.000 --> 00:54:23.250\nAnd Will, I want to thank you for taking so much time out to have this\n\n900\n00:54:23.250 --> 00:54:25.000\nconversation with me.\n\n901\n00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:28.000\nThis was an athletic podcast.\n\n902\n00:54:28.000 --> 00:54:30.000\nThe whole thing was rapid fire.\n\n903\n00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:31.000\nI've been doing it.\n\n904\n00:54:31.000 --> 00:54:32.000\nI'm like, I need to go.\n\n905\n00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:34.000\nI had to get up for the game.\n\n906\n00:54:34.000 --> 00:54:36.000\nI had a little pregame talk.\n\n907\n00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:40.730\nAnd I said, how do I deal with this guy who believes in unreasonable\n\n908\n00:54:40.730 --> 00:54:42.000\nhospitality?\n\n909\n00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:45.000\nI got to have unreasonable line of questions.\n\n910\n00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:51.000\nSo anyway, you're very fun and I love your passion for your mission.\n\n911\n00:54:51.000 --> 00:54:57.600\nAnd I think the idea of focusing on your people first and really being\n\n912\n00:54:57.600 --> 00:54:59.000\nunreasonable in terms\n\n913\n00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:03.000\nof how you think about them is such an enlightening idea.\n\n914\n00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:06.000\nAnd it takes you way beyond what your product is.\n\n915\n00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:09.000\nSo thank you very much for sharing your thoughts.\n\n916\n00:55:09.000 --> 00:55:11.000\nHey, thanks for having me on, man.\n\n917\n00:55:11.000 --> 00:55:15.000\nI appreciate you.\n\n918\n00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:25.000\nYou know, in the world of fine dining, there's always going to be the talk of\n\n919\n00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:32.000\nfoie gua and lobster and caviar, but the game changer for will was nothing more\n\n920\n00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:32.000\nthan a dirty\n\n921\n00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:34.000\nwater hot dog.\n\n922\n00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:38.000\nThat's what sparked his idea of unreasonable hospitality.\n\n923\n00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:43.360\nIt became the foundation of 11 Madison Park's incredible success and the\n\n924\n00:55:43.360 --> 00:55:44.000\nfoundation for\n\n925\n00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:46.000\nthe book that he wrote about it.\n\n926\n00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:51.000\nBut as Will pointed out, he would have never had that breakthrough if he hadn't\n\n927\n00:55:51.000 --> 00:55:51.000\nhad his\n\n928\n00:55:51.000 --> 00:55:56.300\nantenna up that day listening to those diners who said they wanted to try a New\n\n929\n00:55:56.300 --> 00:55:57.000\nYork hot\n\n930\n00:55:57.000 --> 00:55:58.000\ndog.\n\n931\n00:55:58.000 --> 00:56:02.200\nIf you're a leader, you've got to constantly think about how you can make the\n\n932\n00:56:02.200 --> 00:56:03.000\npeople around\n\n933\n00:56:03.000 --> 00:56:04.000\nyou feel seen.\n\n934\n00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:08.690\nLike you hear them, you understand them, and you're willing to go the extra\n\n935\n00:56:08.690 --> 00:56:09.000\nmile to show\n\n936\n00:56:09.000 --> 00:56:12.000\nhow much they matter to you.\n\n937\n00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:15.000\nThis week, keep your antenna up.\n\n938\n00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:19.450\nLook for an opportunity to do something unreasonably caring for either a team\n\n939\n00:56:19.450 --> 00:56:20.000\nmember or a customer.\n\n940\n00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:24.280\nI think you'll be surprised how many chances you have to create the kind of\n\n941\n00:56:24.280 --> 00:56:25.000\nmemorable moments\n\n942\n00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:30.000\nthat really wow people and show them that you really, really care.\n\n943\n00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:32.000\nSo do you want to know how leaders lead?\n\n944\n00:56:32.000 --> 00:56:37.000\nWhat we learned today is that great leaders make people feel seen.\n\n945\n00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:42.000\nComing up next on How leaders lead is Alan Shaw, the CEO of Norfolk Southern.\n\n946\n00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:44.000\nEric Guentz breeds complacency.\n\n947\n00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:48.000\nHumility allows you to learn, allows you to innovate.\n\n948\n00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:51.000\nIt allows you to say, I don't have the answers.\n\n949\n00:56:51.000 --> 00:56:53.000\nI've got the resources.\n\n950\n00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:57.390\nYou help me figure out, please, how we can make this better, how we can make it\n\n951\n00:56:57.390 --> 00:56:58.000\nright.\n\n952\n00:56:58.000 --> 00:57:01.000\nSo be sure to come back again next week to hear more.\n\n953\n00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:05.540\nThanks again for tuning in to another episode of How leaders lead where every\n\n954\n00:57:05.540 --> 00:57:06.000\nThursday you\n\n955\n00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:11.000\nget to listen in while I interview some of the very best leaders in the world.\n\n956\n00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:15.200\nI may get a point to give you something simple on each episode that you can\n\n957\n00:57:15.200 --> 00:57:16.000\napply to your\n\n958\n00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:20.000\nbusiness so that you will become the best leader you can be.\n\n959\n00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:30.000\n[BLANK_AUDIO]\n\n960\n00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:40.000\n[ Silence ]\n","

Will Guidara 0:01

invest the time to get to know the people that work for you. You can't lead a group that isn't willing to follow you. And one of the best ways to get people to follow you is if they trust you. And it is so much easier for people to trust you if they know you and feel known by you.

David Novak 0:25

Welcome to how leaders lead where every week you get to listen in while I interview some of the very best leaders in the world, I break down the key learning so that by the end of the episode, you'll have something simple, you can apply as you develop into a better leader. That's what this podcast is all about. Today's guest is Wilga Dara, the former owner of the legendary New York restaurant 11 Madison Park, and he's also a best selling author. Under Will's leadership, 11, Madison Park received three Michelin stars. And in 2017, they were named number one on the list of the world's 50 best restaurants, that is one heck of a feat. Now you don't get that kind of recognition, unless your food is incredible. But what's really set the restaurant apart is their level of service and how they take care of customers will cause it unreasonable hospitality. And I gotta say, I just love that idea. Because as leaders taking care of people, and making them feel valued and seen, well, it's a key part of how you build trust on your team. Whether you're running a restaurant or running a business, you'll find lots of takeaways here to help you and your team rise to the top. So here's my conversation with my good friend, and Sunidhi yours will good era

I want to know why you say that a hot dog helped 11 Madison Park become the number one restaurant in the world. Don't you do like five star gourmet everything. Hot dog, you gotta explain this, to me.

Will Guidara 2:15

The hot dog moment really was a breakthrough moment in the evolution of the restaurant and, and perhaps more specifically, me identifying how we could make our impact on the world of restaurants. We had these aspirations to become the number one restaurant in the world. But when you really take a moment and think about it, that idea is kind of absurd, right? How do you say one restaurant is the best restaurant in the world what what that award really symbolizes is that a restaurant is having the greatest impact on the world of restaurants at any given time. And when I looked at the restaurants that had accomplished that before us, they were all run by chefs, chefs who were extraordinarily talented, who were unreasonable. In pursuit of the product. They served relentless in pursuit of the sourcing of ingredients or the techniques, they were innovating all of this stuff. And I realized that for us to become number one, our impact would come in a very different way we would make it through choosing to be unreasonable in pursuit of people, and relentless in pursuit of the one thing that will never change, which is our human desire to feel seen to feel cared for to feel welcomed. And so unreasonable. Hospitality became our call to arms. That was the language I used to articulate the impact I wanted to make.

David Novak 3:41

Yeah, but the hot dog, you got to tell me about this hot dog. Okay, how does a hot dog fit into all this?

Will Guidara 3:47

You know, sometimes you come up with these big ideas, these words that symbolizes everything you want to achieve. And then you look at those words, and you realize you have no idea what they mean. And you just need to trust in the fact that as you pursue them, they will reveal themselves to you along the way. They really began to reveal themselves to me through the hotdog. And so there was a lunch service. About a year and a half after I wrote those words in a cocktail napkin for the first time, the servers were busier than they were meant to be. I was out in the dining room helping them I was clearing tables. And I found myself clearing appetizers from a table of for foodies. There were Europeans on vacation to New York City just to go to great restaurants. They'd been to some of the best restaurants in New York. This was their last meal. They were on their way to the airport right after lunch to head back home. And while I was clearing their table, I overheard them talking. And they were going on and on about what a great trip it was now the amazing meals they had. And now they're at 11 Madison Park, but then one woman jumped in and said yeah, but you know, we never had we never just stopped at one of the street carts and got a hot dog. David, do you know that moment and a cartoon where the animated light bulb goes off over the character's head you know, they've had a good idea as calmly as I could have walked back into the kitchen and then ran outside of the hotdog cart in front of the restaurant bought a hot dog run I'm back inside. Then came the hard part convincing my fancy chef to serve it and our fancy restaurant. But I told him it was important to me. And we cut the hot dog up and the four perfect pieces put one on each plate added a little swish of ketchup and mustard and a perfect little scoop of sauerkraut and relish to each plate than before their final savory course, which at the time was our signature honey lavender glazed Muscovy duck that had been dry aged for two weeks. I brought out what we in New York, call it dirty water dog to their table. And my gosh, listen, I had been serving food my entire life, millions of dollars worth Fogra caviar Wagyu beef lobster truffles, I never had seen anyone react like they did to the $2 hot dog. And that moment, that was a coming of age for me where my gosh, I realized that I've been looking at my business in the entirely wrong way. And that hotdog became our nutrient North one that we dissected and unpacked in order to figure out the roadmap that could allow us to start delivering experiences like that all the time. I

David Novak 6:13

just love that. And you know, there's so much will that I want to talk about on on that journey that you had to get to number one. But first, I'd like to go back to the beginning. You said you wanted to be number one, you know, and a lot of times you become what you you think you are and so you had this, but tell us how you, you've learned this power of speaking things into existence. Hmm.

Will Guidara 6:40

I'm very blessed in a number of ways. And one of the reasons why I think I'm the most blessed is the relationship I have with my dad. My dad is my hero, my dad, my best friend, my greatest mentor and everything in between. and, gosh, if by the end of this, I'm sure I will have quoted him many, many times because he has given me so much of the wisdom that I've carried through my career. When I was a kid, he gave me a paperweight. And on it it said, What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? And he would always challenge me at varying intervals he still does to this day over the course of my life and my career to ask that question, answer it honestly. And whatever the answer is, no matter how audacious to try to do that. I know it says that. So many people are scared to say their most audacious goals out loud for fear that if they do and don't achieve them, they'll let themselves and those around them down. But if you don't have that confidence, that conviction, to dream your biggest dreams out loud, it's very unlikely you'll ever achieve them. That's my dad. But I also witnessed it firsthand through my mom who, when I was four, she was diagnosed with brain cancer. Based on the radiation treatment she received throughout the removal of the tumor. She ultimately was rendered into becoming a quadriplegic. She was meant to live maybe until I was 10, or 11. But my mom was completely determined to see me graduate from college, a decade or more longer than how she was supposed to live. And I turned 10. And everyone got nervous. And she kept on living 12 kept on living 14 kept on living. David, she passed away five hours after I graduated from college. Wow. And so like, you know, these things can feel trite. This idea that you can talk things into existence, if you believe in something, if you say it out loud, often enough, it can come true. I mean, listen, people say stuff like this, but a I can say with confidence watching her that against all odds, it can be true. And I can also say that it certainly will not be true. If you don't say it often. And if you don't believe enough in yourself.

David Novak 9:03

That's really powerful stuff. And you know, so you do graduate from college, you go to Cornell, and you have this hope of one day owning a restaurant in New York City. Early on in your career. What was the failure that you learned the most from?

Will Guidara 9:21

I mean, gosh, I had so many failures along the way to live Madison Park. One of the things that I will constantly be navigating in terms of my personality is my OCD tendencies and my desire to control every single little detail of my environment and ensure that every thing is as perfect as humanly possible, right? I'm very anal retentive. I'm a perfectionist. That should come as no surprise you don't get a Michelin three star restaurant if you aren't maniacal about the details and as controlling as possible and ensuring their excellence and yet intellectually and emotionally, I understand that the greatest leaders are those that lead with trust and empower their team and give them the responsibility that encourages them to become more responsible. That mission command will always exceed Mission Control that setting a goal and then empowering your team to collectively determine the best way to achieve it is right, right. I know that. But there's tension between trust and control. They're not friends. And many times over the course of my career, I fell off that razor sharp line between them in one direction or the other. I think the best example, is halfway through our evolution at the restaurant, we debuted this new groundbreaking menu, which was going to be of about and for New York, every ingredient was going to be sourced from New York, every course was going to tell a part of the story of the history of New York, all of that. And I became so determined that every guest here exactly what I wanted them to hear about each course. And not a thing more that I ended up writing scripts for the entire team to memorize in order to describe the food. I made them use my words to describe something. And so we debuted the menu was a big deal. The New York Times food critic came that same day dined with us I was hiding in the barista station watching him. Because the New York Times food critic you're never supposed to watch them. But everyone does. It's this big cat and mouse game. I think we nailed every single detail. We got it all just perfect. On his way out the door. He actually looked at me we locked eyes. That never happens. I took it as a sign that we crushed it. A couple days later, an article came out it wasn't a formal review. It was a warning shot. And he said at the new 11 Madison Park the words fail the food and went on to talk about how the team at 11 Madison Park so famously human and always capable of bringing their most fully realized selves to the table sounded like actors in the best line. He felt like the entire meal felt like a Seder hosted by Presbyterians. We had put all of this work into making this meal perfectly. And then me the leader of a restaurant that had 160 people working at it through a decision I made. I messed it all up, messed it up. Because one, I was doing things that went against the very core values. I told everyone on the team I believed in that I trusted them to be themselves. And that well, instead of allowing them to be themselves, I made them into actors rehearse or reciting a script that someone else had written on their behalf. There was a hard moment, although it gave way to incredible season. Listen, what I think a lot of leaders do when they make a mistake is that leaders have this expectation that their teams want them to be perfect or think that they are perfect, which could not be further from the truth. Human beings are inherently imperfect. And any person that pretends to be perfect has an inability to fully gain the trust of those around them because it's clear that they're not telling the whole story. And too many leaders when they make a mistake think that if they just pretend it didn't happen that people won't notice it did and they'll forget about it. But every time a leader makes a big mistake and doesn't own up to that mistake, the trust that they so desperately need from their team slowly and consistently erodes. And after that happened, I called an all staff meeting and stood in front of 180 people and apologized and said that I messed up. That was my fault. And I was gonna make many more mistakes in the future. But I was going to try never to make that mistake again.

David Novak 14:04

You got this OCD quality this II like to control like that can easily get in the wood will again. How do you catch yourself when you see that creeping back in?

Will Guidara 14:19

I think the best answer is that I've learned not to rely on just me to catch myself. I talked in the book about a woman who worked for me for a really long time, and Laura Wagstaff, who worked for me for 15 or so years and she was the first person who played this role in my life, but I ended up empowering people either. Very, very specifically like in words, I give you permission to do this or just organically through building a strong enough relationship with them that they felt comfortable to do so to call me out. Before I had the wherewithal to record I set myself, I think, to be great. You need to have people around you that aren't scared to tell you when you are going astray. And for me, that could be when I'm getting overly ambitious and setting unrealistic goals that could be where my desire to trust is being overwhelmed my desire to control that could be a whole host of issues. But listen, no matter what you do, if you believe in hospitality, you need to recognize that it's a team sport, right? It doesn't matter how hospitable any one individual it is. It's the hospitality of every person on the team that defines your success. And if you agree that it's a team sport, then you need to play the game, like you're a part of the team, not that you're some solo artists there. When you lead a team, it doesn't mean that people on the team don't get to lead us sometimes great leaders know when to follow. And that only happens if you create the kind of relationships where people can trust in the fact that they can call you out. And that's something that you'll appreciate. We

David Novak 16:12

all need those truth tellers out there. And I've heard you say, pick the person you want to work for, not the company you want to work for. Why do you give that advice? Listen,

Will Guidara 16:24

I think mentorship is everything. I don't think you're ever too young to be a mentor, I don't think you're ever too old to have a mentor, I think we all need to be and have mentors in order to grow to our fullest potential. And especially I say that the most often to kids that are just getting into their, their careers, right, because you graduate from school. And depending on what industry you're in, you either want to work for Apple, or you want to work for Nike or whatever the top performing company is. But when you work for a great company, I don't care how good the company is, there are great people and there are less great people. And if you work for a mediocre leader and a great company, you are going to receive that mediocre leadership. I would always rather work for a great leader and a mediocre company than a mediocre leader at a great company because that is the person who is going to teach you inspire you and guide your development. Let's

David Novak 17:24

fast forward to 2011 and you buy 11 Madison Park from your mentor who was Danny Meyer, walk us through that moment. What was it that made you say, Okay, it's time.

Will Guidara 17:39

I mean, in part of a circumstantial, I had been approached to open my own restaurant down the street as a part of this big new hotel, and it was going to be a very big deal in the city. And this was my moment to become an entrepreneur. Yet at the same time, I had not finished the work I was trying to do at 11 Madison Park, we weren't even close to number one at that point. And I put a lot of work into that restaurant, I wasn't ready to let it go. And so I approached Danny and said, Hey, I'd love to open my own restaurant over there and continue working with you here. I believed that I could do both. And he said no. Which I get now he explained that then that being partners in one restaurant and competitors, and another just down the street would open us up to more tension than our relationship needed to bear. And I said, well, listen, I don't want to leave this restaurant, but I'm ready to be an entrepreneur. And so if that's the case, I love you, but I'm gonna leave and I'm gonna go do that. And he said, How about you buy the restaurant instead? Because he believed in the spirit of what we're trying to do and understood that the restaurant accomplishing its goals was more important than if he owned it when it did. Now, why I said yes, when he offered me the chance to do that is a totally different story. Because David, I had no idea what I was doing. I was an employee up until that point, I didn't know anything about securing debt, or raising money or setting up human resources departments or financial departments looking into accounting and everything was new to me. But I said yes, and trusted in the fact that I'd figure it out along the way. I think that's something that so many people early in their careers, don't do they think about all that they need to know and become so overwhelmed by it that they never just give it a shot. I talked about this all the time that nobody knows what they're doing until they start doing it. And if you want to be an entrepreneur, you just need to believe in the fact that you're gonna make a ton of mistakes. And the path that Danny would always say the path to success is paved with mistakes well handled. and you're gonna work your ass off and figure it out along the way.

David Novak 20:03

When did you first believe you had it in you to become the number one restaurant in the world?

Will Guidara 20:08

I mean, I think that's something about youthful exuberance. We debuted on the list of the 50 best restaurants in the world and last place at number 50. And the anger I felt coming in last place, fueled my conviction to come in first. And that night, I decided that we would become number one, and I believed it with every ounce of my being. I was young, much younger than I am now, when we began that process. I mean, this was 14 years ago. But it goes right back to what we started this conversation around. You need to believe in the fact that you can talk things into existence. And honestly, maybe the first time I said it, I didn't totally believe it. But the 20th time I said it, I started believing it and the 100th time I said it, I completely believed it.

David Novak 20:55

What was it that you decided in your journey? To be number one, what was it that you decided you were going to be famous for that no one else could do?

Will Guidara 21:06

Well, that's exactly it unreasonable hospitality. I believe a lot in superpowers. I think it's important to look at yourself and have the vulnerability to say out loud what you're great at. I think a lot of people think that when you say out loud to those around you what your superpowers are, that it's a display of cockiness actually believe it's a display of humility. Because the moment you say to a group, I'm really good at this. You're inviting everyone around you to say, wait a minute, really, are you? When I looked at the restaurants that had become number one before us, they were all run by chefs I was the dining room guy, I was the one that derived significant and genuine pleasure out of bestowing graciousness upon others. If they made their mark through the product, I knew that I could make my mark through how I made people feel. That was my unique skill. And the path to number one was just being as unreasonable in pursuit of that, as all of them were in pursuit of the food.

David Novak 22:05

Tell us about your dream weaver roll.

Will Guidara 22:09

So after the hotdogs story, after that happened, you know, athletes always go to the tapes, and they've had a bad game to see what they did wrong. They don't often enough, go to the tapes, and they've had a good game to see what they did right to make sure they keep on doing that thing. I went to the tapes, and there were three things that went into that hot dog moment happening. I needed to be present, to be fully focused on that table such that I could pick up on that cue. That's one. Number two. Yeah, if you want to be the best, you better take what you're doing seriously. But also, you need to stop taking yourself so seriously. I think far too many people, especially in customer service, let self imposed standards get in the way of them, giving the people around them the things that will bring them the most joy. And three, it was centered on this idea that hospitality is about making people feel seen. And the best way to do that is not to treat them like commodities, but unique individuals that the most significant gestures are bespoke to the person receiving those gestures. I would say that unreasonable hospitality, one size fits one. So we had this hot dog as our nutrient worth being present. Don't take yourself too seriously. One size fits one that was the roadmap. And then it was the team. I gave them permission and resources to go out into the dining room and come up with gestures of their own. Now that said, I'm going to land the plane on the sensor momentarily. Too many leaders make the mistake of coming up with great ideas, giving their team permission to do something. But not following up those ideas are those permissions with the resources that make them actionable, that make them easy enough for their team to deploy. And we didn't have someone just sitting around in the restaurant waiting to go run errands for people. And so we added the position the dream weaver whose only role was to be there every night during dinner service to help everyone else on the team bring their ideas to life. And the creative agency of the people in the dining are a matched with the capacity of the dream weaver created the kind of gestures that came to be known as legends within our industry.

David Novak 24:19

Tell us about your your one inch rule. The

Will Guidara 24:23

one inch rule means that if you're going to do something, anything, follow it through till the final image that you're not done with anything until you're completely done with that thing. It's called a one inch rule in the restaurant because we picked a lot of stuff up and we put a lot of stuff down and you can agonize over a plate of food forever but if the person delivering it to the table loses focus when that plate is one inch away from the table and they drop it a little too hard that perfectly plays garnish can stumble off and we'll undo hours and hours and hours of effort to make it perfect. but it's also a philosophical ideal that whatever you do, you need to be fully focused on that thing until you're completely done with it. And before you choose to move on to the next thing, I think there's this flawed belief system out there that multitasking is the most efficient approach to take. In fact, I believe focusing on one thing at a time is much more efficient, not only in our ability to emotionally connect with others, but also to get our details as excellent as humanly possible. You know, you

David Novak 25:32

kind of like a coach, in the sense of, you know, Coach before the game. Yeah, it has this, you know, pregame motivational speech, and you actually set up pre meal meetings with your team and, and you've really viewed those pre meal meetings as a real game changer. Walk me through what you do in one of those meetings and the intent behind it. Yeah,

Will Guidara 25:56

pre meal, for those of you who haven't worked in restaurants is the 30 minute meeting that we have most restaurants do it right before we unlock the doors and start serving people dinner. Most restaurants do it unfortunately, a lot of them waste it. They waste it by talking about things that could be so clearly communicated via an email, a new menu item, a new wine by the glass, whatever. I believe that meeting, that daily huddle should be where you talk about the why and the how just as much if not more than the what it's an opportunity for a leader to share moments of inspiration, things that they've seen out in the world that they've been touched by that they want to share with the people that work for them. And also an opportunity for that same leader to invite the people on their team to do the same. I think a premium daily huddle is wasted. If a leader only talks about things that will make their team better at their jobs, that's an opportunity to talk to your team about things that will make them better as people in life beyond just the work. Give

David Novak 26:52

me a story where that you used inspire your team to get going.

Will Guidara 26:56

I mean, it could be anything man like I if I were doing a premium, so I'll tell you one, right now I've started a newsletter called premium because I miss premium. And so now every two weeks, I send out a virtual premium through a newsletter and I was just working on one a moment ago. Trader Joe's, I was there with my kid. And when you're a parent and you're shopping with your kid, that can be a very emotionally traumatic experience, right, you have your list to get through and your kid just wants every single dessert on the shelves and they don't want to be there. And so I went to Trader Joe's actually had the capacity to look through the lens of single parents at the grocery store with their kids for long enough to address that moment, with graciousness, and hospitality. And at every trader joe's there's a couple of stuffed animals hidden in the store. Not within arm's length, but they're around the store. And if a kid finds one of those stuffed animals, when they get to the cashier, they tell the cashier and the cashier gives them a sweet treat out of this treasure chest is what they call it. They did some simple pattern recognition. at Trader Joe's, they identified that this was a recurring moment, a nagging problem for some of their customers. And they treated it they addressed it with creativity, playfulness, intention, ingenuity, and made the experience for the parents and the kids so much better for it to the point that the next time the parents are inclined to want to go to a different grocery store, they never will, that would have become a premium. I was inspired by the way that they thought and if I took that story from a grocery store and brought it home to my team, and encouraged everyone to think along those same lines, but focus that thinking on what we were doing, then true innovation can take place

David Novak 28:55

will be back with the rest of my conversation with we'll get there in just a moment. All this talk about service has me thinking about Alan Mulally, the former CEO of Ford, and his words, the purpose of life is to serve. And when you live that way, it changes everything about how you lead,

Alan Mulally 29:15

I would really focus on serving. I mean, it's the ultimate and living is to serve, and you can serve everywhere in your life. And once you decide you want to serve, then you start thinking about yourself on how you do that too. And you also ask for advice on how you can surf. So back to your lifelong learning and continuous improvement. You start thinking about this all the time you start gathering feedback in a positive way. You start asking people, What can I do? Whatever your job is, what can I do to help more be more effective, but the thing that allows you to do that is if you have decided that the purpose of your life is to serve and then when you move to the greater good will Wow. I mean, this is all about human dignity, human beings, humanity. So great question, and it would be service, and then everything that would go into that, including your lifelong continuous improvement to serve at the highest level. Go back

David Novak 30:19

and listen to my entire conversation with Alan, Episode 146 here on how leaders lead

you got to get your team excited about going to work when you do these premium meetings. How do you as leader, get yourself up so that you can go into that meeting, and have the right attitude that you're going to need to have?

Will Guidara 30:46

I mean, I'm inherently passionate about the work, so I never need to get myself fired up about the work, I just need to make sure that my gas tank is full. If my gas tank is full, I will be ready to do the work. And we talked about this in hospitality all the time, right? Like, if you are in the business of serving others, think of it like a metaphorical water pitcher, you can't constantly pour water out of your pitcher into other people's glasses. If you don't figure out how to refill your picture, you're going to run out of water very quickly. And so from different people find their oxygen or their gas or their water in different ways. For me, I like a little time alone at home, ordering takeout Chinese food and binge watching terrible television. If I can give myself that every once in a while. That's enough to keep me in the game. I think it's something that a lot of people don't do. Well, young leaders, they think that success is determined only by their output, and they start to burn out pretty quickly, because they don't remember that they need to feed themselves if they want to turn around and feed others. You

David Novak 31:52

know, why do you make such a big deal about continual Teaching and Learning with your team, because this seems to be a major, major driver and how you think about working with your teammates.

Will Guidara 32:05

You know, I'd always say that we're not out there saving lives. But that doesn't mean that that our work doesn't matter. I believe that what we do for a living really does matter. We can impact people in the most beautiful ways we can help them celebrate, we can give them the grace to forget, we can inspire kindness in the world by being really kind everyone that comes through our doors. But I think that if you want to be great, you need to make sure that the extent to which you're impacting the people on your team is as if not more significant than the ways in which you're impacting your customers. And so I've always believed that if you come to work for me, the only way that I can keep the value proposition intact, is if I ensure that you are leaving a better person than you came more educated, more mature, and more professional, all of that. And so I think education has everything you said appropriately that I've always focused on teaching and learning. Because what I don't mean when I say that is that it's one or two people at the top of the hierarchies role to teach everyone everything. I think it's their role to create a culture of teaching and learning where people are expected to learn first, but then find something they're passionate about, and turn around and teach it to everyone else. Knowledge is like a bank account. If only a couple people are making deposits, and everyone's making withdrawals, you're gonna run out of money real fast. But if you have an entire company of people learning and teaching one another constantly, the extent to which you grow together, is limitless.

David Novak 33:42

You know, feedback is also a great opportunity to invest in your your people. Let's say I'm working for you, and I don't meet your high standards, you know, how would you give me the gift of feedback so that I would not only hear what you had to say, want to do something about it.

Will Guidara 34:01

I have rules for feedback. One, give it consistently if something's important to you, every time someone falls short of that expectation and needs to be addressed. You can't be looked at as the person that only gives constructive criticism when you're in a bad mood, because then people misinterpret what you're actually trying to convey to criticize the behavior, not the person. If you come in with a wrinkled shirt. And when I tell you to go back in the locker room and iron your shirt, I call you a jerk along the way. Well, I've just completely gone against everything I believe in right because you're a great guy. You just need to fix the behavior. And if I don't think you're a good person anymore, you shouldn't be on the team. Three criticize in private, not in public. Feedback, like any form of communication only fully lands when people's guards are down and they're open to receiving it the moment you criticize someone public Clearly, a wall of shame goes up, and they're never going to fully receive the message you're trying to deliver.

David Novak 35:04

How do you do that? Well, in a hustle bustle environment of a restaurant where things are happening, and you see this, I mean, how do you have that private moment?

Will Guidara 35:13

Well, I think you can address things succinctly in one moment, and then more at length at the end of the night. The more feedback you give, the more normalized it becomes. I think it's only those that don't give a lot of feedback, who find themselves in a situation where it's such a big deal when you give feedback that it needs to become this whole lengthy conversation. If I'm constantly praising you and criticizing you, each one of those doses of feedback could be as short as a three second conversation, I can just pull you aside and whisper into your ear. Hey, you did that wrong? Hey, great job. You did that? Right? Right. The more you do it, the less of a thing it has to be when you do it.

David Novak 35:59

You know? Well, you seem like a pretty chilled out guy. Yeah. And I'm curious, have you ever lost it? When you're trying to get somebody's attention? 100%?

Will Guidara 36:09

Yes. And I've lost it with and without intention. When I say without intention, there's times when I've started yelling about something where I probably inadvertently did start to criticize the person instead of the behavior. And those cases, I always try to come in the next day and apologize not for the message I was trying to deliver, but the way in which I delivered it. That said, there's times when I've yelled on purpose. And I believe, well, you know what you said lost it. So I'm going to be really specific with my answer here. I think that you can raise your voice without losing control of your emotions. And sometimes I think that's necessary. Everyone's read this book, the love languages, right? The Five Love Languages that too many people are showing love in the way they want to receive it not in the way that the person needs to, or wants to receive it. I've always talked about tough love languages, as another way in which we need to think about feedback, you might need a gentle hand. And that's the way that you receive it. And someone else if I gave them that same loving, contemplative dose of feedback, it would land on deaf ears. You need to get to know your people well enough to know how they are going to really hear something and then deliver it to them in that exact way.

David Novak 37:30

You know, you celebrate and catch people when they're doing the right things. What does recognition look like on a Wilga? Dara team?

Will Guidara 37:39

Well, if criticism should never be in public, and always in private, I believe that recognition and praise should be or can be in public and more often than not, should be. I think praise can be addictive. Because we love hearing, we've done something well. But it becomes even more addictive when we feel just the celebration and support of the people around us once we receive it. Not to mention the fact that it's encouraging to others, in the sense that they want to work harder in order to one day receive that public praise. But I also like to find every opportunity I can when receiving external validation or affirmation to point the spotlight on the people, or the person or people that were involved in trading that success. I think that we should leverage as much affirmation for the people who work with us as humanly possible. When I was not the boss, I would find every opportunity I could to get Danny Meyer to tell someone on my team that they did a great job. I think a lot of bosses feel a sense of insecurity that if the people who work for them receive praise from someone above them in the hierarchy, that it's going to disempower them in some way, shape or form. But if you really want to be a great leader, finding as many ways as humanly possible for the people who work for you to receive praise and affirmation will only make you better.

David Novak 39:03

Do you have a personal recognition award? Oh, yeah,

Will Guidara 39:07

for sure. We, my company then before I sold, it was called Make it nice. And so we had a made nicer word every single month. So one of the kitchen sort of the dining room would receive that. It was basically like an employee of the month except repackaged and rebranded such that it didn't feel cheesy, and to the contrary, it felt cool. And by the way, there's something there right like, we see these things employee of the month and they feel so dumb because they've been treated with such I don't know malaise over the years that we don't think they're good ideas, but finding regular rhythms of praise is always a good thing for an organization. So you have

David Novak 39:48

this goal will of becoming the number one restaurant in the world. You say it out loud every day you believe it every day you wake up going to work every day say we're going to make it happen. Describe The moment when it actually happened. It

Will Guidara 40:03

was one of the best moments of my life. You know, I think when you set impossible goals, and you say it over and over and over again, you believe it's going to come true. But I don't know that you're ever fully prepared for how good it will feel when one day does. I stood up, gave my wife a long kiss in the mouth.

David Novak 40:26

And while I'm sure she loved age, and

Will Guidara 40:31

and gave her a speech, kind of articulating the pride I felt, and I think that's the one thing that's so great about being a leader of a big team, it's that you can feel pride in the least prideful way. It's not an illustration of self celebration, you're feeling pride of the work that entire group of people did together. You

David Novak 40:56

know, along with all you did 11 Madison Park, you're also the host of the welcome conference. Tell us about it.

Will Guidara 41:04

So the welcome conference I started a long time ago now. And I started it because I was finding myself on the stages of these chef conferences all over the world. These conferences are a bunch of chefs that come together and share ideas and inspire one another and connect to form community. And in doing so with these like minded professionals from across the globe, spending time together, the craft of cooking evolved. And yet each one of them I was the only dining room person. But here's the deal. I believe that hospitality is a craft. I believe it's a muscle that can be strengthened. But no craft evolves at the speed it can if you don't have a community of passionate people together, collectively pushing it forward. And so I started the welcome conference to do just that to get together people who are passionate about hospitality, so that we could evolve the craft and it started in this little basement auditorium like 12 years ago. And now it's an annual event at Lincoln Center that brings together some of the brightest minds in hospitality inside and outside of the restaurant business.

David Novak 42:10

You've had some phenomenal guests, you know, Seth Meyers, Alan Mulally, Simon Sinek. And I understand that your dad actually spoke at one of the conferences one year. Tell us about the the gift you gave him as a thank you.

Will Guidara 42:27

You've done a deep dive. My dad did a talk. His talk was called adversity as a terrible thing to waste. We don't have the budget to pay some of these people anywhere close to what they should make with the amount of wisdom they're delivering to the people in the auditorium. And so instead, we do this gifting ceremony the night before the conference for all the speakers. And we spend months and months and months on these gifts. This is the gift I got from my dad. My dad's a big Patriots fan. Big Patriots fan. And I forget what year this was, but this is before I was really into football and I called him halfway through the Super Bowl. I got home for dinner, turned it on and the Patriots were getting their butts kicked and I called him and I was like Dad, what's going on with your team? They're getting their butts kicked. And he's like, don't call me during the Superbowl and I was like It's halftime. He's like, Well, shut up, and hangs up on me. First time in my life. My dad has told me to shut up. Patriots led by Tom Brady have one of the biggest, best comebacks in Super Bowl history, turn around and win that game. I call my dad back afterwards. And he screens my call. He doesn't want to hear my voice since I gave him a hard time at halftime. And instead he texts me because that's how it's done. So I managed to somehow pull this off where I got a football from that game signed by Tom Brady to my dad that said, Frank that's how it's done. Tom Brady.

David Novak 43:53

Love it. Was your dad taking that ball

Will Guidara 43:58

to my dad from Tom Brady signed with the words My dad said about Tom Brady, which I thought was really fun. My dad loved it. Obviously. It's I mean, I regained his love with that gift.

David Novak 44:12

That's funny. You know, this has been so much fun. I want to have some more with a lightning round of questions. Are you ready for this? Well,

Will Guidara 44:18

for sure.

David Novak 44:19

What's one word others would use to best describe you? Loyal what would you say is the one word that best describes you?

Unknown Speaker 44:32

playful?

David Novak 44:34

Who would play you in a movie?

Will Guidara 44:36

Adam Sandler.

David Novak 44:42

What's your favorite movie about a restaurant or a chef? Oh,

Will Guidara 44:46

I don't like any movies about restaurants or chefs. But the TV show the bear I think is the best onscreen depiction of my worlds and I think it's beautifully done. Okay.

David Novak 44:57

If you could be one person for a day bus Find yourself who would it be?

Will Guidara 45:01

Oh. Some probably the drummer from Dave Matthews Band in the late 90s. I played the drums and I would have loved to play the drums and a big band in their heyday.

David Novak 45:20

What's your biggest pet peeve?

Will Guidara 45:23

My biggest pet peeve is people who are impolite. My biggest pet peeve like within that right now is people who don't respond to an email, not like a random email that you sent without invitation. But if you and I have a conversation, and we say we're going to follow up, and I send you an email, and then you just never respond, I feel like that is becoming increasingly normalized in society, where people aren't acting with the level of civility that we used to be accustomed to. And I think it's deplorable. Let's

David Novak 45:58

pretend you're celebrating one of your milestone birthdays. You know, where would you go for dinner? And what are you ordering?

Will Guidara 46:06

I am going to a restaurant called rayos and East Harlem and I'm getting meatballs and I'm bringing a bottle of really old beautiful Barolo.

David Novak 46:20

And you're gonna sing my girl, after you've had your dessert at the bar,

Will Guidara 46:24

there you go.

David Novak 46:26

That is a good one. What's one of your daily rituals, something you never miss.

Will Guidara 46:31

I mean, I've to I hate working out. I hate working out. And yet I know that I need to. And a friend of mine a long time ago gave me this advice. Because he really believes in push ups. And in a multitude of ways he goes, Just promise me that you'll never go a day for the rest of your life without doing one pushup. And I was like, I can promise you that. And the thing about that is, is the moment you're down on the ground doing one push up, it's very rare that you don't do a bunch more. And so very rarely, if ever, does a day go by that I don't do at least one push up.

David Novak 47:06

That's great. You know, there's a great book, I think it's tiny habits. It's all about that if you do that one pushup, you'll end up doing 1020 3040 50. If I turned on the radio in your car, what would I hear?

Will Guidara 47:18

Oh, right now I have a two and a half year old, so you'd probably hear them a wanna soundtrack?

David Novak 47:24

What's something about you that few people would know? I

Will Guidara 47:27

am a very extroverted person in the world, and the very few people would know that. Yeah, sometimes I just need space and time alone. And that's actually the thing that re energizes me. Well,

David Novak 47:42

we're out of a lightning round. Now. That was very good job. I just got a few more questions. And we'll we'll wrap this up. So Well, I was intrigued, you know, you build this business, you become number one in the world, yet you sold your share of 11 Madison Park to your co owner, why did you get out?

Will Guidara 48:00

I mean, simply put, the relationship wasn't the same anymore. I think as we grew, we had different priorities. My dad always says, Ask yourself what right looks like and do that our definitions of what right look like we're no longer the same. And I've always just operated on this belief system that you need to love everything about what you do. Otherwise, you need to start doing something else. And when it was no longer the same with my partner, I didn't love it as much. And also, I just believe in the idea of second chapters, I was in a place where I could have just continued running that company and opening more restaurants for the rest of my life. And that would have singularly defined my career. And so I saw this opportunity to move on and pursue my second chapter. And also just recognize that the first chapter was no longer going to be what it had been. How

David Novak 49:02

long is the leader will? Should you work at making it right, before you move on to that next chapter? Well,

Will Guidara 49:10

I think you should work as long as humanly possible, as long as it feels like there's a chance for success. But I also think that you can't conflate persistence with pushing endlessly for a result that will never come about I actually think that happens at the expense of those that work for you. You

David Novak 49:33

know, you've been on this incredible ride the past couple of years and you have a best selling book, you know, unreasonable hospitality. I've written a few books myself, and when they're over, you know, you kind of look back and you go, I wish I would have said this or wish I would have told that story. What's a favorite story or leadership lesson that you wish you would have put in that book? Or did you get it all down? Well,

Will Guidara 49:58

I believe in practices, right, I talked about the pushup practice, one of the practices I developed when I started writing the book was on my phone, I had a Notes app. And every single time something would occurred to me, I'd put it into that Notes app. And, and then when I'd sit down to write and look at what I'd put in there, since the last time I wrote to see what still felt like a good idea with, you know, with a bit of space and, and most of the things I put down ended up in the book, when I was done, and I submitted the book, I didn't stop that practice, it would have been foolish to almost irresponsible, because once you get a good practice going, you should keep it going for as long as humanly possible. So I have probably half a books worth, in this phone just waiting to be written. I mean, at the end of my audio book, I added a couple there after the credits. And one of the ones I talked about there was this whole idea of when you are a leader, making sure that you take a hard look at yourself and ask whether you are the player, or whether you're the coach, because I've seen far too many leaders struggle with success, because they can't stop being a player and start to fully become the coach, where they're still putting themselves on the field and in doing so resulting with an inability to fully lead the team. And I've came across this because I was giving advice to a guy who runs a restaurant and none of my words were landing, but he was a big baseball fan. And I realized if I used a baseball metaphor, it would it would actually finally hit home. Because listen, here's the reality, a baseball team can win the World Series without their star pitcher, but they'll never win the World Series without their coach. And eventually, you need to decide what role you're in and fully embrace that role.

David Novak 51:52

You know, you've recently launched a new Hospitality Group called Thank you, what's the big problem you're trying to solve with that company?

Will Guidara 52:01

So what we do is, and I mean, this is the entire thesis of the book, the book is effectively about two things about being creative and intentional in pursuit of relationships, and setting forth the world that I don't care what business you're in, you can make the choice to be in the hospitality industry, simply by being as unreasonable about how you make people feel as you are, whatever product you're selling. The agency is there to help people outside of restaurants and hotels make that choice to be an on call Think Tank, working partner to help them through, whether it's experience design, or gathering and gifting strategies, whatever it is to help people be more consistent and disciplined in making investments into their relationship capital accounts. The caveat is that we only work with companies from whom I believe I can learn something as well. And so I think there's a lot of appetite and interest out there because I just believe we're in a time right now, David, where like, whether it's the digital transformation of phones and AI, or the hangover following COVID With hybrid and remote work and our collective remembering of our need for connection. All of these things, hospitality is the secret ingredient and the answer. And I think people are really starting to understand that

David Novak 53:25

last question for you. Well, imagine you're having coffee with someone who wants to become a better leader, what's the one thing you tell them that they just got to do?

Will Guidara 53:35

Invest the time to get to know the people that work for you. You can read a bunch of books, you can have a bunch of strategies. And a lot of those strategies are going to be instrumental in helping you be a more effective leader. But at the end of the day, you can't lead a group that isn't willing to follow you. And one of the best ways to get people to follow you is if they trust you. And it is so much easier for people to trust you if they know you and feel known by you. And that only happens if you invest the time to pursue your relationships with them.

David Novak 54:15

That's some great advice there. And I think you're right on the money and well, I want to thank you for taking so much time out to have this conversation with me and

Will Guidara 54:26

this was an athletic podcast. The whole thing was rapid fire.

David Novak 54:33

I had to get up for the game. I had a little pregame talk. I said how do I deal with this guy who believes in unreasonable hospitality? I got to have an unreasonable line of questions, you know, so anyway, very fun. And I love your your passion for your mission. And I think the idea of focusing on your people first, and you know really being unreasonable in terms of So how you think about them is such an enlightening idea, and it takes you way beyond what your product is. So, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. Hey,

Will Guidara 55:09

thanks for having me on, man, I appreciate you

David Novak 55:22

you know, in the world of fine dining, there's always going to be the talk of flog wha and lobster and caviar, but the game changer for Will was nothing more than a dirty water hot dog. That's what sparked his idea of unreasonable hospitality. It became the foundation of 11 Madison parks, incredible success and the foundation for the book that he wrote about it. But as will pointed out, he would have never had that breakthrough if he hadn't had his antenna up that day, listening to those diners who said they wanted to try a new york hotdog. If you're a leader, you've got to constantly think about how you can make the people around you feel seen. Like you hear them, you understand them, and you're willing to go the extra mile to show how much they matter to you. This week, keep your antenna up. Look for an opportunity to do something unreasonably caring for either a team member or a customer. I think you'll be surprised how many chances you have to create the kind of memorable moments that really wow people and show them that you really, really care. So do you want to know how leaders lead? What we learned today is the great leaders make people feel seen. Coming up next on how leaders lead is Alan Shaw, the CEO of Norfolk Southern

Alan Shaw 56:42

arrogance breeds complacency. Humility allows you to learn as you to innovate. It allows you to say I don't have the answers. I've got the resources, who helped me figure out please, how we can make this better how we can make it right. So

David Novak 56:58

be sure to come back again next week to hear more. Thanks again for tuning in to another episode of how leaders lead where every Thursday you get to listen in while I interview some of the very best leaders in the world. I make it a point to give you something simple on each episode that you can apply to your business so that you will become the best leader you can be

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