[{"_1":2,"_3":-5,"_4":-5},"loaderData",{"_5":6,"_7":8},"actionData","errors","root",{"_139":-5,"_140":-5,"_141":142,"_143":144,"_145":146},"routes/clips.$id.$slug",{"_9":10,"_11":12},"clip",{"_13":14,"_15":16,"_17":-5,"_18":19,"_20":-5,"_21":22,"_23":24,"_25":26,"_27":28,"_29":30,"_31":32,"_33":34,"_35":36,"_37":38,"_39":40,"_41":-5,"_42":-5,"_43":-5,"_44":45,"_46":-5,"_47":48,"_49":50,"_51":-5},"canonicalUrl","https://howleaderslead.com/clips/3262/guide-your-team-with-values-not-narrative","id",3262,"title","Guide your team with values, not narrative","subtitle","transcript","WEBVTT\n\n1\n00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.680\nthe way that I run our program,\n\n2\n00:00:01.680 --> 00:00:04.620\nwe are grounded in standards and values.\n\n3\n00:00:04.620 --> 00:00:08.760\nWe are grounded in truth, not in narrative,\n\n4\n00:00:08.760 --> 00:00:12.560\nnot in what gets clicks on social media\n\n5\n00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:14.400\nor what stories are being told.\n\n6\n00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:17.040\nWe are the only people who know what we are about.\n\n7\n00:00:17.040 --> 00:00:19.040\nWe are only the only people who have committed\n\n8\n00:00:19.040 --> 00:00:20.120\nto those standards and values,\n\n9\n00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:22.880\nand we are the ones that get to live them day in and day out.\n\n10\n00:00:22.880 --> 00:00:26.000\nSo that means that we may have an unfavorable result,\n\n11\n00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:27.600\nbut that doesn't define us.\n\n12\n00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:30.200\nThat game almost didn't define who we are.\n\n13\n00:00:30.200 --> 00:00:31.600\nWe've had a great season.\n\n14\n00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:32.940\nWe didn't play well that game.\n\n15\n00:00:32.940 --> 00:00:35.400\nWe knew the things that we tripped up on.\n\n16\n00:00:35.400 --> 00:00:36.960\nAnd when we do those things the way\n\n17\n00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:38.640\nthat we're capable of doing them,\n\n18\n00:00:38.640 --> 00:00:41.880\nwe are team capable of beating any team in the country.\n\n19\n00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:43.880\nAnd when we're not, we can lose to anyone.\n\n20\n00:00:43.880 --> 00:00:45.320\nAnd that's the truth.\n\n21\n00:00:45.320 --> 00:00:47.160\nAnd so we didn't do that that day,\n\n22\n00:00:47.160 --> 00:00:48.640\nand it resulted in a loss.\n","pretty_transcript","start_time",199249,"end_time",247709,"keywords","Culture, values, narrative, truth, mentality, standards, focus","slug","guide-your-team-with-values-not-narrative","origin","cms","mux_playback_id","Ov5Rr02YUHtN1oWjfGLVi00HzpwWC01gDPP37BUl5eT4xw","mux_asset_id","oiA6s00w1b8BUiqIQB87iZ02ufmOTUAQsMr023Hv00JAAMg","leader_id",271,"episode_id",422,"updated_at","2026-03-26T15:32:17.000000Z","meta_title","meta_description","og_image_media_id","web_url","https://www.howleaderslead.com/clips/3262/guide-your-team-with-values-not-narrative","og_image_url","leader",{"_13":36,"_103":104,"_105":106,"_107":108,"_25":109,"_110":111,"_61":112,"_58":112,"_113":114,"_68":115,"_39":116,"_117":-5,"_41":-5,"_42":-5,"_43":-5,"_118":119,"_91":120,"_44":121,"_122":123,"_124":125,"_46":-5,"_126":127,"_128":129,"_95":130,"_51":-5},"episode",{"_13":38,"_15":52,"_27":53,"_17":54,"_55":56,"_18":57,"_20":-5,"_58":59,"_60":-5,"_61":59,"_62":-5,"_63":64,"_65":66,"_67":-5,"_68":-5,"_69":70,"_71":72,"_73":74,"_35":36,"_39":75,"_41":-5,"_42":76,"_43":-5,"_77":78,"_79":80,"_81":82,"_83":84,"_85":-5,"_86":-5,"_87":88,"_89":90,"_91":-5,"_46":-5,"_92":93,"_94":-5,"_95":-5,"_51":-5},"og_image_media","Ground your team in values, not results","ground-your-team-in-values-not-results","Every team is judged on results, but don't let your team be defined by them. Ground your people in values and standards that don't change, win or lose.","summary","

Five years ago, Shea Ralph walked in as head coach of Vanderbilt’s women’s basketball team and inherited a broken program. There wasn’t much trust or talent left.

But now, Vandy is flying as a #2 seed in this year’s NCAA tournament, and Shea has just been named National Coach of the Year.

Go behind the scenes of their turnaround, and see how Shea’s unique story and perspective helped drive it – including how she motivates her team to get good results without letting those results define who they are.

You’ll also learn:

Why she calls herself “the weather” (and what it means for how you show up today)
The importance of learning how to lose
How she finally got her team to own their core values
Why care comes first, no matter what leadership role you’re in

","WEBVTT\n\n1\n00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.160\nHello everyone and welcome to another episode of How Leaders Lead with David\n\n2\n00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:06.240\nNovak. I am so excited\n\n3\n00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:10.190\nabout today's guest. It's Coach Shay Ralph who is the head coach of the\n\n4\n00:00:10.190 --> 00:00:12.000\nVanderbilt Women's Basketball\n\n5\n00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:16.720\nTeam. She just got named SEC Coach of the Year and National Coach of the Year\n\n6\n00:00:16.720 --> 00:00:17.840\nand she's leading\n\n7\n00:00:17.840 --> 00:00:23.270\nVanderbilt to the NCAA tournament as we speak. When Shay walked in as head\n\n8\n00:00:23.270 --> 00:00:24.160\ncoach at Vandy,\n\n9\n00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:28.220\nshe inherited a broken program. There wasn't much trust and there wasn't much\n\n10\n00:00:28.220 --> 00:00:29.200\ntalent. But five\n\n11\n00:00:29.200 --> 00:00:34.680\nyears later, she's turned the team around and Vanderbilt is on a role. Shay's\n\n12\n00:00:34.680 --> 00:00:35.680\ngot a unique story\n\n13\n00:00:35.680 --> 00:00:39.600\nand perspective that's helped drive her success at Vanderbilt. And in today's\n\n14\n00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:40.640\nepisode, you'll learn\n\n15\n00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:45.570\nhow she motivates our team to get great results without letting those results\n\n16\n00:00:45.570 --> 00:00:46.400\ndefine who they are.\n\n17\n00:00:46.400 --> 00:00:49.120\nAnchor down and enjoy this episode.\n\n18\n00:00:55.200 --> 00:01:00.320\nNow you and I are talking the week of March Madness as the tip-offs are about\n\n19\n00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:00.640\nready\n\n20\n00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:06.070\nand Vanderbilt is a number two seed. As a leader, what's going on in your mind\n\n21\n00:01:06.070 --> 00:01:06.800\nright now?\n\n22\n00:01:06.800 --> 00:01:13.190\nI've been here before so I, you know, not with this team but this is what we do\n\n23\n00:01:13.190 --> 00:01:14.560\n. This is the best\n\n24\n00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:18.240\npart of the year when you play college basketball. This is the goal for many of\n\n25\n00:01:18.240 --> 00:01:19.120\nthe athletes and\n\n26\n00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:24.550\ncoaches that are blessed to play this game at this level. So really, for me, I\n\n27\n00:01:24.550 --> 00:01:25.840\nthink about how we\n\n28\n00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:30.780\nprepare for these moments way in advance of meeting them, right? So the\n\n29\n00:01:30.780 --> 00:01:32.240\npreparation for\n\n30\n00:01:32.240 --> 00:01:36.650\nthe moment that we met yesterday and seeing our name on the screen as a number\n\n31\n00:01:36.650 --> 00:01:37.040\ntwo seed,\n\n32\n00:01:37.040 --> 00:01:40.830\nwhich we haven't seen yet before, was that we've earned it but we have to\n\n33\n00:01:40.830 --> 00:01:42.080\ncontinue to earn it every\n\n34\n00:01:42.080 --> 00:01:47.850\nday and we stay super process oriented here. Focusing on the day to day is\n\n35\n00:01:47.850 --> 00:01:49.360\nreally important\n\n36\n00:01:49.360 --> 00:01:54.560\nand it won't change now. You are going on the big stage now and you see so many\n\n37\n00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:55.920\nupsets, you know,\n\n38\n00:01:55.920 --> 00:02:00.160\nI mean, you know, how do you get your team just to settle in and not change?\n\n39\n00:02:00.160 --> 00:02:04.550\nFor us at least, for me, it's just really focusing on what's right in front of\n\n40\n00:02:04.550 --> 00:02:05.040\nyou.\n\n41\n00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:08.510\nI mean, the goal is to win and you want to talk about the sweet 16 and all the\n\n42\n00:02:08.510 --> 00:02:09.280\nmatchups and that's\n\n43\n00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:14.210\nwhat everyone's talking about, the storylines, but I had a dear friend of mine,\n\n44\n00:02:14.210 --> 00:02:15.200\na fellow coach,\n\n45\n00:02:15.200 --> 00:02:19.680\na colleague, like in this part of where we're at in our season to the game of\n\n46\n00:02:19.680 --> 00:02:20.720\nTetris, right?\n\n47\n00:02:20.720 --> 00:02:25.040\nSo if you play the game of Tetris and you have that one piece that's falling\n\n48\n00:02:25.040 --> 00:02:25.680\nout of the sky and\n\n49\n00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:28.970\nif you don't manage that piece well, then all the other ones aren't going to\n\n50\n00:02:28.970 --> 00:02:29.440\nstack up.\n\n51\n00:02:29.440 --> 00:02:32.800\nIf you play it perfectly, then it eliminates the line and you get to play the\n\n52\n00:02:32.800 --> 00:02:33.840\nnext piece perfectly.\n\n53\n00:02:33.840 --> 00:02:39.600\nSo I'm looking at our season right now as a one game season. So we have to\n\n54\n00:02:39.600 --> 00:02:40.560\nfocus on that, right?\n\n55\n00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:44.710\nPlaying that game perfectly. You know, when I was CEO, you know, unfortunately,\n\n56\n00:02:44.710 --> 00:02:45.520\nwe had to worry\n\n57\n00:02:45.520 --> 00:02:48.870\nabout the quarterly earnings all the time and, you know, sometimes we'd have a\n\n58\n00:02:48.870 --> 00:02:49.760\ntough quarter and\n\n59\n00:02:49.760 --> 00:02:54.690\nand, you know, you had to get the team to bounce back and in your particular\n\n60\n00:02:54.690 --> 00:02:55.760\nsituation, you just\n\n61\n00:02:55.760 --> 00:03:01.410\ncame off the SEC tournament and you had a tough loss to Ole Miss. What do you\n\n62\n00:03:01.410 --> 00:03:03.280\nrefuse to let your\n\n63\n00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:07.460\nteam believe right now? I mean, how do you get them? You know, I had the tough\n\n64\n00:03:07.460 --> 00:03:08.320\nquarter every now and\n\n65\n00:03:08.320 --> 00:03:14.240\nthen. How do you get the team to bounce back and understand who they really are\n\n66\n00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:15.120\nafter a loss that\n\n67\n00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:20.240\nyou know, I'm sure that they think they shouldn't have? The way that I run our\n\n68\n00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:21.760\nprogram, we are grounded\n\n69\n00:03:21.760 --> 00:03:28.150\nin standards and values. We are grounded in truth, not in narrative, not in\n\n70\n00:03:28.150 --> 00:03:29.040\nwhat, you know,\n\n71\n00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:34.320\ngets clicks on social media or what stories are being told. We are the only\n\n72\n00:03:34.320 --> 00:03:35.360\npeople who know what\n\n73\n00:03:35.360 --> 00:03:38.730\nwe are about. We are only the only people who have committed to those standards\n\n74\n00:03:38.730 --> 00:03:39.600\nand values and we\n\n75\n00:03:39.600 --> 00:03:43.270\nare the ones that get to live them day in and day out. So that means that we\n\n76\n00:03:43.270 --> 00:03:44.720\nmay have an unfavorable\n\n77\n00:03:44.720 --> 00:03:48.780\nresult, but that doesn't define us. That game at Ole Miss didn't define who we\n\n78\n00:03:48.780 --> 00:03:50.080\nare. We've had a great\n\n79\n00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:54.260\nseason. We didn't play well that game. We knew the things that we tripped up on\n\n80\n00:03:54.260 --> 00:03:55.200\n. And when we do\n\n81\n00:03:55.200 --> 00:03:59.320\nthose things the way that we're capable of doing them, we are team capable of\n\n82\n00:03:59.320 --> 00:04:00.400\nbeating any team in\n\n83\n00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:04.400\nthe country. And when we're not, we can lose to anyone. And that's the truth.\n\n84\n00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:05.200\nAnd so we didn't\n\n85\n00:04:05.200 --> 00:04:09.600\ndo that that day. And it resulted in a loss. And you know, one thing that I\n\n86\n00:04:09.600 --> 00:04:11.440\nthought was kind of\n\n87\n00:04:11.440 --> 00:04:15.880\ninteresting because you seem to be very calm, mild-bandnered. You actually got\n\n88\n00:04:15.880 --> 00:04:17.200\nthrown out of the game. I\n\n89\n00:04:17.200 --> 00:04:21.360\nmean, is that ever happened before? And let me ask you to tell me the truth.\n\n90\n00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:22.560\nWas that like,\n\n91\n00:04:22.560 --> 00:04:27.230\ndid you do it on purpose? Because sometimes coaches will throw the fit to get\n\n92\n00:04:27.230 --> 00:04:27.840\nthe team going,\n\n93\n00:04:27.840 --> 00:04:34.230\nbecause your team did go on a run after you got kicked out. But did you do it\n\n94\n00:04:34.230 --> 00:04:35.200\non purpose or what?\n\n95\n00:04:35.200 --> 00:04:39.040\nDon't know. It's so funny. That's been the topic of conversation here the last\n\n96\n00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:39.920\nweek amongst my\n\n97\n00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:45.440\nteam and staff, because I am pretty reserved. I am competitive. I was trying to\n\n98\n00:04:45.440 --> 00:04:46.240\nget a technical.\n\n99\n00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:51.200\nI knew going out to half court that I was going to get a technical foul. I was\n\n100\n00:04:51.200 --> 00:04:51.760\nunhappy.\n\n101\n00:04:52.320 --> 00:04:56.720\nWith a lot of the things that were outside of our control in that game. And I\n\n102\n00:04:56.720 --> 00:04:57.360\nsaid,\n\n103\n00:04:57.360 --> 00:05:01.030\nsomething to a ref, which I knew was going to get me a technical foul. But then\n\n104\n00:05:01.030 --> 00:05:01.280\nI thought,\n\n105\n00:05:01.280 --> 00:05:04.110\nwell, I got the technical. I'm just going to say one more thing to this guy\n\n106\n00:05:04.110 --> 00:05:06.400\nover here. And, you know,\n\n107\n00:05:06.400 --> 00:05:10.730\nand then I got thrown out. That was not something that I was trying to do on\n\n108\n00:05:10.730 --> 00:05:12.080\npurpose. Now, when I\n\n109\n00:05:12.080 --> 00:05:16.370\nwatch back, I can see why people would think because I probably shouldn't have\n\n110\n00:05:16.370 --> 00:05:17.920\nsaid the next thing.\n\n111\n00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:21.100\nBut, you know, we're in the SEC conference and you got Kim Mulkey and Big Sh\n\n112\n00:05:21.100 --> 00:05:22.320\naper and Don Staley.\n\n113\n00:05:22.320 --> 00:05:26.400\nI'm like, I'm not going to get kicked out for this. And they kicked me out. But\n\n114\n00:05:26.400 --> 00:05:27.520\nmy team's response\n\n115\n00:05:27.520 --> 00:05:30.990\nwas incredible. And that's what I mean. Like, things happen the way that they\n\n116\n00:05:30.990 --> 00:05:32.000\nshould. And if I\n\n117\n00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:35.120\nknow that they would respond that way, I would have gotten kicked out sooner.\n\n118\n00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:40.880\nThat's funny. Well, you're having so much fun getting that technical. You just\n\n119\n00:05:40.880 --> 00:05:41.760\nhad to keep going.\n\n120\n00:05:41.760 --> 00:05:48.150\nYou couldn't stop. You know, you have to do things to like keep your emotions\n\n121\n00:05:48.150 --> 00:05:48.560\nin check\n\n122\n00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:53.910\nup when you go into a game. And at times like this is a coach or you just let\n\n123\n00:05:53.910 --> 00:05:54.640\nit roll.\n\n124\n00:05:54.640 --> 00:05:59.570\nThat I've spent a lot of time, especially when I became a head coach on\n\n125\n00:05:59.570 --> 00:06:00.320\nlearning how to\n\n126\n00:06:00.320 --> 00:06:06.320\nmanage my own emotions, manage my own expectations, my own competitive drive.\n\n127\n00:06:06.320 --> 00:06:06.960\nBecause at the end of\n\n128\n00:06:06.960 --> 00:06:12.370\nthe day, this isn't about me. This is their journey. This is the team that I\n\n129\n00:06:12.370 --> 00:06:12.480\nhave.\n\n130\n00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:16.800\nThey don't ever get these years back. And I've been coaching now from his 25\n\n131\n00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:17.440\nyears.\n\n132\n00:06:17.440 --> 00:06:21.220\nAnd I'll have another team next year and the year after that. But this is the\n\n133\n00:06:21.220 --> 00:06:21.840\nlast time this\n\n134\n00:06:21.840 --> 00:06:26.830\nteam will be together. So when I first became a head coach, it took me a minute\n\n135\n00:06:26.830 --> 00:06:27.520\nto figure out who\n\n136\n00:06:27.520 --> 00:06:30.780\nI was because I worked for Coach Ariem. And I played for Coach Ariem. But my\n\n137\n00:06:30.780 --> 00:06:31.600\ndemeanor is not\n\n138\n00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:36.640\nlike his. And so I felt like I had to be something different than who I was to\n\n139\n00:06:36.640 --> 00:06:38.080\nbe a good head coach.\n\n140\n00:06:38.080 --> 00:06:43.200\nAnd that actually proved to be very untrue. And I spent a lot of time. I'm very\n\n141\n00:06:43.200 --> 00:06:44.320\nfaithful,\n\n142\n00:06:44.320 --> 00:06:48.540\nspiritual. So now I spend time in the morning just grounding myself and my\n\n143\n00:06:48.540 --> 00:06:48.960\nfaith\n\n144\n00:06:48.960 --> 00:06:55.040\nin my purpose and the things that make me who I am that are outside of coaching\n\n145\n00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:55.040\n.\n\n146\n00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:58.960\nAnd that keeps me calm and available to show up for my team in any and every\n\n147\n00:06:58.960 --> 00:06:59.600\nway they need.\n\n148\n00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:04.080\nI got to hear the story of how you got the nickname of tournament Shay.\n\n149\n00:07:04.080 --> 00:07:11.200\nWho told you that? I've got sources.\n\n150\n00:07:11.200 --> 00:07:18.880\nTournament Shay, it was the practices that after our conference tournament,\n\n151\n00:07:18.880 --> 00:07:24.800\nI think just the level of attention and detail, the sense of urgency. I like\n\n152\n00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:26.160\ncompeting. I love to\n\n153\n00:07:26.160 --> 00:07:33.780\nwin. And what's a better tournament to win or championship to win or trophy to\n\n154\n00:07:33.780 --> 00:07:34.080\nwin than\n\n155\n00:07:34.080 --> 00:07:39.520\nMarch Madness, the NCAA tournament and win this basketball. That's when I knew\n\n156\n00:07:39.520 --> 00:07:40.240\nI needed to play\n\n157\n00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:44.320\nmy best. And that's what I lived for. Those moments as a competitor were what I\n\n158\n00:07:44.320 --> 00:07:45.280\nlived for.\n\n159\n00:07:45.280 --> 00:07:50.480\nSo I would always ratchet up a notch. And just like, there's a sense of urgency\n\n160\n00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:50.960\nhere. I want to\n\n161\n00:07:50.960 --> 00:07:55.440\nplay great. I want to play great for my team. I want to win. You won a lot when\n\n162\n00:07:55.440 --> 00:07:55.680\nyou're\n\n163\n00:07:55.680 --> 00:08:01.440\nConnecticut as a player, a national champion, six times as an assistant coach.\n\n164\n00:08:01.440 --> 00:08:07.440\nWhat's the biggest leadership lesson winning like that in such a big way taught\n\n165\n00:08:07.440 --> 00:08:07.680\nyou?\n\n166\n00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:13.120\nThere's no secret formula. I think when you are on the outside looking into the\n\n167\n00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:13.680\nprogram that I\n\n168\n00:08:13.680 --> 00:08:17.360\nwas a part of at UConn and the way that we won, the championships that we won,\n\n169\n00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:18.240\nthe fashion that we\n\n170\n00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:22.220\nwon them in. It's like, well, there's a reason, right? They have all the best\n\n171\n00:08:22.220 --> 00:08:23.360\nplayers and their\n\n172\n00:08:23.360 --> 00:08:31.290\nconferences week. And all the excuses. But the reality was, we just, we did the\n\n173\n00:08:31.290 --> 00:08:32.080\nwork really well.\n\n174\n00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:38.000\nAnd this is the most important part. We had the right people. So you have lots\n\n175\n00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:39.280\nof talent and skill\n\n176\n00:08:39.280 --> 00:08:43.950\nin the world and business and sports and all the things that we're trying to do\n\n177\n00:08:43.950 --> 00:08:44.720\n. But you have to\n\n178\n00:08:44.720 --> 00:08:49.660\nhave the right people that have the intangible characteristics that you cannot\n\n179\n00:08:49.660 --> 00:08:50.320\ngive them,\n\n180\n00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:54.240\nthat you cannot coach them to have. They have to have them. And then you have\n\n181\n00:08:54.240 --> 00:08:55.120\nto continue to\n\n182\n00:08:55.120 --> 00:09:00.320\ninspire them and guide them to become better basketball players. But you can't\n\n183\n00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:00.960\ncoach those\n\n184\n00:09:00.960 --> 00:09:05.450\nintangible qualities that make a winner a winner. You can't. And I thought that\n\n185\n00:09:05.450 --> 00:09:06.080\nwas what we did\n\n186\n00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:10.200\nreally well at UConn was that we just brought winners into the program and then\n\n187\n00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:10.880\nwe coached\n\n188\n00:09:10.880 --> 00:09:14.800\nbasketball. And what's a national championship story that gives us a peek into\n\n189\n00:09:14.800 --> 00:09:15.440\nyour leadership\n\n190\n00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:21.280\nstyle? Gosh, I don't even know. A national championship story or just a story?\n\n191\n00:09:21.280 --> 00:09:22.320\nA national\n\n192\n00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:26.000\nchampionship story. When you're on that big stage, you have the big game.\n\n193\n00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:30.160\nWhat stuck out to me, especially when we won the first one when I was a player,\n\n194\n00:09:30.160 --> 00:09:36.960\nit was so amazing, right? That moment, we worked, I worked my whole life. And\n\n195\n00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:38.480\nthis many years in\n\n196\n00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:42.260\ncollege, and I had been through two ACLs and lots of really tough things, like\n\n197\n00:09:42.260 --> 00:09:43.440\nall athletes go through.\n\n198\n00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:49.600\nBut then that moment leaves. You celebrate, you get the trophy, you go to the\n\n199\n00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:50.000\nhotel,\n\n200\n00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:52.720\nand then you wake up the next morning and you go to your parade and it's like,\n\n201\n00:09:52.720 --> 00:09:55.600\nokay, are you going to do it again next year? And I was like, what?\n\n202\n00:09:55.600 --> 00:10:03.040\nWow, that's it. We're going to keep it moving. So I think two things about that\n\n203\n00:10:03.040 --> 00:10:04.160\nthat taught me\n\n204\n00:10:04.160 --> 00:10:08.830\nwas like, number one, we're going to celebrate everything along the way. Here,\n\n205\n00:10:08.830 --> 00:10:09.280\nwe're going to\n\n206\n00:10:09.280 --> 00:10:12.760\ncelebrate all the small victories. The ones that other people are like, okay,\n\n207\n00:10:12.760 --> 00:10:13.280\nno big deal,\n\n208\n00:10:13.280 --> 00:10:16.320\nwe're going to celebrate them here because that's part of it. That's part of\n\n209\n00:10:16.320 --> 00:10:16.960\nwhat\n\n210\n00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:20.430\nthis journey is leading us to when we get to where we're going, and that's\n\n211\n00:10:20.430 --> 00:10:21.520\nchampionships.\n\n212\n00:10:21.520 --> 00:10:25.520\nAnd the second part of it is like, we're not going to get too high and too low.\n\n213\n00:10:25.520 --> 00:10:27.280\nSo when, you know,\n\n214\n00:10:27.280 --> 00:10:31.250\nwhen we win, when we lose, we're just going to stick to like celebrating those\n\n215\n00:10:31.250 --> 00:10:31.680\nthings,\n\n216\n00:10:31.680 --> 00:10:34.720\nand then we got to get back to work because either way we're going to learn\n\n217\n00:10:34.720 --> 00:10:35.360\nsomething about\n\n218\n00:10:35.360 --> 00:10:39.440\nourselves, and there's always a way to improve. You know, when I was at Pepsi\n\n219\n00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:40.400\nand then at Young\n\n220\n00:10:40.400 --> 00:10:44.720\nBrands, you know, we would hire people from these great companies like Procter\n\n221\n00:10:44.720 --> 00:10:45.600\nand Gamble,\n\n222\n00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:49.380\ngreat package goods companies like General Mills, and they had this great\n\n223\n00:10:49.380 --> 00:10:49.920\npedigree,\n\n224\n00:10:49.920 --> 00:10:54.000\njust like yours at Yukon. You know, you come from Yukon and they come in and\n\n225\n00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:55.120\nthey talk when I was\n\n226\n00:10:55.120 --> 00:11:00.880\nat Procter, we did it this way. When I was at GM, we did it. Did you have to,\n\n227\n00:11:00.880 --> 00:11:01.520\ndid you go through\n\n228\n00:11:01.520 --> 00:11:06.950\nthat? People get sick of hearing about Yukon or how do you manage, how did you\n\n229\n00:11:06.950 --> 00:11:07.760\nmanage the fact that\n\n230\n00:11:07.760 --> 00:11:11.760\nyou had such a great pedigree and you had been a part of so many things that\n\n231\n00:11:11.760 --> 00:11:12.800\npeople get sick of\n\n232\n00:11:12.800 --> 00:11:17.730\nhearing about Yukon or do you even mention Yukon? No, I try really hard not to\n\n233\n00:11:17.730 --> 00:11:19.440\nhear. I mean,\n\n234\n00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:24.960\nit is such a huge part of my story, but also, you know, Yukon gave me the same\n\n235\n00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:25.280\nthing that\n\n236\n00:11:25.280 --> 00:11:30.220\nVanderbilt's giving me, which was an opportunity. And so like, I do have this\n\n237\n00:11:30.220 --> 00:11:32.720\npedigree, but it was\n\n238\n00:11:32.720 --> 00:11:37.650\nearly on, it was tough. I will tell you the truth. I tried to run Yukon's\n\n239\n00:11:37.650 --> 00:11:38.400\noffense here\n\n240\n00:11:38.400 --> 00:11:42.790\nmy first year and we were averaging 40 points a game like five games into the\n\n241\n00:11:42.790 --> 00:11:43.760\nseason and it's like,\n\n242\n00:11:43.760 --> 00:11:48.700\nokay, this, this isn't something like, I have to do this my way. I have to find\n\n243\n00:11:48.700 --> 00:11:49.680\nout who I am as a\n\n244\n00:11:49.680 --> 00:11:53.820\ncoach, what I brought to the table that contributed to all the success that we\n\n245\n00:11:53.820 --> 00:11:55.360\nhave. And that's important,\n\n246\n00:11:55.360 --> 00:12:02.800\nright? I am not Yukon. I am me. And what I brought to the table helped us win.\n\n247\n00:12:02.800 --> 00:12:03.600\nI hope,\n\n248\n00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:07.430\nhelped us be really great, helped those players grow. And it'll be something\n\n249\n00:12:07.430 --> 00:12:08.640\nthat they remember\n\n250\n00:12:08.640 --> 00:12:12.150\nfor the rest of their basketball careers or hopefully their lives. It's the\n\n251\n00:12:12.150 --> 00:12:12.640\nsame thing I'm\n\n252\n00:12:12.640 --> 00:12:17.570\ndoing here. I just had to kind of ground myself, who am I as a coach? What is\n\n253\n00:12:17.570 --> 00:12:18.720\nimportant? What did\n\n254\n00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:22.350\nI learn that I can help teach these young people about the game of basketball,\n\n255\n00:12:22.350 --> 00:12:23.840\nabout competing,\n\n256\n00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:30.360\nabout confidence, and about, you know, just kind of living a certain way so\n\n257\n00:12:30.360 --> 00:12:31.760\nthat they can be successful\n\n258\n00:12:31.760 --> 00:12:36.200\nwell beyond the years that they're playing in basketball. But you're right. It\n\n259\n00:12:36.200 --> 00:12:37.120\nwas initially,\n\n260\n00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:39.920\nit was a little bit of a shock simply because I spent half my life there.\n\n261\n00:12:39.920 --> 00:12:44.850\nYou know, you mentioned confidence and I heard you talk about confidence in the\n\n262\n00:12:44.850 --> 00:12:45.360\nsense that it's\n\n263\n00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:50.310\nimportant to have elite confidence. You know, I hadn't heard anybody use that\n\n264\n00:12:50.310 --> 00:12:51.280\nphrase before,\n\n265\n00:12:51.280 --> 00:12:58.560\nbut what does elite confidence mean to you? Elite confidence means that you\n\n266\n00:12:58.560 --> 00:13:00.240\ntrust your\n\n267\n00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:06.760\npreparation, that you do the work necessary to have the results that you want,\n\n268\n00:13:06.760 --> 00:13:08.320\nbut that you're not\n\n269\n00:13:08.320 --> 00:13:12.850\ndefined by the results, right? You trust your preparation. I'm going to work. I\n\n270\n00:13:12.850 --> 00:13:13.360\n'm going to do\n\n271\n00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:17.430\nall these things. You know, I'm going to make sure that I take care of my\n\n272\n00:13:17.430 --> 00:13:18.320\nbusiness and I'm\n\n273\n00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:22.630\ngoing to prepare. And then I'm going to go play this game. And whether we win\n\n274\n00:13:22.630 --> 00:13:23.040\nor lose,\n\n275\n00:13:23.040 --> 00:13:26.240\nit's not going to define me. It's not going to shake my confidence. It's not\n\n276\n00:13:26.240 --> 00:13:27.120\ngoing to make me\n\n277\n00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:31.790\nbelieve I'm something I'm not, whether that's better or worse than I actually\n\n278\n00:13:31.790 --> 00:13:32.640\nam. You got to\n\n279\n00:13:32.640 --> 00:13:36.560\nstay grounded in who you are, you got to know who you are, and you have to\n\n280\n00:13:36.560 --> 00:13:37.680\noperate like that\n\n281\n00:13:37.680 --> 00:13:41.600\nevery single day, no matter what, that is elite confidence.\n\n282\n00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:45.650\nAnd what was it, Shay, that that made you want to get into coaching to begin\n\n283\n00:13:45.650 --> 00:13:46.160\nwith?\n\n284\n00:13:46.160 --> 00:13:52.070\nSo when I was growing up in North Carolina, you know, we had my mom was a\n\n285\n00:13:52.070 --> 00:13:53.600\nbasketball player at\n\n286\n00:13:53.600 --> 00:13:58.290\nNorth Carolina, a really great one. And so I was in sports pretty early. I grew\n\n287\n00:13:58.290 --> 00:13:59.520\nup in Fayetteville,\n\n288\n00:13:59.520 --> 00:14:05.570\nand there wasn't a lot of like great female athletes at that time in that space\n\n289\n00:14:05.570 --> 00:14:06.560\n. But I knew\n\n290\n00:14:06.560 --> 00:14:10.350\nthat I wanted to be a great one. And I also knew like my path probably was\n\n291\n00:14:10.350 --> 00:14:11.280\ngoing to be to get a\n\n292\n00:14:11.280 --> 00:14:15.950\nscholarship. And I wanted to leave so that I could figure out who I was because\n\n293\n00:14:15.950 --> 00:14:16.720\nmy mom was like a\n\n294\n00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:20.380\nbig name in the area. I had done a lot of great things. I wanted to bet on\n\n295\n00:14:20.380 --> 00:14:21.680\nmyself a little bit.\n\n296\n00:14:21.680 --> 00:14:27.110\nAnd so when I went to UConn, I didn't know anybody. I had no idea what I got\n\n297\n00:14:27.110 --> 00:14:29.280\nmyself into. And you\n\n298\n00:14:29.280 --> 00:14:31.950\nknow, I'd have a car, I couldn't drive home because it was really hard. I\n\n299\n00:14:31.950 --> 00:14:32.640\nwanted to leave.\n\n300\n00:14:32.640 --> 00:14:37.680\nEarly on, like this is a lot more than I thought it was going to be. But the\n\n301\n00:14:37.680 --> 00:14:39.280\ncoaches that I had,\n\n302\n00:14:39.280 --> 00:14:43.760\nthe mentors that I had, I mean from early on, always pushed me from grade\n\n303\n00:14:43.760 --> 00:14:45.360\nschool, middle school, high\n\n304\n00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:50.830\nschool, AAU. And then I got to college. They changed my life because they\n\n305\n00:14:50.830 --> 00:14:52.560\nwouldn't allow me to be\n\n306\n00:14:52.560 --> 00:14:56.950\nanything less. They wouldn't allow me to give up on myself. They wouldn't allow\n\n307\n00:14:56.950 --> 00:14:58.560\nme to not show up\n\n308\n00:14:58.560 --> 00:15:01.210\nand do the things that I could do. And they guided me through all those tough\n\n309\n00:15:01.210 --> 00:15:02.560\nmoments. So\n\n310\n00:15:02.560 --> 00:15:07.990\nI figure what's a better path in life? If I can't play basketball until I die,\n\n311\n00:15:07.990 --> 00:15:08.480\nwhich I can't,\n\n312\n00:15:09.760 --> 00:15:12.880\nthen what's a better path in life to help someone else achieve their dreams and\n\n313\n00:15:12.880 --> 00:15:13.760\nreach beyond\n\n314\n00:15:13.760 --> 00:15:17.550\ntheir potential that they even knew was possible for themselves because of\n\n315\n00:15:17.550 --> 00:15:18.560\nthose people my life\n\n316\n00:15:18.560 --> 00:15:22.350\nwas changed. And I want to do the same thing now. That's great. And your first\n\n317\n00:15:22.350 --> 00:15:23.120\ncoaching job,\n\n318\n00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:27.040\nas I understand it, was a pit. You know, what, what did that, what did that job\n\n319\n00:15:27.040 --> 00:15:27.760\nteach you?\n\n320\n00:15:27.760 --> 00:15:35.540\nHow to lose. And how do you lose? It taught me, it taught me how to lose\n\n321\n00:15:35.540 --> 00:15:38.480\nwithout losing myself.\n\n322\n00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:43.410\nIt taught me, you know, we, we, I think I lost like 10 games in college in the\n\n323\n00:15:43.410 --> 00:15:44.000\nfive years I was\n\n324\n00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:51.660\nthere. And we lost 22 games, my first year of pit. And I had no idea, like, how\n\n325\n00:15:51.660 --> 00:15:52.480\ndo you continue to\n\n326\n00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:57.420\nencourage kids? How do you continue to, you know, help them believe that they\n\n327\n00:15:57.420 --> 00:15:58.080\ncan accomplish\n\n328\n00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:01.570\nthings and, you know, keep their head above water? I had not seen any kind of\n\n329\n00:16:01.570 --> 00:16:02.640\nlosing like that ever\n\n330\n00:16:02.640 --> 00:16:07.720\nin my life. But I knew that that we were just trying to maximize our truthful\n\n331\n00:16:07.720 --> 00:16:09.120\npotential as a team\n\n332\n00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:12.900\nthat we were then, right? And then we were going to continue to build on that.\n\n333\n00:16:12.900 --> 00:16:13.600\nSo thank goodness\n\n334\n00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:18.530\nfor Agnes Bernato, the head coach there that hired me, I had no experience. And\n\n335\n00:16:18.530 --> 00:16:19.120\nshe and the\n\n336\n00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:23.390\nstaff that was there with her really helped me learn what it looked like to\n\n337\n00:16:23.390 --> 00:16:24.640\nbuild a program.\n\n338\n00:16:24.640 --> 00:16:28.120\nSo at UConn, I was on the tail end of the building. They had already won a\n\n339\n00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:28.480\nnational\n\n340\n00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:32.560\nchampionship. And, and I was like their first national recruit. But we, we didn\n\n341\n00:16:32.560 --> 00:16:33.680\n't lose a lot.\n\n342\n00:16:33.680 --> 00:16:38.160\nAnd at pit, we were talking about our goal is a sweet 16. And we win six games\n\n343\n00:16:38.160 --> 00:16:39.040\nin our first year.\n\n344\n00:16:39.040 --> 00:16:42.640\nLike, how do you, how, what does that look like? And how do you marry the two?\n\n345\n00:16:42.640 --> 00:16:43.200\nAnd how do you get\n\n346\n00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:48.320\nfrom here to here? And I learned that there. I learned how to build a program,\n\n347\n00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:48.800\nhow to\n\n348\n00:16:48.800 --> 00:16:54.230\nstay really focused on the process, how to infuse positivity when all that's\n\n349\n00:16:54.230 --> 00:16:55.600\nhappening is like\n\n350\n00:16:55.600 --> 00:17:00.110\nnegativity around the results. But you can see the growth. And it also taught\n\n351\n00:17:00.110 --> 00:17:00.720\nme how to stay\n\n352\n00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:04.640\nmeasured, right? How to, how to just stay measured as a coach and a human being\n\n353\n00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:06.000\nand ground myself\n\n354\n00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:08.750\noutside of the results is what we're preaching now. I learned that at\n\n355\n00:17:08.750 --> 00:17:09.280\nPittsburgh.\n\n356\n00:17:09.280 --> 00:17:15.040\nAnd then you, you go to UConn and you stay as an assistant for 13 seasons. And\n\n357\n00:17:15.040 --> 00:17:15.760\nI thought that was\n\n358\n00:17:15.760 --> 00:17:20.690\nfascinating. I mean, you know, I mean, to, I know coach Ariella is a great\n\n359\n00:17:20.690 --> 00:17:21.760\ncoach and he's left to\n\n360\n00:17:21.760 --> 00:17:26.720\nlearn. And it was your all modern and all that 13 seasons as assistant being in\n\n361\n00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:28.000\na support role.\n\n362\n00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:33.840\nYou know, when you're a leader, that had to be a little tough.\n\n363\n00:17:33.840 --> 00:17:40.960\nI mean, not really. I think it wasn't for me. I can see how it would be tough\n\n364\n00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:42.400\nfor others. I felt\n\n365\n00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:47.340\nlike my role there was really important and, and that I was valued. I felt like\n\n366\n00:17:47.340 --> 00:17:48.080\nI was learning\n\n367\n00:17:48.080 --> 00:17:51.280\nevery single year. It would be different if I didn't feel that. Coach Ariana at\n\n368\n00:17:51.280 --> 00:17:52.480\nthe time as well was\n\n369\n00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:56.480\nthe Olympic coach. So he was spending a lot of time with USA basketball. He was\n\n370\n00:17:56.480 --> 00:17:56.800\nthe Olympic\n\n371\n00:17:56.800 --> 00:18:00.880\ncoach for two straight Olympics. We had a lot of responsibility as assistants.\n\n372\n00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:02.160\nHe gave us a lot\n\n373\n00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:07.920\nof responsibility. He wasn't a micromanager. He helped me grow into really\n\n374\n00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:09.280\nlearning how to be,\n\n375\n00:18:09.280 --> 00:18:14.210\nyou know, a head coach just by the ways that he trusted me and the\n\n376\n00:18:14.210 --> 00:18:15.520\nresponsibility he gave us\n\n377\n00:18:15.520 --> 00:18:20.950\noutside of his actual role, which was really cool. And then, you know, it's\n\n378\n00:18:20.950 --> 00:18:22.560\nalso part of who I am.\n\n379\n00:18:22.560 --> 00:18:27.680\nYou know, I helped build that. The things that I was doing on a day-to-day\n\n380\n00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:28.560\nbasis to me\n\n381\n00:18:28.560 --> 00:18:34.000\nmattered and they were valuable. And as long as I'm still learning, then I'm\n\n382\n00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:35.120\ngood where I'm at.\n\n383\n00:18:35.120 --> 00:18:39.790\nAnd I knew at some point, say fate would tap me on the shoulder and that there\n\n384\n00:18:39.790 --> 00:18:40.160\nwould be an\n\n385\n00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:45.920\nopportunity. And my only job outside of my job at UConn of coaching was to be\n\n386\n00:18:45.920 --> 00:18:46.640\nprepared for that\n\n387\n00:18:46.640 --> 00:18:49.960\nmoment. I might not be ready, but I was going to be prepared because I was\n\n388\n00:18:49.960 --> 00:18:50.800\ngoing to make sure\n\n389\n00:18:50.800 --> 00:18:55.760\nthat I did the work. That's great. You know, I remember one of my mentors said,\n\n390\n00:18:55.760 --> 00:18:56.000\nyou know,\n\n391\n00:18:56.000 --> 00:18:59.790\nI know you want to be a president or a CEO someday. Just why don't you work on\n\n392\n00:18:59.790 --> 00:19:00.720\nbeing a good one?\n\n393\n00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:05.760\nAnd then see what happens. You know, I thought that was pretty good. But you\n\n394\n00:19:05.760 --> 00:19:06.400\ngot some great\n\n395\n00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:11.200\nexperience there. And I imagine that you felt like a partner there.\n\n396\n00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:15.120\nI did. I did. I felt like a partner in like that. That's kind of the\n\n397\n00:19:15.120 --> 00:19:16.240\nenvironment that I wanted\n\n398\n00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:20.160\nto create here. Think anybody like, we all want to do great things and somebody\n\n399\n00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:21.200\nis going to be\n\n400\n00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:24.220\nthe leader, right? Someone is going to be the head coach. But I know my\n\n401\n00:19:24.220 --> 00:19:25.360\nweaknesses and I know\n\n402\n00:19:25.360 --> 00:19:30.480\nmy strengths and I need to be confident enough to put people around me who fill\n\n403\n00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:31.280\nthose gaps.\n\n404\n00:19:31.280 --> 00:19:36.710\nIs exactly what I did at UConn. And I felt like I was really good at that. And\n\n405\n00:19:36.710 --> 00:19:37.200\nthen here,\n\n406\n00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:41.120\nI have I have gaps as a head coach because I was an assistant for my whole\n\n407\n00:19:41.120 --> 00:19:42.320\ncareer. And I'm learning\n\n408\n00:19:42.320 --> 00:19:47.250\nthose kind of as I go. But I have hired great people who are loyal, who fill\n\n409\n00:19:47.250 --> 00:19:48.160\nthose gaps, who are\n\n410\n00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:51.840\nchallenged and skilled. But again, going back to what I said earlier about what\n\n411\n00:19:51.840 --> 00:19:52.480\nwould the magic\n\n412\n00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:57.160\nis that UConn is that they're great people. They're the right people for me to\n\n413\n00:19:57.160 --> 00:19:58.480\nbe able to do my job.\n\n414\n00:19:58.480 --> 00:20:04.010\nWell, I know I needed a team full of great people who can do their job well as\n\n415\n00:20:04.010 --> 00:20:04.640\nwell.\n\n416\n00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:08.900\nSo you got a Vanderbilt five years ago. What do you inherit when you walk in\n\n417\n00:20:08.900 --> 00:20:09.840\nthe door?\n\n418\n00:20:09.840 --> 00:20:16.480\nWell, so when we got here, it was after COVID, right? So we got here in 2021.\n\n419\n00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:17.280\nIt was right after\n\n420\n00:20:17.280 --> 00:20:21.560\nthe bubble season. They had, you know, everyone was in the bubble. And this\n\n421\n00:20:21.560 --> 00:20:23.200\nteam had was a little\n\n422\n00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:26.840\nbit broken. They were one of three teams, I think, in Division One that opted\n\n423\n00:20:26.840 --> 00:20:27.840\nout of the season.\n\n424\n00:20:27.840 --> 00:20:33.920\nThere was a ton of injuries. There was a ton of uncertainty. I think the two of\n\n425\n00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:35.120\ntheir best players,\n\n426\n00:20:35.120 --> 00:20:39.040\ntwo or three of the best players had already transferred out before I even got\n\n427\n00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:39.520\nhired.\n\n428\n00:20:39.520 --> 00:20:44.480\nIt became more about healing and just really creating a safe environment where\n\n429\n00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:45.040\nwe could build\n\n430\n00:20:45.040 --> 00:20:49.000\nthe foundation of a culture that could be a championship culture and a winning\n\n431\n00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:49.680\nculture.\n\n432\n00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:54.350\nBut it really started with just building relationships with the people here.\n\n433\n00:20:54.350 --> 00:20:55.360\nAnd we didn't hear it\n\n434\n00:20:55.360 --> 00:21:00.480\na lot of winning, but we had inherited some really good people. And we had a\n\n435\n00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:01.680\nstrong community\n\n436\n00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:05.360\naround us that gave us a great place to start. What did you see that you knew\n\n437\n00:21:05.360 --> 00:21:06.080\nyou had to name\n\n438\n00:21:06.080 --> 00:21:11.510\nout loud, even back then when it was hard for people to hear? Lack of\n\n439\n00:21:11.510 --> 00:21:15.680\nconnection, lack of trust,\n\n440\n00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:22.960\nlack of talent, lack of like a real understanding of what this looks like to be\n\n441\n00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:23.520\na part of,\n\n442\n00:21:23.520 --> 00:21:30.380\nand what we're capable of. And so that's what I mean. It wasn't even their\n\n443\n00:21:30.380 --> 00:21:31.280\nfault.\n\n444\n00:21:31.280 --> 00:21:36.240\nAnd so in that way, it shouldn't be hard to hear. We're all here now. So let's\n\n445\n00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:36.640\nmake sure\n\n446\n00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:40.880\nthat we bring our best to the table. And we've got to take four steps backwards\n\n447\n00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:42.240\nand really start\n\n448\n00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:46.910\nwith our people and pour into our people so that when we start to coach them\n\n449\n00:21:46.910 --> 00:21:47.600\nand teach them and\n\n450\n00:21:47.600 --> 00:21:52.020\nguide them, they will trust us and they will follow us. But we have to start\n\n451\n00:21:52.020 --> 00:21:52.960\nthere. And so\n\n452\n00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:59.710\nthat was really it. Once you define reality for your staff and your team, how\n\n453\n00:21:59.710 --> 00:22:01.280\ndid you create enough\n\n454\n00:22:01.280 --> 00:22:06.800\nhope that people would actually believe that things were going to change?\n\n455\n00:22:06.800 --> 00:22:08.240\nBecause when you've\n\n456\n00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:13.170\ngot a history of losing or not being at the top, you got to get people to\n\n457\n00:22:13.170 --> 00:22:13.840\nbelieve it's sort of\n\n458\n00:22:13.840 --> 00:22:19.840\nlike that Ted Lasso where he puts the belief sign up on the wall. Yeah, I mean,\n\n459\n00:22:19.840 --> 00:22:20.400\nit's probably\n\n460\n00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:26.480\ntoo full for me. The first is that Vanderbilt has a story tradition of success.\n\n461\n00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:28.320\nSo before those\n\n462\n00:22:28.320 --> 00:22:31.990\nfive years before we got here, before I was hired, they were really, really\n\n463\n00:22:31.990 --> 00:22:33.280\ngood. They were going to\n\n464\n00:22:33.280 --> 00:22:37.880\nlike, you know, I think it was somewhere in the 20s, 25 street NCAA tournaments\n\n465\n00:22:37.880 --> 00:22:38.480\n. They were going\n\n466\n00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:43.910\nto Sweet 16s and the lead 8s. They won SEC championships. I hired a assistant\n\n467\n00:22:43.910 --> 00:22:44.720\ncoach who was\n\n468\n00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:48.720\nan all-American here and won an SEC championship here and went to an elite 8.\n\n469\n00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:49.520\nSo someone who had\n\n470\n00:22:49.520 --> 00:22:52.870\nwalked in the shoes that our student athletes were wanting to walk in. And\n\n471\n00:22:52.870 --> 00:22:54.000\nwhile this team that we\n\n472\n00:22:54.000 --> 00:23:00.390\ntook over had lost a lot, I have it. And Vanderbilt in general hasn't. And I\n\n473\n00:23:00.390 --> 00:23:01.920\nthink it was more just\n\n474\n00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:05.700\nhaving faith and like, this is what we're here to restore. This is what we're\n\n475\n00:23:05.700 --> 00:23:07.200\nhere to revitalize.\n\n476\n00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:11.440\nAnd this is how we're going to do it. I need you 100% on board because this\n\n477\n00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:12.240\ntrain is moving in\n\n478\n00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:16.480\nthat direction and we're not going backwards. So if you want on this train, you\n\n479\n00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:17.120\n've got to be on\n\n480\n00:23:17.120 --> 00:23:20.760\nboard and we're moving in that direction. All right, throw me in coach. I'm\n\n481\n00:23:20.760 --> 00:23:21.360\nready to go.\n\n482\n00:23:22.560 --> 00:23:30.180\nAnd before this season, Vandy was picked 8th in the preseason SEC poll. And you\n\n483\n00:23:30.180 --> 00:23:30.800\nstart out\n\n484\n00:23:30.800 --> 00:23:36.640\n20 and 0. What does it feel like to be this like that? You know, and how did\n\n485\n00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:38.160\nyou use that lack of\n\n486\n00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:45.480\nrespect to drive your team or did you? Yeah, I don't. I don't care. Respect\n\n487\n00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:47.040\nfully, I don't care\n\n488\n00:23:47.040 --> 00:23:52.100\nwhere people rank us. I know that those things that you vote on are subjective\n\n489\n00:23:52.100 --> 00:23:53.520\ncoaches vote on that.\n\n490\n00:23:53.520 --> 00:23:57.600\nThey vote on awards, awards that we get are voted on. And I know there's a lot\n\n491\n00:23:57.600 --> 00:23:57.920\nof thought\n\n492\n00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:01.120\nthat goes into it. So I'm not trying to be disrespectful. But I want to win\n\n493\n00:24:01.120 --> 00:24:02.720\nthings that you can't vote on.\n\n494\n00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:07.900\nI care about the things you can't vote on. So where we are in the preseason\n\n495\n00:24:07.900 --> 00:24:08.320\npoll,\n\n496\n00:24:08.320 --> 00:24:14.400\nit doesn't matter to me. And you know, until we continue to go in the direction\n\n497\n00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:15.200\nwe're going and\n\n498\n00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:18.090\ndo some of the things like we've done this year to make people understand\n\n499\n00:24:18.090 --> 00:24:18.800\nexactly what we're\n\n500\n00:24:18.800 --> 00:24:21.440\ncapable of, that we're not going anywhere, that we are here to win\n\n501\n00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:22.880\nchampionships, then that's where\n\n502\n00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:26.090\nthey're going to vote us. But as we continue to take steps in the right\n\n503\n00:24:26.090 --> 00:24:27.040\ndirection and check\n\n504\n00:24:27.040 --> 00:24:32.180\nout boxes in order for us to be formidable and respectable, then they'll vote\n\n505\n00:24:32.180 --> 00:24:32.880\nus what they\n\n506\n00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:37.370\nvote us next year or the year after. I'm only concerned with where did we end\n\n507\n00:24:37.370 --> 00:24:37.840\nup?\n\n508\n00:24:37.840 --> 00:24:42.780\nDid we end up second? We ended up second, right? I knew that this team was\n\n509\n00:24:42.780 --> 00:24:44.080\ncapable of that finish.\n\n510\n00:24:44.080 --> 00:24:47.360\nI don't care what other people think, but I know what I think and I know what\n\n511\n00:24:47.360 --> 00:24:48.160\nthey think and that's\n\n512\n00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:51.670\nall that can matter to us. You know, I've heard you say something not I found\n\n513\n00:24:51.670 --> 00:24:52.480\nreally interesting.\n\n514\n00:24:52.480 --> 00:24:59.370\nI'm the weather. What do you mean by that? The way that I show up matters. So\n\n515\n00:24:59.370 --> 00:25:00.560\nwhen you we started\n\n516\n00:25:00.560 --> 00:25:05.760\ntalking earlier about how I have a calm demeanor and, you know, I am a certain\n\n517\n00:25:05.760 --> 00:25:06.560\nway because that's\n\n518\n00:25:06.560 --> 00:25:11.070\nwhat my group needs for me. When I come in here and I'm throwing lightning\n\n519\n00:25:11.070 --> 00:25:12.640\nbolts and thundercloughs\n\n520\n00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:18.240\nand my demeanor is not bringing great energy. I'm taking energy from people.\n\n521\n00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:18.880\nThey're walking\n\n522\n00:25:18.880 --> 00:25:22.160\non eggshells around me now. What's wrong with coach? Oh, she's now there's a\n\n523\n00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:23.520\ntime and a place for that.\n\n524\n00:25:23.520 --> 00:25:27.120\nBut if I'm angry, I'm going to tell you I'm angry and I'm going to tell you why\n\n525\n00:25:27.120 --> 00:25:27.600\n. I'm going to be\n\n526\n00:25:27.600 --> 00:25:31.280\nreally direct about it. But when I show up every day, whether it's a great day\n\n527\n00:25:31.280 --> 00:25:32.160\nor a tough day or\n\n528\n00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:35.770\na long day or a short day, I am the weather. When I walk in, I want people to\n\n529\n00:25:35.770 --> 00:25:37.120\nfeel like, hey,\n\n530\n00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:42.070\nshe's ready to go. It's sunshine today. Maybe some a little wind gusts from\n\n531\n00:25:42.070 --> 00:25:44.240\ntime to time to get\n\n532\n00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:49.710\npeople moving. But I'm going to show up and be very, very, very dependable in\n\n533\n00:25:49.710 --> 00:25:50.960\nthe way that\n\n534\n00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:55.280\npeople can interact with me. And I'm not a moody person. And I don't want\n\n535\n00:25:55.280 --> 00:25:56.080\npeople that are moody\n\n536\n00:25:56.080 --> 00:26:01.050\naround me. There's too much going on. Environments, high pressure, high intense\n\n537\n00:26:01.050 --> 00:26:02.000\n. I got to show up\n\n538\n00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:06.390\na certain way and I got to be that way all the time so that my team understands\n\n539\n00:26:06.390 --> 00:26:07.280\nwho I am and\n\n540\n00:26:07.280 --> 00:26:10.800\nwhat they're going to get from me. Hello, friends. I hope you're loving this\n\n541\n00:26:10.800 --> 00:26:11.920\nconversation between\n\n542\n00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:16.160\nDavid and Coach Ralph. As always, stay tuned to the very end of the episode.\n\n543\n00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:16.960\nDavid and I are going\n\n544\n00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:20.790\nto debrief some of the concepts that he talks about with Coach Ralph so that\n\n545\n00:26:20.790 --> 00:26:21.600\nyou have something\n\n546\n00:26:21.600 --> 00:26:26.070\nreally tangible that you can apply to your leadership and to your life. Enjoy\n\n547\n00:26:26.070 --> 00:26:26.560\nthe rest of\n\n548\n00:26:26.560 --> 00:26:31.040\nthis conversation and I will see you at the debrief. You referred to your faith\n\n549\n00:26:31.040 --> 00:26:32.320\na little bit earlier\n\n550\n00:26:32.320 --> 00:26:37.760\nabout how you use that to sort of ground you every day. Is there anything else\n\n551\n00:26:37.760 --> 00:26:38.480\nyou do to\n\n552\n00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:43.990\nmake sure that the weather report on you is pretty good every day. The weather\n\n553\n00:26:43.990 --> 00:26:44.720\nreport,\n\n554\n00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:52.340\nit is my faith. 100% is the number one thing. And the second, the second thing,\n\n555\n00:26:52.340 --> 00:26:53.680\n1A, my faith,\n\n556\n00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:59.480\nmy relationship with God, 1A is my family. I'm a mother. I have a seven year\n\n557\n00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:00.800\nold daughter.\n\n558\n00:27:00.800 --> 00:27:06.230\nI'm a wife. My mother moved here to live in this area so she can help with our\n\n559\n00:27:06.230 --> 00:27:06.480\ndaughter.\n\n560\n00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:13.760\nMy sister has three kids. We have family around the area. And then for me, no\n\n561\n00:27:13.760 --> 00:27:15.200\nmatter if I have\n\n562\n00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:19.120\na great day or a bad day, when I show up at home, I'm mommy and my daughter\n\n563\n00:27:19.120 --> 00:27:20.320\nneeds a snack and she\n\n564\n00:27:20.320 --> 00:27:23.710\nneeds me to give her a bath and like, will you watch a movie? And these are the\n\n565\n00:27:23.710 --> 00:27:24.400\ndays that I'm\n\n566\n00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:29.600\nnever going to get back. So I will never take that for granted, but it's also\n\n567\n00:27:29.600 --> 00:27:30.720\nbeen a great blessing\n\n568\n00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:35.710\nfor me to be a mom and a wife because it has taught me the true meaning of\n\n569\n00:27:35.710 --> 00:27:37.120\nconsistency\n\n570\n00:27:37.120 --> 00:27:40.400\nand just showing up for the people that need you to show up for them, no matter\n\n571\n00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:41.200\nwhat's going on for\n\n572\n00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:48.980\nyou. And as I understand as well, in your program, your team created five\n\n573\n00:27:48.980 --> 00:27:51.520\nstandards and you had the\n\n574\n00:27:51.520 --> 00:27:57.910\nteam develop those standards with you or maybe by themselves. Tell us about the\n\n575\n00:27:57.910 --> 00:27:58.800\nprocess you use\n\n576\n00:27:58.800 --> 00:28:02.800\nto get a ownership on what your team is really going to stand for.\n\n577\n00:28:02.800 --> 00:28:06.160\nIt's a great question. And we felt like we were missing that, you know,\n\n578\n00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:08.000\nespecially this year.\n\n579\n00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:12.940\nI had come in and laid out the standards and the values as they had coached.\n\n580\n00:28:12.940 --> 00:28:15.440\nAnd my staff had done\n\n581\n00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:19.650\nwork around it. And we just kind of gave them to our team like, this is what we\n\n582\n00:28:19.650 --> 00:28:21.040\n're about. And I did\n\n583\n00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:25.440\nfeel like there was a lack of ownership around those. And so as we were\n\n584\n00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:27.120\nbrainstorming last summer\n\n585\n00:28:27.120 --> 00:28:32.060\nabout how we could help them understand that they needed to take more ownership\n\n586\n00:28:32.060 --> 00:28:33.440\n, the idea of them\n\n587\n00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:37.490\ncoming up with them. But the process of it, not just like we're going to do\n\n588\n00:28:37.490 --> 00:28:38.560\nthis one day, right?\n\n589\n00:28:38.560 --> 00:28:45.630\nIt was a week long, weeks long process. And we involved ourselves just a little\n\n590\n00:28:45.630 --> 00:28:46.640\nbit. But then\n\n591\n00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:53.530\nI connected them with a former general here that works at Vanderbilt that has a\n\n592\n00:28:53.530 --> 00:28:54.880\nmilitary scholar\n\n593\n00:28:54.880 --> 00:28:59.140\nprogram at Vanderbilt and works with a bunch of the teams here in terms of team\n\n594\n00:28:59.140 --> 00:28:59.840\nbuilding\n\n595\n00:28:59.840 --> 00:29:05.680\nand leadership councils. He has been such a blessing to our program. He came in\n\n596\n00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:06.800\nand just kind of like,\n\n597\n00:29:06.800 --> 00:29:10.270\nI think when we removed ourselves from the room, the players felt like they\n\n598\n00:29:10.270 --> 00:29:10.720\ncould have\n\n599\n00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:15.200\nmore open conversations with themselves. They were able to kind of bounce some\n\n600\n00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:16.240\nideas off of\n\n601\n00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:23.200\nGeneral Brower and his experience in war and leading a group of young men, just\n\n602\n00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:23.680\nlike we were\n\n603\n00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:27.360\nleading them. And just like they were trying to lead each other, all of that\n\n604\n00:29:27.360 --> 00:29:28.640\nturned into them\n\n605\n00:29:28.640 --> 00:29:33.570\ndefining who they wanted to be this year. This is who we want to be. These are\n\n606\n00:29:33.570 --> 00:29:34.480\nour standards.\n\n607\n00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:37.370\nAnd we're going to talk about them and live them every single day. It was\n\n608\n00:29:37.370 --> 00:29:38.240\nreally, really cool. It\n\n609\n00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:43.170\nkind of took on a life of its own. But the process of it was awesome to witness\n\n610\n00:29:43.170 --> 00:29:43.200\n.\n\n611\n00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:46.800\nNow, I understand you get to pick one of those. What was yours?\n\n612\n00:29:46.800 --> 00:29:48.800\nBe a good person.\n\n613\n00:29:48.800 --> 00:29:52.240\nBe a good person. And give me a couple examples of the others.\n\n614\n00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:58.240\nBe a good person is mine. The teams was be a soldier, positive voice, unity,\n\n615\n00:29:58.240 --> 00:29:58.800\nand belief.\n\n616\n00:29:58.800 --> 00:30:05.320\nOne thing I know you obviously do is you watch a lot of film. You got to watch\n\n617\n00:30:05.320 --> 00:30:05.840\na lot of film.\n\n618\n00:30:05.840 --> 00:30:13.360\nDo you watch a lot of film on what you do as a coach as well?\n\n619\n00:30:13.360 --> 00:30:17.520\nI mean, I know players watch film and you watch other teams, whatever. But do\n\n620\n00:30:17.520 --> 00:30:18.960\nyou learn from film\n\n621\n00:30:18.960 --> 00:30:24.640\nyourself? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And listen. And this is really important.\n\n622\n00:30:24.640 --> 00:30:28.250\nThere isn't anything that I'm going to ask my players to do that I won't also\n\n623\n00:30:28.250 --> 00:30:28.960\ndo myself.\n\n624\n00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:35.600\nSo if I'm asking them review film, get in here and work harder. These are\n\n625\n00:30:35.600 --> 00:30:36.320\nskills that you don't\n\n626\n00:30:36.320 --> 00:30:40.590\nhave that you need to build. I am doing the same kind of reflective exercises\n\n627\n00:30:40.590 --> 00:30:41.280\nfor myself.\n\n628\n00:30:41.280 --> 00:30:47.800\nAfter games, in preparation, specifically when I'll look at different lineups\n\n629\n00:30:47.800 --> 00:30:48.480\nthat we have in\n\n630\n00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:53.520\nour timeouts that I've called or situational things that, you know, I'm not in\n\n631\n00:30:53.520 --> 00:30:54.240\nthe moment,\n\n632\n00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:58.160\nyou know, I know what we did, but I don't know that we prepared for that moment\n\n633\n00:30:58.160 --> 00:30:58.880\n. And so like,\n\n634\n00:30:58.880 --> 00:31:02.690\nthe games will show me, what are things that we need to work a little bit more\n\n635\n00:31:02.690 --> 00:31:04.000\non, but also\n\n636\n00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:09.000\nwere we correctly prepared for this moment? Have I been preparing them? How did\n\n637\n00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:10.160\nI manage our\n\n638\n00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:15.680\nsubstitutions? How did I manage our timeouts? And that's been really valuable\n\n639\n00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:16.320\nfor me and has\n\n640\n00:31:16.320 --> 00:31:20.480\nreally helped me grow. We were talking earlier and you're a student of\n\n641\n00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:21.840\nleadership and you're\n\n642\n00:31:21.840 --> 00:31:26.770\nconstantly learning about how to lead. And I understand you have a leadership\n\n643\n00:31:26.770 --> 00:31:27.520\ncouncil, you know,\n\n644\n00:31:27.520 --> 00:31:34.560\nwho's on it and how do you earn the right to be on your council? I think we\n\n645\n00:31:34.560 --> 00:31:34.720\nhave\n\n646\n00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:40.480\nfive or six of our players on there. Most of them are veterans. So I have\n\n647\n00:31:41.760 --> 00:31:46.690\nmy seniors, my two seniors that have been here with me four and five years. I\n\n648\n00:31:46.690 --> 00:31:47.360\nhave our graduate\n\n649\n00:31:47.360 --> 00:31:52.790\ntransfer. She's on there. I have our senior that Justine Pezot. She's on there.\n\n650\n00:31:52.790 --> 00:31:53.600\nShe's been here for\n\n651\n00:31:53.600 --> 00:31:59.990\nthree years. Michaela, our sophomore and then Madison Green, another sophomore\n\n652\n00:31:59.990 --> 00:32:00.800\nwho are rising\n\n653\n00:32:00.800 --> 00:32:06.230\nleaders, right? So I chose, they really chose them. I had them list out who\n\n654\n00:32:06.230 --> 00:32:07.920\nthey thought the leaders\n\n655\n00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:14.700\nwere. It was anonymous on our team. And then after getting their input, I put\n\n656\n00:32:14.700 --> 00:32:15.680\nthe people in the room\n\n657\n00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:19.860\nthat I felt like would be the best voices for the team, right? So you can't,\n\n658\n00:32:19.860 --> 00:32:20.960\nyou know, for us,\n\n659\n00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:24.880\nI wanted to make sure that we had enough leaders in the room where we could\n\n660\n00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:26.240\ncontinue to build it\n\n661\n00:32:26.240 --> 00:32:31.440\nafter our seniors graduate, but also who would be the right voice for the right\n\n662\n00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:32.000\nperson at the\n\n663\n00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:35.270\nright time. And that can't just be one or two people. It's too much work, right\n\n664\n00:32:35.270 --> 00:32:36.160\n? There has to\n\n665\n00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:41.090\nbe people in there that can be that for the team, but it also can be that for\n\n666\n00:32:41.090 --> 00:32:42.320\neach other. And the\n\n667\n00:32:42.320 --> 00:32:46.370\nlessons that they're learning together, I thought were valuable for them as\n\n668\n00:32:46.370 --> 00:32:47.760\nwell. They are also still\n\n669\n00:32:47.760 --> 00:32:52.150\ngrowing as leaders. So it was more of a training, like let's train you how to\n\n670\n00:32:52.150 --> 00:32:53.920\nlead yourself first\n\n671\n00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:57.120\nand lead each other first. And then we can talk about how we're going to lead\n\n672\n00:32:57.120 --> 00:32:58.320\nthe team together.\n\n673\n00:32:58.320 --> 00:33:02.240\nYou mentioned earlier, when you're a child, you had a great role model. Your\n\n674\n00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:04.320\nmother was a trailblazer\n\n675\n00:33:04.320 --> 00:33:09.750\nin women's basketball, you know, highly accomplished. I know that she's in the\n\n676\n00:33:09.750 --> 00:33:10.560\nHall of Fame in North\n\n677\n00:33:10.560 --> 00:33:17.080\nCarolina. But she said, \"Hey, I'm going to go out and, you know, blaze my own\n\n678\n00:33:17.080 --> 00:33:18.160\ntrail, you know,\n\n679\n00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:23.100\nwhich I love.\" Do you have another story from your childhood that really kind\n\n680\n00:33:23.100 --> 00:33:24.240\nof tells us a little\n\n681\n00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:29.170\nbit about how you became the leader you are today? There's so many people that\n\n682\n00:33:29.170 --> 00:33:31.200\nwere part of my\n\n683\n00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:38.640\nchildhood. And I think there's a lot of stories that made me who I am. And what\n\n684\n00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:39.280\nI remember\n\n685\n00:33:39.280 --> 00:33:45.040\nis that there were people who saw me, right? So there was a coach, he ran a\n\n686\n00:33:45.040 --> 00:33:45.920\nbunch of camps,\n\n687\n00:33:45.920 --> 00:33:51.920\nAustin Lehman, who challenged me really hard. And I would go to his camps and I\n\n688\n00:33:51.920 --> 00:33:52.320\nwas always\n\n689\n00:33:52.320 --> 00:33:55.820\nplaying with the boys, or he would compare me to the boys, or he would put me\n\n690\n00:33:55.820 --> 00:33:56.480\nup against the\n\n691\n00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:59.950\nboys. And it was an impossible feat for me, right? Like, I'm not going to win\n\n692\n00:33:59.950 --> 00:34:00.640\nthis. And he would\n\n693\n00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:06.070\ncontinue to push me to be better and to not compare myself. And what I thought\n\n694\n00:34:06.070 --> 00:34:06.960\nwas really cool about,\n\n695\n00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:11.920\nand I tell you that specific story, he still keeps in contact with me. He still\n\n696\n00:34:11.920 --> 00:34:12.640\ntext messages\n\n697\n00:34:12.640 --> 00:34:17.580\nme. You know, he watched games, he has his opinions. And I love that because\n\n698\n00:34:17.580 --> 00:34:19.520\nthat's how he always was.\n\n699\n00:34:19.520 --> 00:34:24.020\nBut at that time in my life, I felt like, and he was one of them, there were\n\n700\n00:34:24.020 --> 00:34:24.480\nseveral,\n\n701\n00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:31.600\nhe really saw me. He didn't gloss over, you know, oh, all the awards and let me\n\n702\n00:34:31.600 --> 00:34:32.560\nmake this easy for\n\n703\n00:34:32.560 --> 00:34:39.340\nyou. And you're so great. He really saw me and pushed me and challenged me. But\n\n704\n00:34:39.340 --> 00:34:40.720\nhe would also\n\n705\n00:34:40.720 --> 00:34:45.140\ncomfort me in moments where he knew that I needed it with just a conversation\n\n706\n00:34:45.140 --> 00:34:46.080\nor something like that.\n\n707\n00:34:46.080 --> 00:34:53.030\nBut I think that my leadership style really lends itself towards like, I was, I\n\n708\n00:34:53.030 --> 00:34:54.560\nwasn't quite sure,\n\n709\n00:34:54.560 --> 00:34:58.720\nyou know, I knew I wanted to be great. But I was also being pulled in different\n\n710\n00:34:58.720 --> 00:34:59.440\ndirections at that\n\n711\n00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:02.640\ntime in my life. Like, do I am I going to be a cheerleader? Do I want to be,\n\n712\n00:35:02.640 --> 00:35:03.440\nyou know, am I going\n\n713\n00:35:03.440 --> 00:35:06.340\nto be a part of this group with all the girls that are all really cool, or I'm\n\n714\n00:35:06.340 --> 00:35:07.840\ngoing to be in the gym,\n\n715\n00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:11.620\nand do what I'm going to do? And so when there are people that see you for who\n\n716\n00:35:11.620 --> 00:35:12.800\nyou are and continue\n\n717\n00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:18.230\nto pour into you, that made that made a difference. And I feel like that has\n\n718\n00:35:18.230 --> 00:35:19.200\nmade me the leader that\n\n719\n00:35:19.200 --> 00:35:22.980\nI am because I try to do the same thing here. And you went on to become an\n\n720\n00:35:22.980 --> 00:35:24.240\nincredible player at\n\n721\n00:35:24.240 --> 00:35:27.710\nUConn. And but your career was riddled with injuries. I couldn't believe it\n\n722\n00:35:27.710 --> 00:35:28.800\nwhen I found out you\n\n723\n00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:35.200\nyou tore your ACL five times by the age of 23. What did going through that kind\n\n724\n00:35:35.200 --> 00:35:35.920\nof physical\n\n725\n00:35:35.920 --> 00:35:41.800\nadversity teach you about leading through pain? You got to take care of your\n\n726\n00:35:41.800 --> 00:35:42.240\nbody\n\n727\n00:35:42.240 --> 00:35:46.020\nas an athlete. And I just thought I could outwork everything. I thought the\n\n728\n00:35:46.020 --> 00:35:46.720\nharder I worked, the\n\n729\n00:35:46.720 --> 00:35:51.760\nbetter I would be. And that just wasn't the case. You know, I needed to take a\n\n730\n00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:52.320\nlittle bit better\n\n731\n00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:55.210\ncare of my body. I needed to fuel it better. There were things I could have\n\n732\n00:35:55.210 --> 00:35:55.920\ndone differently,\n\n733\n00:35:55.920 --> 00:35:59.120\nbut I was so stubborn because I wanted to get back out of the court. I mean, I\n\n734\n00:35:59.120 --> 00:36:00.320\nwas stubborn as a\n\n735\n00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:07.600\nmule. And I don't know why I had five ACLs. I just knew that I was determined\n\n736\n00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:08.320\nto play.\n\n737\n00:36:09.200 --> 00:36:14.800\nAnd another reason why I'm so grounded in my faith now is like, yeah, no, I'm\n\n738\n00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:15.440\ntapping you on the\n\n739\n00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:18.920\nshoulder. And if you need me to tap you another time, I will. But this isn't\n\n740\n00:36:18.920 --> 00:36:20.960\nyour path. And leading\n\n741\n00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:27.730\nthrough pain, I'm not afraid of pain. I loved playing really hard. I felt like\n\n742\n00:36:27.730 --> 00:36:29.040\nthat helped my team.\n\n743\n00:36:29.040 --> 00:36:33.970\nThe people around me inspired them because I would play through anything. I'd\n\n744\n00:36:33.970 --> 00:36:34.480\nwrap everything\n\n745\n00:36:34.480 --> 00:36:38.400\nup and tape everything. I got so mad if I got pulled out of practice. But it\n\n746\n00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:39.760\ngave me an idea\n\n747\n00:36:39.760 --> 00:36:42.860\nof what it looks like to be a great leader because I'm going to show up for you\n\n748\n00:36:42.860 --> 00:36:43.680\n. I'm going to show\n\n749\n00:36:43.680 --> 00:36:47.980\nup. But also I need to learn how to do it maybe in a more intelligent way. It\n\n750\n00:36:47.980 --> 00:36:49.200\nturned me into the\n\n751\n00:36:49.200 --> 00:36:53.190\npath of coaching. So it was really hard to go through all those injuries. I\n\n752\n00:36:53.190 --> 00:36:54.160\ndidn't get to play\n\n753\n00:36:54.160 --> 00:36:58.320\nprofessionally. That's something that I will never be able to do. But now I get\n\n754\n00:36:58.320 --> 00:36:59.200\nto be part of\n\n755\n00:36:59.200 --> 00:37:02.410\nsomeone else's dream to play professionally. And I think that's what I was\n\n756\n00:37:02.410 --> 00:37:02.880\nbuilt for.\n\n757\n00:37:03.680 --> 00:37:07.760\nWhat was it like, though, before you developed the maturity where you can say,\n\n758\n00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:11.840\n\"I think that's what I was built for.\" When your dream is shattered, you want\n\n759\n00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:12.400\nto play in the\n\n760\n00:37:12.400 --> 00:37:19.950\nNBA, but you don't get to play in the WNBA. When your whole world seems to get\n\n761\n00:37:19.950 --> 00:37:20.640\ncrash,\n\n762\n00:37:20.640 --> 00:37:26.000\nbecause how did you deal with that? Yeah, I didn't deal with it very well.\n\n763\n00:37:26.000 --> 00:37:32.920\nI was pretty angry. I don't think I watched basketball for a year after my last\n\n764\n00:37:32.920 --> 00:37:33.280\nACL.\n\n765\n00:37:33.280 --> 00:37:36.480\nI was trying to finish school. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was kind of\n\n766\n00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:37.280\nhopping around from\n\n767\n00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:41.480\nthing to thing. And not really invested in any of it. And it was all in\n\n768\n00:37:41.480 --> 00:37:42.720\nConnecticut while I was\n\n769\n00:37:42.720 --> 00:37:49.110\nrehabbing. But what it did give me as I came out of that fog a little bit was,\n\n770\n00:37:49.110 --> 00:37:50.880\nnumber one,\n\n771\n00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:57.200\nI am not a basketball player. My identity is not just a basketball player. And\n\n772\n00:37:57.200 --> 00:37:58.880\nI didn't know that\n\n773\n00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:03.370\nuntil that point. I had not built an identity outside of being a basketball\n\n774\n00:38:03.370 --> 00:38:04.880\nplayer, which led\n\n775\n00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:10.640\nme to my faith. It led me to, this can't be what happens when I don't get\n\n776\n00:38:10.640 --> 00:38:12.400\nthings that I work for.\n\n777\n00:38:12.400 --> 00:38:16.320\nThis isn't who I am. I am something much greater than this, much bigger than\n\n778\n00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:17.120\nthis. My purpose is\n\n779\n00:38:17.120 --> 00:38:22.550\nmuch greater than this. But it also fueled me to want to coach, because I feel\n\n780\n00:38:22.550 --> 00:38:24.080\nlike every athlete\n\n781\n00:38:24.080 --> 00:38:27.860\nneeds that. At some point, whether it's on your terms or not, the ball is going\n\n782\n00:38:27.860 --> 00:38:28.880\nto stop bouncing.\n\n783\n00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:32.090\nYou're not going to be able to go back out on the field. Your career as an\n\n784\n00:38:32.090 --> 00:38:33.360\nathlete is going to be\n\n785\n00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:38.290\nover. Now, what's next for you? Who are you after that? And we need to make\n\n786\n00:38:38.290 --> 00:38:38.880\nsure that they can\n\n787\n00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:43.170\ndefine that here and now, especially in the world that we live in, with social\n\n788\n00:38:43.170 --> 00:38:43.600\nmedia,\n\n789\n00:38:43.600 --> 00:38:46.970\nand all the narratives that people are going to want to talk about, a bad\n\n790\n00:38:46.970 --> 00:38:48.320\nperformance, a good\n\n791\n00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:53.270\nperformance. You are not that. You are a great basketball player, but you're a\n\n792\n00:38:53.270 --> 00:38:54.240\nhuman being with\n\n793\n00:38:54.240 --> 00:38:57.630\nlots of other skill and talents, a child of God, all the things, and you're\n\n794\n00:38:57.630 --> 00:38:58.560\ngoing to have a long\n\n795\n00:38:58.560 --> 00:39:02.230\ncareer after you stop playing sports. We got to figure out what that passion is\n\n796\n00:39:02.230 --> 00:39:03.040\nfor you and pour\n\n797\n00:39:03.040 --> 00:39:10.160\ninto that as well. You're blessed enough to become a coach and pursue this goal\n\n798\n00:39:10.160 --> 00:39:10.960\nof yours to help\n\n799\n00:39:10.960 --> 00:39:15.890\nothers get to the WNBA or just become the kind of a good person. I love that as\n\n800\n00:39:15.890 --> 00:39:16.880\nbeing the one thing\n\n801\n00:39:16.880 --> 00:39:22.800\nthat you picked. Just be a good person. I think that's really cool. You know\n\n802\n00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:23.120\nwhat it\n\n803\n00:39:23.120 --> 00:39:28.060\ntakes to build a dynasty. I mean, you've seen it close upfront and personal\n\n804\n00:39:28.060 --> 00:39:28.960\nwhen you were at UConn.\n\n805\n00:39:28.960 --> 00:39:35.360\nI was just curious if you had a story from Coach Ariema where you really got\n\n806\n00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:42.320\nthat moment where he kind of changed the way you think about leadership just by\n\n807\n00:39:42.320 --> 00:39:43.280\nwhat he did as you\n\n808\n00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:49.670\nwere learning how to coach. Recall his story where you go, \"Whoa.\" Yeah, there\n\n809\n00:39:49.670 --> 00:39:51.360\n's a couple of them.\n\n810\n00:39:51.360 --> 00:40:00.290\nHe was masterful and is masterful at pressing the right buttons to get every\n\n811\n00:40:00.290 --> 00:40:01.040\nsingle ounce of\n\n812\n00:40:01.040 --> 00:40:06.080\npotential out of players. But one of the things I remembered when I coached,\n\n813\n00:40:06.080 --> 00:40:06.800\nwhen I played for\n\n814\n00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:11.520\nhim, I just thought he was angry all the time. Why is he so angry all the time?\n\n815\n00:40:11.520 --> 00:40:12.160\nHe comes in here,\n\n816\n00:40:12.160 --> 00:40:16.480\npissed off, and it's like, you know, I don't understand that. When I started\n\n817\n00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:17.280\nworking for him\n\n818\n00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:22.430\nin the meetings that we would have, it was like, he really cares. And he's\n\n819\n00:40:22.430 --> 00:40:24.080\ntrying to figure out ways\n\n820\n00:40:24.080 --> 00:40:29.510\nthat he can show up and make the team better. And because at that time, we were\n\n821\n00:40:29.510 --> 00:40:30.160\nso good. I mean,\n\n822\n00:40:30.160 --> 00:40:35.100\nwe went on like 111-game win streak and no one could even come close to beating\n\n823\n00:40:35.100 --> 00:40:35.280\nus\n\n824\n00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:40.710\nwhen we played really well. He felt like he had to be the opponent. You know, I\n\n825\n00:40:40.710 --> 00:40:41.680\n'm the opponent.\n\n826\n00:40:42.160 --> 00:40:46.830\nI have to be really hard on them every single day. So they don't get caught up\n\n827\n00:40:46.830 --> 00:40:48.000\nin all of this stuff.\n\n828\n00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:51.360\nAnd there were several practices. I remember one where we were playing\n\n829\n00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:56.800\nfive on eight and the half court, and he was allowing the eight defenders to\n\n830\n00:40:56.800 --> 00:40:57.120\ntrap\n\n831\n00:40:57.120 --> 00:41:03.040\nthe offensive players, and we weren't allowed to dribble. And it was like turn\n\n832\n00:41:03.040 --> 00:41:03.840\nover, turn over,\n\n833\n00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:08.800\nkick the ball. It was mass chaos. And I walked over to him and I said, \"Listen,\n\n834\n00:41:10.160 --> 00:41:15.100\nyou know, like we're not going to.\" He goes, \"I know.\" I said, \"Okay.\" He's\n\n835\n00:41:15.100 --> 00:41:16.480\nsupposed to be hard.\n\n836\n00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:20.050\nIt's good. And then, you know, I think when we got back, the next game we\n\n837\n00:41:20.050 --> 00:41:20.960\nplayed, it was like,\n\n838\n00:41:20.960 --> 00:41:25.050\nit felt like we were playing five on zero because everything was so much easier\n\n839\n00:41:25.050 --> 00:41:26.800\n. It was just a very\n\n840\n00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:31.740\neye-opening moment for me and like how to continue to make things so impossible\n\n841\n00:41:31.740 --> 00:41:33.600\nfor our team so that\n\n842\n00:41:33.600 --> 00:41:37.710\nthey could actually achieve success. And so now, what is this going to take for\n\n843\n00:41:37.710 --> 00:41:38.480\nyou to build a\n\n844\n00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:44.920\ndynasty at Vandy? I mean, you're obviously building your program up, great year\n\n845\n00:41:44.920 --> 00:41:46.080\n, coach of the year,\n\n846\n00:41:46.080 --> 00:41:51.440\nall of us. I mean, how do you take it to that kind of consistency?\n\n847\n00:41:51.440 --> 00:41:57.200\nThe world that we live in now, the landscape that we live in now, I have to do\n\n848\n00:41:57.200 --> 00:41:57.840\nmy job really\n\n849\n00:41:57.840 --> 00:42:01.990\nwell. We have to recruit great talent and we have to coach. And we're going in\n\n850\n00:42:01.990 --> 00:42:02.640\nthe right\n\n851\n00:42:02.640 --> 00:42:07.030\ndirection. But what it takes to build a dynasty is much bigger than that in\n\n852\n00:42:07.030 --> 00:42:08.320\ncollege sports anymore.\n\n853\n00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:14.240\nI think one of the things that I will never ever, no matter what the landscape\n\n854\n00:42:14.240 --> 00:42:15.600\ndoes or changes or,\n\n855\n00:42:15.600 --> 00:42:22.550\nyou know, stays, is like build relationships. Because in the world that we live\n\n856\n00:42:22.550 --> 00:42:23.200\nin now,\n\n857\n00:42:23.200 --> 00:42:27.520\nkids can just jump from school to school. And, you know, and they're treated.\n\n858\n00:42:27.520 --> 00:42:28.560\nThese are kids\n\n859\n00:42:28.560 --> 00:42:32.100\nin college or we're treating them like commodities. And it's a great\n\n860\n00:42:32.100 --> 00:42:33.440\nopportunity that they have to\n\n861\n00:42:33.440 --> 00:42:37.450\nearn money. And it's the right thing. You know, NIL, like their March Madness\n\n862\n00:42:37.450 --> 00:42:38.800\nis one of the most\n\n863\n00:42:38.800 --> 00:42:42.380\nmoney making tournaments, you know, sporting events in the world. So it's the\n\n864\n00:42:42.380 --> 00:42:43.120\nright thing.\n\n865\n00:42:43.120 --> 00:42:47.520\nBut we still have to build relationships and teach them how to overcome\n\n866\n00:42:47.520 --> 00:42:48.400\nadversity,\n\n867\n00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:52.420\nteach them the value of delayed gratification. That comes through community and\n\n868\n00:42:52.420 --> 00:42:53.200\nleadership.\n\n869\n00:42:53.200 --> 00:42:57.440\nIt comes through investment from our athletic director, our department, our\n\n870\n00:42:57.440 --> 00:42:57.920\nchancellor,\n\n871\n00:42:57.920 --> 00:43:01.570\nour university. It doesn't look like dollars. You need that too. But you need\n\n872\n00:43:01.570 --> 00:43:02.160\npeople.\n\n873\n00:43:02.160 --> 00:43:06.080\nYou need to surround them with people so that you can continue to retain\n\n874\n00:43:06.080 --> 00:43:07.840\nathletes, coach them,\n\n875\n00:43:07.840 --> 00:43:11.840\ncontinue to bring in talent because they see that we're different. We have all\n\n876\n00:43:11.840 --> 00:43:12.560\nof these things\n\n877\n00:43:12.560 --> 00:43:16.630\nthat they need to be great. And my hope is that as we continue on the path that\n\n878\n00:43:16.630 --> 00:43:17.360\nwe're on,\n\n879\n00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:21.140\nthat people will recognize that we are different and that we will be able to\n\n880\n00:43:21.140 --> 00:43:22.160\nbuild a dynasty because\n\n881\n00:43:22.160 --> 00:43:25.760\nthat is the goal. This has been so much fun, Shay. And I want to have some more\n\n882\n00:43:25.760 --> 00:43:26.160\nwith my\n\n883\n00:43:26.160 --> 00:43:29.050\nlightning rounded questions. Are you ready for this? I'm ready. I'm ready.\n\n884\n00:43:29.050 --> 00:43:30.000\nThree words that best\n\n885\n00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.930\ndescribe you. Aggressive, humble, smart. If you could be one person for a day\n\n886\n00:43:34.930 --> 00:43:36.240\nbeside yourself,\n\n887\n00:43:36.240 --> 00:43:39.480\nwho would it be? My husband. Sometimes I just want to think I want to know what\n\n888\n00:43:39.480 --> 00:43:39.920\nhe's thinking.\n\n889\n00:43:39.920 --> 00:43:45.920\nYour biggest pet peeve. People's chewing gum like this.\n\n890\n00:43:45.920 --> 00:43:54.400\nWho would play you in a movie? How about Jennifer Garner? There you go. There\n\n891\n00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:55.280\nyou go.\n\n892\n00:43:55.280 --> 00:44:00.710\nWhat's the toughest arena to play in? I would say Gampel Pavilion or South\n\n893\n00:44:00.710 --> 00:44:01.760\nCarolina.\n\n894\n00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:06.800\nWho's the best teammate you ever had? It's probably a tie. Carla Barooby, Stacy\n\n895\n00:44:06.800 --> 00:44:08.320\nHensmeyer, Page Sour.\n\n896\n00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:12.330\nWhat's something you've been curious about lately that has absolutely nothing\n\n897\n00:44:12.330 --> 00:44:13.040\nto do with work?\n\n898\n00:44:13.040 --> 00:44:22.370\nI am so curious about music and art and how people, is that something you can\n\n899\n00:44:22.370 --> 00:44:23.520\nlearn or is that a gift?\n\n900\n00:44:23.520 --> 00:44:27.760\nBecause I would love to learn how to play an instrument or how to be some sort\n\n901\n00:44:27.760 --> 00:44:29.280\nof creative,\n\n902\n00:44:29.280 --> 00:44:33.440\nbut I'm not sure I have that. So I have been curious about that lately.\n\n903\n00:44:33.440 --> 00:44:37.920\nWhat's the one thing you do just for you? I go to yoga. Besides your family and\n\n904\n00:44:37.920 --> 00:44:38.480\nfriends,\n\n905\n00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:42.880\nwhat's your most prized possession? My wedding ring. It was handed down from my\n\n906\n00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:43.440\ngrandmother\n\n907\n00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:48.280\nand funny story. It's a Vanderbilt diamond. Is that right? That is so cool. It\n\n908\n00:44:48.280 --> 00:44:48.720\n's a Vanderbilt\n\n909\n00:44:48.720 --> 00:44:54.240\ndiamond. If I turned on the radio on your team bus on the way to a big game,\n\n910\n00:44:54.240 --> 00:44:55.440\nwhat would I hear?\n\n911\n00:44:55.440 --> 00:44:58.400\nSome songs with words that you should not be hearing anywhere.\n\n912\n00:44:58.400 --> 00:45:03.920\nWhat's something about you a few people would know? I'm a vegan. What's one of\n\n913\n00:45:03.920 --> 00:45:04.960\nyour daily rituals,\n\n914\n00:45:04.960 --> 00:45:09.440\nsomething that you never miss? My time with God, my devotional time.\n\n915\n00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:12.960\nWell, that was great lightning round. Good job. I just have a few more\n\n916\n00:45:12.960 --> 00:45:14.160\nquestions and I'll let you go.\n\n917\n00:45:16.560 --> 00:45:22.560\nYou've been very open, Shay, about your battle with the anorexia in high school\n\n918\n00:45:22.560 --> 00:45:23.520\nand in college.\n\n919\n00:45:23.520 --> 00:45:30.410\nAnd that's a fight you've said never fully goes away. How does having walked\n\n920\n00:45:30.410 --> 00:45:31.440\nthrough something like\n\n921\n00:45:31.440 --> 00:45:37.540\nthat, which is so personal and so difficult, how has that impacted the way you\n\n922\n00:45:37.540 --> 00:45:38.560\nlead and care for\n\n923\n00:45:38.560 --> 00:45:42.520\npeople around you? Number one is you just never know what people are going\n\n924\n00:45:42.520 --> 00:45:43.040\nthrough.\n\n925\n00:45:43.040 --> 00:45:49.430\nAnd it's one of the reasons why I'm so relationship oriented, because I feel\n\n926\n00:45:49.430 --> 00:45:50.320\nlike I can't be a great\n\n927\n00:45:50.320 --> 00:45:54.710\ncoach if I don't know you. And I need to be able to build trust in that way.\n\n928\n00:45:54.710 --> 00:45:56.080\nAlso, when you lead\n\n929\n00:45:56.080 --> 00:46:01.090\nyoung women, there's a lot going on in the world. And I don't think it makes\n\n930\n00:46:01.090 --> 00:46:02.880\nour young women weak.\n\n931\n00:46:02.880 --> 00:46:07.920\nBut one of the reasons I got myself into trouble is just by comparison. I just\n\n932\n00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:08.560\ncompared.\n\n933\n00:46:08.560 --> 00:46:14.950\nAnd and I thought that if I could control this one thing, then it would it\n\n934\n00:46:14.950 --> 00:46:16.160\nwould make me better.\n\n935\n00:46:16.160 --> 00:46:21.920\nAnd I don't want my young women. I can't control that part of it, but I don't\n\n936\n00:46:21.920 --> 00:46:22.560\nwant them to ever\n\n937\n00:46:22.560 --> 00:46:26.880\ncompare themselves to anyone else. I want them to be secure and who they are.\n\n938\n00:46:26.880 --> 00:46:28.000\nAnd it changed me\n\n939\n00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:31.790\nas a human, but it changed me as a leader. So I think in order for people to\n\n940\n00:46:31.790 --> 00:46:32.960\nreally believe that\n\n941\n00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:37.890\nand to dive into uncertainty and failure with a good attitude, they need to\n\n942\n00:46:37.890 --> 00:46:39.360\nknow that they're\n\n943\n00:46:39.360 --> 00:46:42.520\ncared for, that they're loved regardless of the result that we're going to\n\n944\n00:46:42.520 --> 00:46:44.080\ncontinue to push them.\n\n945\n00:46:44.080 --> 00:46:47.910\nBut that's really, really important to me, because I think if they don't have\n\n946\n00:46:47.910 --> 00:46:48.560\nthat, if our young\n\n947\n00:46:48.560 --> 00:46:52.390\nwomen don't have that, then it could be it could be anything that derails them.\n\n948\n00:46:52.390 --> 00:46:53.200\nAnd I don't want\n\n949\n00:46:53.200 --> 00:46:57.700\ntheir talent, their potential future, their gifts to ever be derailed by\n\n950\n00:46:57.700 --> 00:46:59.280\nsomething so easy as a\n\n951\n00:46:59.280 --> 00:47:03.920\nrelationship could take care of. You know, you and your husband, Tom Gary,\n\n952\n00:47:03.920 --> 00:47:08.250\nwho played in the NBA, coached at Vanderbilt before you arrived here, and now\n\n953\n00:47:08.250 --> 00:47:09.520\ncoaches alongside you\n\n954\n00:47:09.520 --> 00:47:15.100\nevery day, you have a very unique partnership for sure. I mean, and what have\n\n955\n00:47:15.100 --> 00:47:16.400\nyou two built together\n\n956\n00:47:16.400 --> 00:47:21.840\nthat you couldn't have built alone? Everything. Everything that we have right\n\n957\n00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:22.480\nnow. I mean,\n\n958\n00:47:23.680 --> 00:47:33.760\nour lives, our family, this program, I am not nearly as experienced as he is.\n\n959\n00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:35.120\nAnd he had a\n\n960\n00:47:35.120 --> 00:47:38.230\nlot of head coaching experience. I had a lot of championship experience. He was\n\n961\n00:47:38.230 --> 00:47:38.720\na really great\n\n962\n00:47:38.720 --> 00:47:42.990\nplayer as well. He was a sitting division one head coach when we took this job\n\n963\n00:47:42.990 --> 00:47:43.600\ntogether.\n\n964\n00:47:43.600 --> 00:47:48.720\nAnd, you know, there's a lot going on around. He's working technically for me.\n\n965\n00:47:48.720 --> 00:47:49.440\nBut that's not how\n\n966\n00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:52.790\nwe approach it. And honestly, that's not how I approach it with any of my staff\n\n967\n00:47:52.790 --> 00:47:53.360\nmembers.\n\n968\n00:47:53.360 --> 00:48:00.140\nWe working together. But there isn't anything that I do that his hand isn't in.\n\n969\n00:48:00.140 --> 00:48:01.280\nAnd vice versa.\n\n970\n00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:06.050\nWe're just a really good team. And, you know, we complement each other well.\n\n971\n00:48:06.050 --> 00:48:06.960\nOur styles are very\n\n972\n00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:10.320\ndifferent. And that can be challenging. But that's the beauty of it, you know,\n\n973\n00:48:10.320 --> 00:48:10.960\nis that\n\n974\n00:48:10.960 --> 00:48:15.900\nwhatever our team needs, whatever our staff needs, we either want, either one\n\n975\n00:48:15.900 --> 00:48:16.800\nof us has it. You just\n\n976\n00:48:16.800 --> 00:48:23.120\nhave to know who to go to. But we're solid. And in terms of our family, I mean,\n\n977\n00:48:23.120 --> 00:48:23.280\nwe have\n\n978\n00:48:23.280 --> 00:48:27.200\nthis huge family. We have lots of people coming up this weekend. We should have\n\n979\n00:48:27.200 --> 00:48:28.640\nsomething so special\n\n980\n00:48:28.640 --> 00:48:33.200\nboth at work and at home that we would never have if it weren't for each other.\n\n981\n00:48:33.200 --> 00:48:39.040\nAnd your parents and your mom and how do you think about leadership at home,\n\n982\n00:48:39.040 --> 00:48:39.840\nShay?\n\n983\n00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:44.440\nWe're pretty traditional at home. I love being a mom and a wife. And I think we\n\n984\n00:48:44.440 --> 00:48:45.600\n're just partners\n\n985\n00:48:45.600 --> 00:48:50.000\nas well. But respectful, we want to make sure that we show our daughter what it\n\n986\n00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:51.280\nlooks like to\n\n987\n00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:55.680\nhave a healthy relationship, to have a healthy love, to have healthy boundaries\n\n988\n00:48:55.680 --> 00:48:57.760\n. And to understand\n\n989\n00:48:57.760 --> 00:49:01.920\nwhat it looks like to be loved and cared for. She is, you know, she's got it\n\n990\n00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:02.400\ntough because our\n\n991\n00:49:02.400 --> 00:49:10.180\neyes are always on her. But we are unified as parents. And I absolutely love\n\n992\n00:49:10.180 --> 00:49:11.520\nbeing a wife and a\n\n993\n00:49:11.520 --> 00:49:16.030\nmom is just changed my life. And your mom travels with you to the games. You\n\n994\n00:49:16.030 --> 00:49:16.960\nknow, you have your\n\n995\n00:49:16.960 --> 00:49:21.920\nmom come to the games, you know, that how is that relationship changed and\n\n996\n00:49:21.920 --> 00:49:23.040\nevolved over times?\n\n997\n00:49:23.040 --> 00:49:27.980\nBecause I imagine when you were a kid, you were independent, you know, you\n\n998\n00:49:27.980 --> 00:49:28.960\nwanted to get the point\n\n999\n00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:33.000\nand now here you are back together. What's that feeling like when you see your\n\n1000\n00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:34.320\nmom in the arena?\n\n1001\n00:49:34.320 --> 00:49:40.680\nIt's really cool. You know, as you get older, my mom, she's in her, she's going\n\n1002\n00:49:40.680 --> 00:49:41.840\nto be 73 this year.\n\n1003\n00:49:43.360 --> 00:49:49.120\nAnd our roles have changed. Our lives have changed. Our relationship has\n\n1004\n00:49:49.120 --> 00:49:49.680\nchanged.\n\n1005\n00:49:49.680 --> 00:49:54.000\nBut she laid a lot of the foundation of what women's basketball is experiencing\n\n1006\n00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:55.200\nright now in general,\n\n1007\n00:49:55.200 --> 00:49:58.240\nright? So like she played at North Carolina and she had to drive the bus and\n\n1008\n00:49:58.240 --> 00:49:58.800\nshe'll tell you all\n\n1009\n00:49:58.800 --> 00:50:01.480\nthe stories. Like she had four different coaches in four years and they didn't\n\n1010\n00:50:01.480 --> 00:50:02.160\nhave a locker room.\n\n1011\n00:50:02.160 --> 00:50:07.600\nAnd now all the things that I put her through, when I was tough to raise, I\n\n1012\n00:50:07.600 --> 00:50:08.320\ntold you, I was\n\n1013\n00:50:08.320 --> 00:50:12.110\nstubborn. I put her through a lot. And now seeing her be able to be part of my\n\n1014\n00:50:12.110 --> 00:50:13.600\ndaughter's life and\n\n1015\n00:50:13.600 --> 00:50:19.360\nmy life and witness like firsthand what's happening with our sport and the eyes\n\n1016\n00:50:19.360 --> 00:50:20.000\nthat are on it and\n\n1017\n00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:24.130\nthe things that these players are experienced and the joy that she has and all\n\n1018\n00:50:24.130 --> 00:50:25.600\nof that has been so\n\n1019\n00:50:25.600 --> 00:50:29.950\ncool. It's been so cool. And you know, here you are now. You're one of the best\n\n1020\n00:50:29.950 --> 00:50:31.040\ncoaches in college\n\n1021\n00:50:31.040 --> 00:50:35.270\nbasketball. You know, when you think back, you know, walking into Vanderbilt\n\n1022\n00:50:35.270 --> 00:50:36.080\nfive years ago,\n\n1023\n00:50:36.880 --> 00:50:40.480\nwhat have you become as a leader through the process that you weren't when you\n\n1024\n00:50:40.480 --> 00:50:41.280\nwalked in the door?\n\n1025\n00:50:41.280 --> 00:50:46.160\nI mean, how have these last five years really changed you as a leader?\n\n1026\n00:50:46.160 --> 00:50:53.440\nTruly, because I say this word, but I truly am this word now. I'm resilient. As\n\n1027\n00:50:53.440 --> 00:50:54.240\na leader now,\n\n1028\n00:50:54.240 --> 00:51:01.860\nresilient. And I think that really matters because, you know, so many things\n\n1029\n00:51:01.860 --> 00:51:02.720\ncan change from year\n\n1030\n00:51:02.720 --> 00:51:09.040\nto year. And I know who we are here. I know what we're trying to accomplish.\n\n1031\n00:51:09.040 --> 00:51:09.680\nAnd I know that it's\n\n1032\n00:51:09.680 --> 00:51:15.600\nnot going to always be what we want. But we understand that. And we know that\n\n1033\n00:51:15.600 --> 00:51:16.880\nas long as we continue to\n\n1034\n00:51:16.880 --> 00:51:20.230\ndo things the right way to get the right people in here, then nothing's going\n\n1035\n00:51:20.230 --> 00:51:21.200\nto get in our way.\n\n1036\n00:51:21.200 --> 00:51:25.650\nSo I'm not, I'm not going to let the ups and downs, you know, fly me off the\n\n1037\n00:51:25.650 --> 00:51:27.440\nhandle or, you know,\n\n1038\n00:51:27.440 --> 00:51:30.700\nget us and get us into a place where the weather's not good up here. The\n\n1039\n00:51:30.700 --> 00:51:31.840\nweather's great because we're\n\n1040\n00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:36.780\nresilient. Last question. What's one piece of advice you'd give to anyone who\n\n1041\n00:51:36.780 --> 00:51:37.600\nwants to be a better\n\n1042\n00:51:37.600 --> 00:51:44.200\nleader? Remember that you're not alone to study leadership, to listen to your\n\n1043\n00:51:44.200 --> 00:51:44.960\npodcast,\n\n1044\n00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:49.730\nto read books, to remind yourself daily. And however that looks like of who you\n\n1045\n00:51:49.730 --> 00:51:50.320\nare outside\n\n1046\n00:51:50.320 --> 00:51:54.370\nof your leadership role, but to continue to give yourself tools to be a better\n\n1047\n00:51:54.370 --> 00:51:55.840\nleader. And in order\n\n1048\n00:51:55.840 --> 00:51:59.400\nto do that, you have to have self awareness. That is that makes all the\n\n1049\n00:51:59.400 --> 00:52:00.560\ndifference, whether it's\n\n1050\n00:52:00.560 --> 00:52:05.560\nfor yourself or people around you, keep your head down, do the work, have self\n\n1051\n00:52:05.560 --> 00:52:06.160\nawareness,\n\n1052\n00:52:06.160 --> 00:52:11.360\nknow who you are outside of that. And my guess is when you pick your head back\n\n1053\n00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:11.920\nup, you'll be a\n\n1054\n00:52:11.920 --> 00:52:16.190\nbetter leader. Well, coach, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this\n\n1055\n00:52:16.190 --> 00:52:18.160\nconversation. I wish you all\n\n1056\n00:52:18.160 --> 00:52:24.010\nthe best in this tournament and the tournaments ahead. I know the outcome will\n\n1057\n00:52:24.010 --> 00:52:25.120\nbe what it's going\n\n1058\n00:52:25.120 --> 00:52:30.320\nto be. But the process that you have and your belief in people and the way that\n\n1059\n00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:30.880\nyou're supposed\n\n1060\n00:52:30.880 --> 00:52:35.040\nto get there, it's definitely textbook and any leadership book that I've ever\n\n1061\n00:52:35.040 --> 00:52:35.600\nread.\n\n1062\n00:52:35.600 --> 00:52:39.270\nYeah. Well, thank you. I'm honored. I really enjoyed this time with you. Thank\n\n1063\n00:52:39.270 --> 00:52:39.840\nyou so much.\n\n1064\n00:52:39.840 --> 00:52:50.100\nDavid, as an alumna of Vanderbilt, I got to start this debrief conversation by\n\n1065\n00:52:50.100 --> 00:52:50.400\nsaying\n\n1066\n00:52:50.400 --> 00:52:54.160\nanchor down. Did you actually go to Vanderbilt? I didn't know you're that smart\n\n1067\n00:52:54.160 --> 00:52:54.160\n.\n\n1068\n00:52:54.160 --> 00:53:00.550\nShocking to most people, I did, in fact, go to Vanderbilt. My daughter went to\n\n1069\n00:53:00.550 --> 00:53:01.120\nVanderbilt too,\n\n1070\n00:53:01.120 --> 00:53:04.750\nso you guys have that in common. I love this conversation with Shay. Obviously,\n\n1071\n00:53:04.750 --> 00:53:05.120\nI'm a huge\n\n1072\n00:53:05.120 --> 00:53:09.600\nVanderbilt fan. But what she's done with the program is so impressive. And\n\n1073\n00:53:09.600 --> 00:53:10.240\nDavid, I love\n\n1074\n00:53:10.240 --> 00:53:14.560\nconversations anytime we have them with coaches and sports. And I want to get\n\n1075\n00:53:14.560 --> 00:53:15.520\nyour perspective on\n\n1076\n00:53:15.520 --> 00:53:19.510\nsome of the things that Shay talked about in this episode and how our listeners\n\n1077\n00:53:19.510 --> 00:53:20.080\ncan apply\n\n1078\n00:53:20.080 --> 00:53:24.050\nthose insights to their own leadership and to their own life. And the first\n\n1079\n00:53:24.050 --> 00:53:25.200\nthing I want to talk about\n\n1080\n00:53:25.200 --> 00:53:30.130\nis the importance of a leader knowing when they need to be present and when\n\n1081\n00:53:30.130 --> 00:53:30.800\nthey need to leave\n\n1082\n00:53:30.800 --> 00:53:36.230\nthe room. Shay talks about the process of how her team developed their own team\n\n1083\n00:53:36.230 --> 00:53:37.920\nvalues. And she says\n\n1084\n00:53:37.920 --> 00:53:42.850\nthat things really shifted when she left the room and when she wasn't around\n\n1085\n00:53:42.850 --> 00:53:44.480\nfor that conversation.\n\n1086\n00:53:44.480 --> 00:53:48.480\nAs a leader, how do you know when you should step away from something so that\n\n1087\n00:53:48.480 --> 00:53:49.520\nit can grow and flourish?\n\n1088\n00:53:50.080 --> 00:53:55.020\nWell, you know, sometimes your team will tell you to. We had a podcast recently\n\n1089\n00:53:55.020 --> 00:53:55.280\nwith\n\n1090\n00:53:55.280 --> 00:54:03.070\nJohn Donah of the former CEO of Nike. And, you know, he talked about how his\n\n1091\n00:54:03.070 --> 00:54:04.160\nteam went to\n\n1092\n00:54:04.160 --> 00:54:10.690\noffer an off-site. And they were meeting and they said, \"Hey, John, we'd like\n\n1093\n00:54:10.690 --> 00:54:11.520\nyou to step out\n\n1094\n00:54:11.520 --> 00:54:16.020\nbecause we need to talk together as a team.\" And when he came back in, they had\n\n1095\n00:54:16.020 --> 00:54:16.960\ndeveloped a\n\n1096\n00:54:16.960 --> 00:54:22.000\ncontract on how they were going to work together. And because they felt like\n\n1097\n00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:23.520\nthat they hadn't been\n\n1098\n00:54:23.520 --> 00:54:27.050\nworking together the way how they needed to work together to get the kind of\n\n1099\n00:54:27.050 --> 00:54:27.760\nperformance\n\n1100\n00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:34.150\nthat the company needed. And John said it was so powerful because they came to\n\n1101\n00:54:34.150 --> 00:54:35.120\ntheir own conclusion.\n\n1102\n00:54:35.120 --> 00:54:42.560\nYou know, I've always believed that, you know, any idea that someone comes up\n\n1103\n00:54:42.560 --> 00:54:43.520\nwith on their own,\n\n1104\n00:54:44.240 --> 00:54:50.760\nthere's more ownership of it. And, you know, I think, you know, there are times\n\n1105\n00:54:50.760 --> 00:54:51.040\nwhen a\n\n1106\n00:54:51.040 --> 00:54:58.240\nleader needs to step away and let their team get the ownership that's required.\n\n1107\n00:54:58.240 --> 00:55:04.640\nAnd, you know, I've done that in times where I knew there was a lot of strife\n\n1108\n00:55:04.640 --> 00:55:06.160\non the team\n\n1109\n00:55:06.160 --> 00:55:12.000\nover a particular issue. And I walked away so that they could have the comfort\n\n1110\n00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:13.120\nof getting it all out\n\n1111\n00:55:13.760 --> 00:55:17.800\nwithout me having the judge. And when I came back, they had the solution. I\n\n1112\n00:55:17.800 --> 00:55:19.280\nthink in Shay's case,\n\n1113\n00:55:19.280 --> 00:55:24.480\nyou know, she wanted people to really own the team culture. She wanted her\n\n1114\n00:55:24.480 --> 00:55:25.440\nplayers to really\n\n1115\n00:55:25.440 --> 00:55:30.640\nstep up. She said she got to pick one of the core behaviors that they wanted to\n\n1116\n00:55:30.640 --> 00:55:32.080\nhave. But they\n\n1117\n00:55:32.080 --> 00:55:37.840\ndeveloped the others. And, you know, by doing that, you follow what I think is\n\n1118\n00:55:37.840 --> 00:55:39.520\nthe law of leadership,\n\n1119\n00:55:39.520 --> 00:55:43.760\nwhich you got to remember, if you have no involvement, you have no commitment.\n\n1120\n00:55:43.760 --> 00:55:44.720\nSo she could come in\n\n1121\n00:55:44.720 --> 00:55:50.290\nand say, \"Hey, look, these are the five behaviors that we need to do.\" And the\n\n1122\n00:55:50.290 --> 00:55:51.280\nplayers said, \"Oh,\n\n1123\n00:55:51.280 --> 00:55:54.880\nokay, okay, okay.\" But the players didn't develop. They didn't have any chance\n\n1124\n00:55:54.880 --> 00:55:55.920\nto have any input.\n\n1125\n00:55:55.920 --> 00:55:59.840\nThey wouldn't own it. She's smart enough to know that if they come up with the\n\n1126\n00:55:59.840 --> 00:56:00.480\nbehaviors,\n\n1127\n00:56:00.480 --> 00:56:07.250\nthe people will own it. And, you know, I think that's the real point here. You\n\n1128\n00:56:07.250 --> 00:56:07.360\nknow,\n\n1129\n00:56:08.320 --> 00:56:12.240\nleaders need to be present, obviously. You know, you got to be present. You got\n\n1130\n00:56:12.240 --> 00:56:12.880\nto be out there.\n\n1131\n00:56:12.880 --> 00:56:16.950\nYou got to let people know you're with them. You got to be a coach. You know,\n\n1132\n00:56:16.950 --> 00:56:18.480\nthat's something\n\n1133\n00:56:18.480 --> 00:56:26.850\nthat we all need to do. But you got to find whatever way you can to get\n\n1134\n00:56:26.850 --> 00:56:28.320\nownership of something.\n\n1135\n00:56:28.320 --> 00:56:34.910\nAnd sometimes that means you don't need to be there. And, you know, I think\n\n1136\n00:56:34.910 --> 00:56:35.600\nthat's a very\n\n1137\n00:56:35.600 --> 00:56:39.380\npowerful thing to remember. It reminds me of the stories that you tell David\n\n1138\n00:56:39.380 --> 00:56:40.000\nabout your time\n\n1139\n00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:42.920\nat YAMM when you would go up to someone and say, \"You know, how do you think I\n\n1140\n00:56:42.920 --> 00:56:43.840\n'm doing?\"\n\n1141\n00:56:43.840 --> 00:56:46.560\nAnd they would say, \"Oh, David, you're doing a great job.\" And then you would\n\n1142\n00:56:46.560 --> 00:56:47.280\nask him again,\n\n1143\n00:56:47.280 --> 00:56:49.360\nsay, \"How do you think I'm doing?\" And they would say, \"Oh, David, you're doing\n\n1144\n00:56:49.360 --> 00:56:50.240\na great job.\"\n\n1145\n00:56:50.240 --> 00:56:53.200\nAnd then you'd ask him a third time. And then finally, they would say, \"Well,\n\n1146\n00:56:53.200 --> 00:56:53.680\nyou know,\n\n1147\n00:56:53.680 --> 00:56:57.600\nI think that maybe you could do this a little bit differently.\" So as a leader,\n\n1148\n00:56:57.600 --> 00:56:58.240\nit's the same\n\n1149\n00:56:58.240 --> 00:57:02.730\nconcept. You have to understand that a lot of times, if you're present, you can\n\n1150\n00:57:02.730 --> 00:57:03.440\n't really get\n\n1151\n00:57:03.440 --> 00:57:06.420\ndown to the nitty-gritty of what's happening or what people are really\n\n1152\n00:57:06.420 --> 00:57:07.600\nbelieving unless you give\n\n1153\n00:57:07.600 --> 00:57:12.540\nthem that time to discover it on their own. Yeah. And you got to have a process\n\n1154\n00:57:12.540 --> 00:57:14.080\nthat will get it\n\n1155\n00:57:14.080 --> 00:57:18.580\nout of people. You know, and that's why I would always say ask three questions.\n\n1156\n00:57:18.580 --> 00:57:19.520\nSometimes you have\n\n1157\n00:57:19.520 --> 00:57:23.460\nto ask four to get it out of there. The other thing you have to do with a team\n\n1158\n00:57:23.460 --> 00:57:24.080\nis you always\n\n1159\n00:57:24.080 --> 00:57:27.370\nhave to be able to snip out the conflict. You know, one of the great things\n\n1160\n00:57:27.370 --> 00:57:28.560\nthat you need to do\n\n1161\n00:57:28.560 --> 00:57:32.810\nas a leader is you got to be good at really driving productive conflict. And if\n\n1162\n00:57:32.810 --> 00:57:33.120\nyou know\n\n1163\n00:57:33.120 --> 00:57:37.150\nthere's issues on a team, you got to get those things out on the table so it\n\n1164\n00:57:37.150 --> 00:57:38.720\ncould be resolved.\n\n1165\n00:57:38.720 --> 00:57:45.110\nBut that's a great example when the leader has to be in the room, because\n\n1166\n00:57:45.110 --> 00:57:45.760\npeople would probably\n\n1167\n00:57:45.760 --> 00:57:50.790\nbe just smiling to each other, acting like everything's great. But the leader\n\n1168\n00:57:50.790 --> 00:57:51.360\nknows what\n\n1169\n00:57:51.360 --> 00:57:54.600\npeople are really thinking, because a lot of times the leaders come in, they\n\n1170\n00:57:54.600 --> 00:57:55.200\nhave their people\n\n1171\n00:57:55.200 --> 00:57:57.870\ncome into their office and tell them what they can. But then when they get in\n\n1172\n00:57:57.870 --> 00:57:58.880\nthe room with everybody\n\n1173\n00:57:58.880 --> 00:58:03.140\nelse, they don't, they don't get the conflict out there. And so if you know\n\n1174\n00:58:03.140 --> 00:58:04.080\nwhat's going on with\n\n1175\n00:58:04.080 --> 00:58:07.400\nyour team, you can make sure that the issues are raised so you can have the\n\n1176\n00:58:07.400 --> 00:58:08.400\nkind of productive\n\n1177\n00:58:08.400 --> 00:58:11.760\nconflict that will get to get you to the best solution. Another thing that's\n\n1178\n00:58:11.760 --> 00:58:12.320\nreally obvious\n\n1179\n00:58:12.320 --> 00:58:16.100\nabout Shay and the way that she coaches is that she never wants her team to\n\n1180\n00:58:16.100 --> 00:58:17.120\ndefine itself by\n\n1181\n00:58:17.120 --> 00:58:22.170\ntheir results, whether they're good or bad. But of course, in sports and in\n\n1182\n00:58:22.170 --> 00:58:22.880\nbusiness,\n\n1183\n00:58:22.880 --> 00:58:28.310\nresults matter, obviously. How, as a leader, do you walk that line? I think she\n\n1184\n00:58:28.310 --> 00:58:29.360\ndoesn't want people\n\n1185\n00:58:29.360 --> 00:58:35.880\nto define themselves just by the results that they generate. But believe me,\n\n1186\n00:58:35.880 --> 00:58:38.160\nthe key there is\n\n1187\n00:58:38.160 --> 00:58:47.090\njust by, okay? Just by the results. Because believe me, Shay likes winning. I\n\n1188\n00:58:47.090 --> 00:58:48.000\nmean, she is\n\n1189\n00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:52.930\nvery, very competitive. She's been a winner her entire life. And she's got this\n\n1190\n00:58:52.930 --> 00:58:54.000\nteam now on a role\n\n1191\n00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:57.240\nand has taken her five years to really build the kind of program she wants of\n\n1192\n00:58:57.240 --> 00:58:58.000\nVanderbilt.\n\n1193\n00:58:58.000 --> 00:59:02.930\nSo she loves, she loves winning much more than she did when she was an\n\n1194\n00:59:02.930 --> 00:59:04.560\nassistant coach at Pitt,\n\n1195\n00:59:04.560 --> 00:59:07.840\nwhere she was losing all the time when she talked about learning how to lose,\n\n1196\n00:59:07.840 --> 00:59:09.840\nyou know? And you know,\n\n1197\n00:59:09.840 --> 00:59:14.780\nyou learn when the best way to learn how to lose is to learn from when you lose\n\n1198\n00:59:14.780 --> 00:59:15.520\nand that helped her\n\n1199\n00:59:15.520 --> 00:59:20.560\nbecome a better coach. But you know, I think what Shay is really saying is,\n\n1200\n00:59:20.560 --> 00:59:21.520\nyeah, come on team,\n\n1201\n00:59:21.520 --> 00:59:26.950\nwe want to have put wins on the board. But I'm here with you because I care\n\n1202\n00:59:26.950 --> 00:59:28.240\nabout you as a person.\n\n1203\n00:59:28.240 --> 00:59:34.000\nI care about the whole person, not just part of you, not the basketball part. I\n\n1204\n00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:35.200\nwant to make you\n\n1205\n00:59:35.200 --> 00:59:39.590\na better person. I want you to leave Vanderbilt with a great degree. I want you\n\n1206\n00:59:39.590 --> 00:59:40.480\nto leave Vanderbilt\n\n1207\n00:59:40.480 --> 00:59:44.020\nwith a great experience with your team members. I want you to look back on\n\n1208\n00:59:44.020 --> 00:59:45.120\nthese days and say,\n\n1209\n00:59:45.120 --> 00:59:50.590\nthis is where I really developed and became a better person. And I think the\n\n1210\n00:59:50.590 --> 00:59:51.440\nbest coaches,\n\n1211\n00:59:51.440 --> 00:59:58.000\nthe best leaders, let people know that they care about them. And they don't\n\n1212\n00:59:58.000 --> 00:59:58.960\njust care about\n\n1213\n00:59:58.960 --> 01:00:02.980\ntheir output. They care about them as a person. And that's what she's really\n\n1214\n01:00:02.980 --> 01:00:04.000\nsaying. And when\n\n1215\n01:00:04.000 --> 01:00:07.830\npeople know that you care about them, you know, Sam Walton said, and I've said\n\n1216\n01:00:07.830 --> 01:00:08.880\nthis many times,\n\n1217\n01:00:08.880 --> 01:00:13.070\nnobody will care about you until you care about them. When people know that you\n\n1218\n01:00:13.070 --> 01:00:13.760\ncare about them,\n\n1219\n01:00:13.760 --> 01:00:16.400\nthey're going to be committed to you. They're going to be inspired by you. And\n\n1220\n01:00:16.400 --> 01:00:16.960\nyou're going to get\n\n1221\n01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:24.310\nmuch better results. So in the end, you know, that focus on the person is\n\n1222\n01:00:24.310 --> 01:00:26.320\nbasically building\n\n1223\n01:00:26.320 --> 01:00:31.330\npeople capability, helping that person be a better person. And as you know, I\n\n1224\n01:00:31.330 --> 01:00:32.000\nalways say the\n\n1225\n01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:36.210\nformula for success is put people capability first, then you satisfy more\n\n1226\n01:00:36.210 --> 01:00:36.880\ncustomers,\n\n1227\n01:00:37.920 --> 01:00:42.850\nand that's how you get more make more money, care about your players. That's\n\n1228\n01:00:42.850 --> 01:00:44.720\nhow you get more wins.\n\n1229\n01:00:44.720 --> 01:00:49.660\nThat's how you end up being in the NCAA tournament and potentially winning a\n\n1230\n01:00:49.660 --> 01:00:50.400\nnational championship.\n\n1231\n01:00:50.400 --> 01:00:55.340\nThat spirit of caring about the whole person is really part of Shay's demeanor\n\n1232\n01:00:55.340 --> 01:00:56.640\nas a person\n\n1233\n01:00:56.640 --> 01:01:00.970\nand as a coach. And it kind of segues into this next topic that I want to deb\n\n1234\n01:01:00.970 --> 01:01:02.000\nrief with you, David.\n\n1235\n01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:07.430\nAnd I love how in the episode, Shay says that she is the weather, meaning her\n\n1236\n01:01:07.430 --> 01:01:08.560\nmood as a leader\n\n1237\n01:01:08.560 --> 01:01:14.640\nreally sets the tone for everyone else. Explain that concept. I love this idea.\n\n1238\n01:01:14.640 --> 01:01:15.920\nShe says I am the\n\n1239\n01:01:15.920 --> 01:01:20.640\nweather. I always say that's the shadowing, casting the shadow of leadership.\n\n1240\n01:01:20.640 --> 01:01:21.760\nShe recognizes that\n\n1241\n01:01:21.760 --> 01:01:27.520\nwhat she does really projects the kind of energy that will be transferred over\n\n1242\n01:01:27.520 --> 01:01:28.640\nto whoever she touches\n\n1243\n01:01:28.640 --> 01:01:35.030\nthat day. And so she tries to get herself in the right place. So when she goes\n\n1244\n01:01:35.030 --> 01:01:36.240\nto work, she goes\n\n1245\n01:01:36.240 --> 01:01:41.250\nto the gym, she's going to be positive. She's going to have that contagious\n\n1246\n01:01:41.250 --> 01:01:42.800\nenergy that inspires.\n\n1247\n01:01:42.800 --> 01:01:47.800\nShe's going to be able to pump people up. She's not going to be the E or the\n\n1248\n01:01:47.800 --> 01:01:49.760\ndowner. She doesn't\n\n1249\n01:01:49.760 --> 01:01:54.880\nwant that to happen. So for her, the way she does it is she relies on her faith\n\n1250\n01:01:54.880 --> 01:01:57.840\n. A lot of people do\n\n1251\n01:01:57.840 --> 01:02:03.200\nthat. They'll spend private time, they'll pray, and they'll be thankful, and\n\n1252\n01:02:03.200 --> 01:02:04.080\nthey'll get gratitude.\n\n1253\n01:02:04.080 --> 01:02:10.970\nBut she finds a way to make sure that the weather's good, that she's got a\n\n1254\n01:02:10.970 --> 01:02:12.000\ngreat weather report.\n\n1255\n01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:19.280\nThe weatherman's saying, \"It's sunny out there. No clouds in the sky, and we're\n\n1256\n01:02:19.280 --> 01:02:19.920\ngoing to get things\n\n1257\n01:02:19.920 --> 01:02:25.350\ndone.\" And so that doesn't mean she's always positive all the time, because\n\n1258\n01:02:25.350 --> 01:02:26.640\nthere's time when\n\n1259\n01:02:26.640 --> 01:02:31.410\nshe's got to show some frustration with the team. And that's when those storms\n\n1260\n01:02:31.410 --> 01:02:31.840\ncoming in, man,\n\n1261\n01:02:31.840 --> 01:02:38.480\nbecause you have made shade too happy. So you better get your act together.\n\n1262\n01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:42.800\nSo she has some stormy weather every now and then we all do. But I think by and\n\n1263\n01:02:42.800 --> 01:02:42.960\nlarge,\n\n1264\n01:02:42.960 --> 01:02:48.160\nshe wants to come in and be positive. And we talked a little bit earlier about\n\n1265\n01:02:48.160 --> 01:02:48.720\nhow she just\n\n1266\n01:02:48.720 --> 01:02:56.150\nconveys the power of belief in the person. And she's interested in the whole\n\n1267\n01:02:56.150 --> 01:02:57.280\nperson.\n\n1268\n01:02:57.280 --> 01:03:03.670\nAnd I saw that at the end of the interview with me, because she didn't just get\n\n1269\n01:03:03.670 --> 01:03:07.520\noff the mic and\n\n1270\n01:03:07.520 --> 01:03:11.980\nleave the computer. She said, \"Hey, you know what? That was really fun. That\n\n1271\n01:03:11.980 --> 01:03:12.720\nwas really good.\n\n1272\n01:03:12.720 --> 01:03:20.090\nI really enjoyed it.\" And I learned a lot from listening to your podcast in the\n\n1273\n01:03:20.090 --> 01:03:20.560\npast. And\n\n1274\n01:03:20.560 --> 01:03:26.320\ndo you have any advice for me from what you heard? And what did that show? That\n\n1275\n01:03:26.320 --> 01:03:27.360\nshow that she\n\n1276\n01:03:27.360 --> 01:03:33.280\ncared about me to a certain extent as a person, or at least she cared about\n\n1277\n01:03:33.280 --> 01:03:34.160\nwhat I had to say.\n\n1278\n01:03:34.160 --> 01:03:38.290\nAnd that made me feel very valued. And I bet she does that with everybody she\n\n1279\n01:03:38.290 --> 01:03:38.880\ntouches.\n\n1280\n01:03:38.880 --> 01:03:44.800\nAnd that's why she's great. She's partners with her husband, who coaches. And\n\n1281\n01:03:44.800 --> 01:03:45.760\nhe's been a\n\n1282\n01:03:45.760 --> 01:03:55.090\nprofessional coach. She said he's a lot better coach than she is. But she went\n\n1283\n01:03:55.090 --> 01:03:56.400\non and on about\n\n1284\n01:03:56.400 --> 01:04:05.040\nthe power they have together. And she knows how to make people feel valued and\n\n1285\n01:04:05.040 --> 01:04:06.000\nrespected,\n\n1286\n01:04:06.000 --> 01:04:10.400\nand is genuine. There's nothing fake about this woman. She's a very genuine\n\n1287\n01:04:10.400 --> 01:04:11.920\nperson. I'm honored.\n\n1288\n01:04:11.920 --> 01:04:16.080\nI got a chance to meet her. I love this concept too, David, because you don't\n\n1289\n01:04:16.080 --> 01:04:16.800\nhave to have an\n\n1290\n01:04:16.800 --> 01:04:23.190\nofficial leadership position in order to assume this role as setting the tone\n\n1291\n01:04:23.190 --> 01:04:24.160\nfor the people around\n\n1292\n01:04:24.160 --> 01:04:29.210\nyou. And I think the more that we know how our attitude and disposition and\n\n1293\n01:04:29.210 --> 01:04:29.920\noutlook and\n\n1294\n01:04:29.920 --> 01:04:34.850\nperspective affects those around us, the more we're able to lean into our own\n\n1295\n01:04:34.850 --> 01:04:35.600\nstrengths and help\n\n1296\n01:04:35.600 --> 01:04:39.760\nother people lean into theirs as well. So I just, I love this concept of being\n\n1297\n01:04:39.760 --> 01:04:40.480\nthe weather. And like\n\n1298\n01:04:40.480 --> 01:04:43.820\nyou said, I mean, she's like, there are days when I go in the locker room and\n\n1299\n01:04:43.820 --> 01:04:44.800\nmy players better get\n\n1300\n01:04:44.800 --> 01:04:48.850\nready for a big old gust to win, because they know that I'm not going to be all\n\n1301\n01:04:48.850 --> 01:04:50.000\nsunshine today.\n\n1302\n01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:55.840\nAnd the other thing too, Kula, is think about your energy level when you smile.\n\n1303\n01:04:55.840 --> 01:04:56.400\nIt's kind of hard\n\n1304\n01:04:56.400 --> 01:05:00.180\nto be down when you smile. If he forced yourself to smile, it's kind of hard to\n\n1305\n01:05:00.180 --> 01:05:01.680\nbe down. We happen\n\n1306\n01:05:01.680 --> 01:05:05.310\nto work with a guy who smiles all the time. His name is Tim Schur, and he's\n\n1307\n01:05:05.310 --> 01:05:06.160\njust so positive,\n\n1308\n01:05:06.160 --> 01:05:09.780\nit's ridiculous. I've never met anybody so positive in my life. But it's\n\n1309\n01:05:09.780 --> 01:05:11.360\namazing how he wins people\n\n1310\n01:05:11.360 --> 01:05:15.670\nover through his positive energy and his smiles. And you know, because people\n\n1311\n01:05:15.670 --> 01:05:16.640\nwant to be around\n\n1312\n01:05:16.640 --> 01:05:21.360\npeople like that. And you know, he has a contagious energy that makes it work.\n\n1313\n01:05:21.360 --> 01:05:22.080\nAnd I think that's what\n\n1314\n01:05:22.080 --> 01:05:25.650\nall leaders really want to have. Well, David, another great episode of How\n\n1315\n01:05:25.650 --> 01:05:26.720\nLeaders Lead.\n\n1316\n01:05:26.720 --> 01:05:31.440\nAnchor down. Thank you so much for listening, and we will see you next week.\n","is_pinned",false,"pinned_at","is_featured","featured_at","mix_url","https://chtbl.com/track/DCB44F/traffic.megaphone.fm/DVL2486442254.mp3","dx_media_id",3541,"video_media_id","thumbnail_image_media_id","published_date","2026-03-26","itunes_episode_id",284,"youtube_id","yaTzIc5kM74","2026-08-19T21:36:03.000000Z","Listen to this leadership podcast with Shea Ralph, Head Coach of Women’s Basketball at Vanderbilt, and discover how to lead your team to great results without being defined by them.","dx_url","https://dnl.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/uploads/DgqFK1wmFLxgPaH1Vx2Rz6zIhj0gkSENYAjdz1Nr.mp3","dx_filename","DgqFK1wmFLxgPaH1Vx2Rz6zIhj0gkSENYAjdz1Nr.mp3","dx_mux_playback_id","1012FnYwb0200Vu7dKrif1X01Qzj00nDc5kCdjr4jIrbJfow","dx_waveform_url","https://dnl.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/uploads/waveforms/3541.json","video_url","video_mux_playback_id","duration",3931994,"thumbnail_url","https://img.youtube.com/vi/yaTzIc5kM74/maxresdefault.jpg","thumbnail_image_url","dx_media",{"_13":66,"_96":80,"_97":78,"_98":-5,"_31":82,"_33":99,"_100":-5,"_101":84,"_87":88,"_102":-5},"video_media","thumbnail_image_media","filename","url","status","K6z2tW1ENCv1D6RkJB3k9FnB6qVFmsVRVfPnd7HHliI","mux_upload_id","waveform_url","preview_media_id","first_name","Shea","last_name","Ralph","job_title","Vanderbilt, Head Coach of Women’s Basketball","Shea Ralph, coach, sports, Vanderbilt, Vandy, basketball, woman, women","external_links","https://vucommodores.com/coach/shea-ralph/,https://www.instagram.com/coachshearalph/,https://x.com/SheaRalph",0,"image_media_id",3517,3518,"2026-07-20T20:34:30.000000Z","send_push_notification_at","image_url","https://dnl.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/uploads/fXlYV6d9pmBIKwEBr1JLzs0JiwWzM0mqvyLGoW8C.png","https://dnl.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/uploads/jKhbnfRakY71vYdlRmddCSNCkFqvzpbtdp9fD4HJ.png","https://www.howleaderslead.com/leaders/271/shea-ralph","industry_id",3,"industry",{"_13":123,"_134":135,"_136":138},"industries",[133],"image_media",{"_13":114,"_96":132,"_97":119,"_98":-5,"_31":-5,"_33":-5,"_100":-5,"_101":-5,"_87":-5,"_102":-5},{"_13":115,"_96":131,"_97":120,"_98":-5,"_31":-5,"_33":-5,"_100":-5,"_101":-5,"_87":-5,"_102":-5},"jKhbnfRakY71vYdlRmddCSNCkFqvzpbtdp9fD4HJ.png","fXlYV6d9pmBIKwEBr1JLzs0JiwWzM0mqvyLGoW8C.png",{"_13":123,"_134":135,"_136":137},"name","Sports","pivot",{"_35":36,"_122":123},{"_35":36,"_122":123},"user","token","favorites",[],"collections",[],"env",{"_147":148,"_149":150,"_151":152,"_153":154,"_155":156},"GOOGLE_CLIENT_ID","644017954836-qpllhu38r0tsrtfq85ukntcvsb0akbht.apps.googleusercontent.com","APPLE_CLIENT_ID","com.howleaderslead.webapp","APPLE_REDIRECT_URI","https://www.howleaderslead.com/auth/apple-callback","APP_URL","https://howleaderslead.com","GTM_ID",""]